Outtake: Christmas Cheer

“Please?”

“No.”

“Aw, come on, Rusty. Please?”

“I said no.”

“How much do I have to pay you?”

Christmas Cheer

Christmas Cheer

½ shot of Eggnog

½ shot of Peppermint Schnapps 

Mixing Instructions:

Stir it up and shoot it down. HO HO HO! Tastes like Christmas with a pine tree twist. 

Outtake 1 Teaser

I handed him a box and attacked another one myself. “Here, you open this one.”

“Dude, I’m not opening your mail.”

I stared at him. “Are you for real? I’m right and asking you to do it. I won’t call the MPs, I promise. Christ. You’re a real grandma.”

He snorted and handed the box back. “I’m still not opening it.”

“You want me to chew your cookie, too, so you don’t strain yourself or wear on your teeth?”

“Open the damn box, Jake.”

Barney on Acid

“James, just let it go,” I said with a sigh.

“But…but, Bella-boo, he put a deadbolt on his door. How am I going to get him to watch the deliciousness that is Tom Cruise with me now, huh? Jumbo Cock won’t do it any other way,” James said with a pout.

“Well, you’ll just have to…wait a minute.” I whipped around to face him. “You looked, didn’t you? How else would you know he’s gifted in that department?”

“Of course I looked. It sounds like you were a pervert and had a peek, too. What I want to know is how you accomplished it. Did you beg him, or did you jump on the hobby horse?” He thrust his hips for emphasis.

12/09/11

Barney on Acid

1/2 oz Blue Curacao

1/2 oz Jägermeister

1 splash Cranberry juice

Mixing instructions:

Shake and strain into shot glass.

Chapter 8 Teaser #2

“Hey, Uncle Harry, what’cha doing?” I asked in a whisper.

“I found a vampire,” he refused to look away from the stump. “The blood sucker is going to die. That’ll teach him for coming onto our lands.”

I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“Uh, he’s gone. You scared him off,” I murmured, hoping he’d believe me. When he had these delusions that he’d caught a vampire, sometimes it took forever to convince him to leave.
He stood up and puffed out his chest. “He’s scared of the Quileute Protectors. That’s right, run you coward! I’ll find you again!”

Harry looked over and noticed Edward standing off to the side. “Who’s that?” he asked, sizing Edward up.

“Oh, he’s the new human in town,” I said matter of factly with a head shake.

“Nice to meet you, son. Did you know that this gives you immortality?” Harry asked, picking up a mug and handing it to Edward.

Chapter 8 Teaser

“Actually, you’re interrupting the ‘morning after’ meal, so if you’ll excuse us…” I said, letting that statement trail off.

James let out a very unmanly squeal. I covered my ears, and Edward cringed. “Thank God. I thought I was going to have to lock you both in the cooler or something. Bella, I want details.”

“Of course. We’ll have coffee sometime next week, James. Now, go away so I can bask in my post-coital afterglow,” I said as a brush off.

Edward gazed at me with wide eyes—a blush covered his face and neck.