Outtake: Christmas Cheer

“Please?”

“No.”

“Aw, come on, Rusty. Please?”

“I said no.”

“How much do I have to pay you?”

Christmas Cheer

Christmas Cheer

½ shot of Eggnog

½ shot of Peppermint Schnapps 

Mixing Instructions:

Stir it up and shoot it down. HO HO HO! Tastes like Christmas with a pine tree twist. 

Outtake 1 Teaser

I handed him a box and attacked another one myself. “Here, you open this one.”

“Dude, I’m not opening your mail.”

I stared at him. “Are you for real? I’m right and asking you to do it. I won’t call the MPs, I promise. Christ. You’re a real grandma.”

He snorted and handed the box back. “I’m still not opening it.”

“You want me to chew your cookie, too, so you don’t strain yourself or wear on your teeth?”

“Open the damn box, Jake.”

Barney on Acid

“James, just let it go,” I said with a sigh.

“But…but, Bella-boo, he put a deadbolt on his door. How am I going to get him to watch the deliciousness that is Tom Cruise with me now, huh? Jumbo Cock won’t do it any other way,” James said with a pout.

“Well, you’ll just have to…wait a minute.” I whipped around to face him. “You looked, didn’t you? How else would you know he’s gifted in that department?”

“Of course I looked. It sounds like you were a pervert and had a peek, too. What I want to know is how you accomplished it. Did you beg him, or did you jump on the hobby horse?” He thrust his hips for emphasis.

12/09/11

Barney on Acid

1/2 oz Blue Curacao

1/2 oz Jägermeister

1 splash Cranberry juice

Mixing instructions:

Shake and strain into shot glass.

Chapter 8 Teaser #2

“Hey, Uncle Harry, what’cha doing?” I asked in a whisper.

“I found a vampire,” he refused to look away from the stump. “The blood sucker is going to die. That’ll teach him for coming onto our lands.”

I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“Uh, he’s gone. You scared him off,” I murmured, hoping he’d believe me. When he had these delusions that he’d caught a vampire, sometimes it took forever to convince him to leave.
He stood up and puffed out his chest. “He’s scared of the Quileute Protectors. That’s right, run you coward! I’ll find you again!”

Harry looked over and noticed Edward standing off to the side. “Who’s that?” he asked, sizing Edward up.

“Oh, he’s the new human in town,” I said matter of factly with a head shake.

“Nice to meet you, son. Did you know that this gives you immortality?” Harry asked, picking up a mug and handing it to Edward.

Chapter 8 Teaser

“Actually, you’re interrupting the ‘morning after’ meal, so if you’ll excuse us…” I said, letting that statement trail off.

James let out a very unmanly squeal. I covered my ears, and Edward cringed. “Thank God. I thought I was going to have to lock you both in the cooler or something. Bella, I want details.”

“Of course. We’ll have coffee sometime next week, James. Now, go away so I can bask in my post-coital afterglow,” I said as a brush off.

Edward gazed at me with wide eyes—a blush covered his face and neck.

Crazy Maker

Bella was going to make me fucking crazy. And give me whiplash. I’d be a crazy person with whiplash.

Awesome.

I checked that the door was actually locked because I sure as hell didn’t need James to wander in while I was just in a towel. He’d do it, too, the nutcase. Either he was taking a class on personal boundaries, or I was getting myself a shot gun. Hell, I was thinking about getting a shotgun anyway. I had always liked guns, and even after everything, I still did. I wasn’t obsessed, but I appreciated them. Maybe I could take up hunting. Forks seemed like a good place for it.

Figuring it might be a good idea to get some sleep, I went through the apartment – my apartment – and into the bedroom. I tossed the towel into the hamper and wriggled my ass. I wasn’t sure if I could actually taunt James when he wasn’t present, but what the hell. No way was he ever seeing my naked ass, so this kind of taunting would have to do.

11/25/11

Crazy Maker

2 oz (59 ml) Southern Comfort (100 proof)

2 oz (59 ml) cranberry juice

1 oz (30 ml) orange juice

Juice of 1 wedge lime

Ice

Mixing Instructions:

Mix southern comfort and cranberry juice in a glass. Layer orange juice on the top. Squeeze lime over the top of the drink.

Bartender's guide suggests serving in an old-fashioned glass.

Chapter 7 Teaser #2

“Because you are fucking insane! Get. Out. Now.”

“You’ll miss me when I’m gone,” he told me confidently.

“Not fucking likely,” I said, snorting.

“All right, have it your way, big daddy bunny. But I’m taking the popcorn,” he said, snapping one last photo and walking out quietly.

Thank fucking God.

I covered my face with my hands. Or, rather covered my face with my hand… “James! Get back here and unlock the handcuffs!”

Chapter 7 Teaser

I dreamt about Bella storming into the diner only wearing that little pink cami and the even smaller shorts. That had been some sight. I was still smiling when I stretched and opened my eyes.

What the fuck?

I was...I was…I was having a goddamn nightmare, that was what I was. My right hand was chained to the headboard, and I yanked at the restraint while I turned my head. Handcuffs.

Thunderclap

I pulled the tape off of the last box and viewed the contents inside. Among all of the miscellaneous junk, a medium-sized tin stared back at me. I ran my hand over it reverently, knowing that my brother’s words lay inside.

It had only taken me a day and a half to pack up my things and move them to my apartment. God, I had missed having my own place. While it was nice to be close to my family when things had gone to hell, it was time to be on my own again. Sure, I was going to have to get used to living near James and his crazy ass, as well as the new guy, but those were minor irritations. I was excited to wake up in the mornings and have a Pop Tart for breakfast if I felt like it, instead of getting yelled at that I needed something more nutritious. I loved my mother, but her concern about what I was eating or doing got on my nerves sometimes.

11/11/11

Thunderclap

3/4 oz (22 ml) Blended whiskey

3/4 (22 ml) oz Brandy

3/4 (22 ml) oz Gin

Mixing Instructions:

Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into a cocktail glass, and serve.

Bartender's guide suggests serving in a cocktail glass.

Chapter 6 Teaser #2

“You picked my lock! Are you insane?” I yelled, pushing him again. “Do you have any concept of the word privacy?”

“Indian princess, please,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You and I are like peas and carrots. I can’t have my Jenny sleeping such a gorgeous day away.”

“Whatever, you fruit,” I muttered under my breath.

“You look like you’ve been crying,” James observed, leaning in closer. “Is everything okay?”

Chapter 6 Teaser

Sitting there, on my living room floor, I knew what I had to do. Jake had thought highly of Rusty, going as far as considering him a friend as close as Emmett. For him to feel that way, Rusty had to have been a very special person. It was my job, since Jake was gone, to find him and thank him for being there for my brother. Only question was—how in the hell was I going to find him? Especially if he was also in the attack that had taken Jake’s life?

Edward.

Stranger-in-Town

The bed bumped against the wall repeatedly, making the ugly-ass, framed art print shake and dance on its little nail. Loud moans rang out along with a high-pitched scream. She was definitely a screamer, which she had demonstrated over and over during the night. I desperately wished she was also into gags or something, because I was going out of my goddamn mind listening to that shit.

“Shut the fuck up!” I yelled through the wall. It wasn’t the first time, so I doubted it would do any good this time, either. Maybe I should have kicked their door in and snapped some photos of the noisy couple. In all probability, at least one of them was cheating on a spouse, and all cheaters should just roast in hell.

10/28/2011

Stranger in Town

 

1 1/2 oz.(44 ml) Light Rum

1/2 oz.(15ml) Sweet Vermouth

1/2 oz.(15 ml) Calvados

1 maraschino cherry

Mixing Instructions:

In a mixing glass half-filled with ice cubes, combine the rum, vermouth, Calvados, and cherry brandy. Stir well. Strain into a cocktail glass and garnish with the cherry.

Bartender's Guide suggests serving in a cocktail glass

Chapter 5 Teaser #2 (NSFW)

The bed bumped against the wall repeatedly, making the ugly-ass, framed art print shake and dance on its little nail. Loud moans rang out along with a high-pitched scream. She was definitely a screamer, which she had demonstrated over and over during the night. I desperately wished she was also into gags or something, because I was going out of my goddamn mind listening to that shit.

Chapter 5 Teaser

There was a knock on the door. I smiled wider – there was a knock on my door. My smile was replaced with a mixture of a snort and sheer horror when I opened it, though. Outside stood James. It wasn’t the fact that he was there that was shocking – he did live right across from me, after all. What was shocking was his attire. A maroon housecoat, bare legs, and fluffy bunny slippers. He was holding a stack of DVDs and a large container of popcorn.

“Hello, neighbor sex-on-legs,” he greeted me and filled his mouth with popcorn.

“Um, hi…” I replied slowly.

“It’s time for that Tom Cruise marathon,” he told me and breezed past me into the apartment. “Ooh, I love the drapes! Mama Swan has excellent taste. Can I try the bed? I am an excellent judge of beds.”

Absolutely Screwed

I blinked, trying to adjust my eyes to the blackness. In every direction I turned, there was nothing. I wanted to run, scream, and leave that awful place, but I wasn’t sure which way to go. The absence of light made it impossible to see where I was.

The sensation of someone standing behind me crept up my spine. Two strong arms grabbed me from behind, holding me in a vice grip against a hot, muscular chest. I could feel his scalding breath against my neck and knew there was no use in fighting—it would only lead to pain.

10/19/2011

Absolutely Screwed

1/2 oz(15 ml.) Orange Juice

1/2 oz. (15 ml.) Absolut Mandarin

Mixing Instructions:

Mix Orange Juice and Mandarin Vodka, then enjoy.

Bartender's guide suggests serving in a shot glass

Chapter 4 Teaser #2

“Ooooh, Charlieeeeeeeeeee!” A shrill female voice pierced the air.

“Why, God? Why? What did I do to you?” Charlie muttered under his breath.

The Dragon Lady herself walked up to the bar and sat on the stool. She tossed her frizzy light brown hair behind her shoulder, batting her eyelashes in a way that probably was supposed to look sexy. Instead, it came across more like she was having a seizure. The woman grabbed a hold of my dad’s forearm and squeezed lightly, making him jerk it back.

“Aw, come on, baby. Don’t be like that.” she leaned forward, pushing her breasts out.

“Um, I have to, um…yeah. I think the new guy needs me—James, get your ass down here, now!” he called out, backing away quickly.

Chapter 4 Teaser

“Hey, Flanagan!” I called out, cupping my hand around my mouth. “I think you have the bottle drop mastered, so maybe it’s time to learn how to toss them.”

A blank stare crossed his face, and I knew he had no idea what I was talking about.

“Please tell me he knows the hotness that is Tom Cruise in Cocktail,” James demanded from behind me. “Oh, shit. He really has no clue. Oh, baby cakes, it looks like a Tom Cruise marathon is in both our futures.”

All of the color drained from Mr. Terrified-of-the-Diva’s face, and he turned back to the customers.

“Nice, James,” I said, holding up my hand for a high-five. He complied and went back to work. God, working with James and Edward was such a blast.

Diva

 EPOV

The diner was everything I expected of a small town diner. Black and white checkered floor, red leather seats on the stools and chairs, apple pie on the counter. Then there were the unexpected things, like the fact that it was in an old train station, and that there was military memorabilia on the walls. A photo of Jake in his fatigues, smiling widely, behind the counter knocked the breath out of me and made me forget everything else for a moment. I hadn’t seen a picture of him since he’d died, and he looked so alive and so vibrant in the photo. How the hell could someone like him just be gone?

“You look a little lost, son. What can I get you?”

10/7/2011

Diva

1 1/2 oz. (44 ml.) Absolut Vodka

1/2 oz. (15 ml.) Passion fruit juice

1/2 oz. (15 ml.) Lime juice

1 tblsp (20 ml.) Maraschino cherry juice

Fill with 7-Up

Mixing Instructions: 

Pour and build in a tall glass or collins glass. Fill with 7-up. Garnish with cherry and lime.

Bartender's guide suggests using a Collins glass

Chapter 3 Teaser #2

The diner was everything I expected of a small town diner. Black and white checkered floor, red leather seats on the stools and chairs, apple pie on the counter. Then there were the unexpected things, like the fact that it was in an old train station, and that there was military memorabilia on the walls. A photo of Jake in his fatigues, smiling widely, behind the counter knocked the breath out of me and made me forget everything else for a moment. I hadn’t seen a picture of him since he’d died, and he looked so alive and so vibrant in the photo. How the hell could someone like him just be gone?

“You look a little lost, son. What can I get you?”

Chapter 3 Teaser

“So, cuddle muffin. Are you really a soldier like Papa Swan said?” James asked me when there was a quiet moment between customers.

“I used to be,” I replied and took a drink from my water bottle. I was kind of missing patrols right about then.

“Really? Do you still have your uniform?” he asked and leaned back against the counter next to me. “Wait, what kind of soldier? Thanks to Tom Cruise, I kind of prefer Navy Dress Whites. Yummy! Although fatigues are kind of hot, too. I’d give my left nut for a soldier to call my own. Okay, maybe not my actual left nut, but you know what I mean. Got any buddies who are taking the whole don’t ask, don’t tell thing to the extreme?”

“Um…yes, no, Army, and not that I know off,” I replied. “There are customers waiting.”

James frowned. “Don’t think we won’t be returning to this conversation, lamb chop.”

I entertained myself with thoughts of lamb chopping James’ ass with a butcher knife until we closed.

Meet the Friends!

Now that you've read about them, I'm sure you'd like to meet Emmett and Rose.

Belles of St. Mary's

BPOV

I read the words on the gray piece of granite in front of me.

“This We’ll Defend”

They were the words that my brother had lived and died by.

As I sat there in the cemetery, like I had every day since his death, I wondered for the millionth time why. Why him? He was the kind of guy people couldn’t help but like, loved his country enough to fight for it, and was the best friend I’d ever had. Nothing ever brought him down, and he always had a kind word to say. Yet God had seen fit to take him away from us and leave behind a vacuum.

Chapter 2 Teaser #2

I fought the urge to stomp off as I went to the back room. I needed a few minutes to calm down.

“Hey, girl,” a voice said from behind me.

I jumped and spun around. James was standing behind me, laughing his ass off. Prick. He loved scaring me and did it often. One would think I’d be used to it, and my guard would be up. But no, idiot got me every damn time.

“What the hell, James? Why do you always have to do that?” I asked in a huffy voice.

“Because it’s easy,” he teased, staring down at me. “Plus, it’s not my fault you’re unobservant.”

“Fuck off,” I scoffed, hiding my smile. Truth was James had grown on me since he had started working at the bar. At first, I was nervous because he was a decent looking guy, and I was afraid he’d get a wild hair up his ass and try to pursue me. We’d lost a few bartenders before him for that exact reason. It didn’t take long to see that James was different.

Meet the Family!

Before chapter 2 posts, we'd like to introduce you to a few more people important to the story!

9/24/2011

Belles of St. Mary's

1 1/2 oz (45 ml) Gin

1 oz (30 ml) Triple sec

1 oz (30 ml) Apricot brandy

2 tsp (10 ml) Lemon juice

Mixing Instructions:

In a shaker half-filled with ice cubes, combine all of the ingredients. Shake well and strain into glass.

Bartender guide suggests using a cocktail glass.

Chapter 2 Teaser

I stood outside of a small house and knocked on the front door. A warm summer breeze caressed my skin, causing my hair to fly into my face. I pushed the strands back and tucked them behind my ear. Knocking again, I wondered if anyone was home. They’d said they would be, so I was beginning to worry.

As I raised my hand to knock for a third time, the sound of footsteps sounded on the other side of the door. They were followed by a thud and a feminine voice cursing. I chuckled softly, not being able to help myself. Honestly, I loved the girl, but walking most of the time was a challenge for her. She liked to say she was so clumsy that she was practically disabled.

A few seconds later, the door swung open, revealing my best friend. Even with her clumsiness, she was one of the most loyal people I knew. She didn’t trust easily, but when you earned it, she would fight for you to the end. At the same time, though, she was shy and would blush at the drop of a hat. She was awkward around new people, but if push came to shove, her protective nature would override her bashfulness.

The one thing that drove me absolutely bat shit crazy, though, was her extreme insecurity. I had never understood her self-doubting, because she was gorgeous. She hid her figure behind grandma clothes—I told her she would be a fox if she’d lose them—but she would always brush me off and say I was crazy. One day, I vowed, I was going to get her to say she was beautiful.

Army Special

EPOV

The heat was unbearable. The dust was fucking everywhere. The sun was giving me the illusion that I was a goddamn pie baking in a goddamn oven. I was hot. Tense. Dirty. Overwhelmed with thoughts that I wanted nothing more than to evict from my head forever. I really had no time or use for thoughts about my sorry excuse for a family now – I was too busy being miserable.

“Morning, Cullen. Nothing like a beautiful April day, huh?”

9/15/2011

Army Special

 1 oz. (30 ml) Vodka
1 oz. (30 ml) Gin
1 1/2 oz. (45 ml) Lime juice cordial
1/2 glass ice

Mixing Instructions:

Pour Vodka, Gin and Lime cordial into glass and top up with crushed ice. Wait for ice to melt slightly and sip without a straw.

Bartender guide suggests serving in a cocktail glass. 

Meet the Players!

Before we post the first chapter, we'd like to introduce you to a couple of the featured characters. Go ahead and say hello to them - they rarely bite.

Story posts this week here! 

Chapter 1 Teaser #2

“So hey, I’ve got cookies for you,” Jake said, thrusting a plastic container into my hands. “You know, my sister insists on making everyone in the squad their favorite cookies at least once on this tour. Well, you’re up, Rusty!”

He grinned. ”Considering how you always stuff yourself when I get peanut butter cookies, I figured they were your favorites, so here ya go – compliments of the best sister in the world.”

Jake’s sister was legendary in our squad. She sent cookies, cakes, candy – hell, Jake even talked her into sending issues of Playboy as long as he swore that they weren’t for him. She really didn’t know her brother as well as she thought she did, especially if she expected him to be honest about porn. She also had a way of twisting her words in such a way that every day events became the greatest source of entertainment when Jake read her letters out loud at night to the whole squad.

“Thanks, Chief. They look great. Please thank her for me,” I said, looking down at the most delicious-looking cookies I had seen since I was a kid and believed in goddamn Santa Claus. A cold glass of milk, and I would have been in fucking heaven. Though, with my luck, the milk would be full of sand like everything else was.

Chapter 1 Teaser

The fact that I was a goddamn jaded bastard meant that I skipped right past the shock that hit the others momentarily. I had been in similar situations before, and I barely needed to think before I started barking out orders.

I then registered two things at the same time. Jake had been hit in the neck and was bleeding on the floor. And Jones, who was driving the vehicle, had also been hit and was slumped over the steering wheel. He must still have had his foot on the gas, because the vehicle was moving. I yelled at Crowley to take over the driving before we ended up in a ditch and became a stationary target for the motherfuckers still shooting at us.

I was sure that Tyler Crowley did his best because that was the kind of man he was, but we did end up in the ditch. And just as I heard a chopper overhead coming to help us out of the mess we had ended up in, the world around me exploded.

Again my jadedness made me register something faster than should have been possible. Only this time I wasn’t sure I had wanted to know what was happening before everything went black. It was a fucking rotten last thought to have.

Roadside bomb.

Posting soon!

Summary:
The war in Afghanistan takes away everything that matters to Army Sergeant Edward Cullen. Alone and broken, he has to find a new path in life, but he doesn’t know where to start looking. Unexpected encounters form bonds that last and instead of dodging bullets in the desert, he fights to keep his sanity and heart. A romantic tale full of humor and canon twists.
 - - -
Story will be posted soon. Put us on author alert here.

About Us

Who is DivineInspiration? 

I’m a twenty-something female from the once great kingdom of Denmark – you know, the place with the Vikings, the beer, and the Legos. Or is it the place with the pastry, the butter, and the bacon? I forget. Wind mills! We definitely have those, too. And remember Aqua’s “Barbie Girl”? Yes, that one. I apologize on behalf of my country. We’ll make it up to you somehow.

Anyhoodles. I’m a writer who was forced into the whole Twilight business by a friend, who remains my friend only because she sometimes sends me delicious Australian wine and Cadbury chocolate. I swam around the mighty Twific sea for a while until I found my piece of dry land in the form of shelikesthesound. She’s the peanut butter to my jelly. The e to my mail. The Rusty to my Chief. It was love at first story collaboration.

Want to know more? Find me on Twitter. My own stories are located on FF'n.

 

~.~.~.~

Who is shelikesthesound?

I’m a thirty-something wife and mother who was probably never supposed to become obsessed with Twilight, but it happened anyway. My husband gets all the credit, or fault, for inadvertently exposing me to the world of Stephenie Meyer’s creations. I’m pretty sure he’s kicking himself for it now.

I’m an American, and I live in the great state of Indiana—home of guns, God, and corn. Lots and lots of corn. For some reason, instead of having a decent nickname like a Texan or a Michigander, we got stuck with being called Hoosiers. Yeah, we have no idea what it means, either.

I came late to the party and didn’t have the guts to write until last Fall. But I’m glad I did, because I found my better half, should-have-been-sister, and Jenny to my Forrest Gump in DivineInspiration. She’s the one with the ideas, and I’m just the one that twists them. Or destroys them. Whatever.

I pretty much live on Twitter, so you can find me there. My stories are posted on FF’n, The Writer’s Coffee Shop, Twilighted, and TwiWrite.

Chapter Drinks

Since our story chapters will be named after real alcoholic drinks, we felt it was only fair to share the recipes of each name inspiration for your enjoyment. Remember, if you're not 21 or over, we suggest you do not try it at all, because underage drinking is a no-no and stuff. Oh, and scary gnomes will come and try to eat you while you're intoxicated. They like the taste of those who don't heed warnings.

Army Special
Belles of St. Mary's 
Diva
Absolutely Screwed
Stranger-in-Town
Thunderclap
Crazy Maker