Stranger-in-Town

The bed bumped against the wall repeatedly, making the ugly-ass, framed art print shake and dance on its little nail. Loud moans rang out along with a high-pitched scream. She was definitely a screamer, which she had demonstrated over and over during the night. I desperately wished she was also into gags or something, because I was going out of my goddamn mind listening to that shit.

“Shut the fuck up!” I yelled through the wall. It wasn’t the first time, so I doubted it would do any good this time, either. Maybe I should have kicked their door in and snapped some photos of the noisy couple. In all probability, at least one of them was cheating on a spouse, and all cheaters should just roast in hell.


Laughter and muffled voices floated through the wall, and I covered my face with my arm. Motherfuck. Motels made barracks in the desert seem incredibly desirable. I’d even take on the dust without complaining if only I could get some decent sleep. If loud people weren’t having sex right on the other side of a paper-thin wall, insomniacs were watching TV all night, or babies with colic or some shit were crying constantly. The mattresses were either too hard or too soft, and my back didn’t like it one damn bit. Hot showers were a rare luxury, but filthy furniture and carpets were not.

The bed in the room next door started bumping into the wall again. Fuck it all. I missed my M16A2 rifle. Jake had named his Dickey on our last tour because he claimed it reminded him of his favorite weapon – the one that made all the girls surrender. I hadn’t named mine – any of mine – but I sure as hell could have used my rifle for the idiots next door. Preventing a man’s sleep should be a capital offense.

I looked at my watch. It was already a quarter past six, and I had gotten very little sleep. Unfortunately, I couldn’t sleep the entire morning away as I had to find a Laundromat and wash some of my clothes. I was running low on acceptable work attire and while I was at it, I probably needed to go buy some new clothes, adding to the narrow selection I had gotten after I’d been released from the hospital. After seven years in the Army, I didn’t have a whole lot of civilian clothes.

My back protested when I sat up, and so did my knee when I put weight on it. I felt like a really old man in the mornings, and while I doubted my knee would ever get better, I hoped my back might when I treated it to a better bed. I sighed and closed my eyes. Needing half an hour to get fully moving in the mornings was nothing compared to the sacrifices others had made. Jake, for one. If only he had been the one to come home safe to his family, even if it had been with a bum knee. I would have traded places with him in a heartbeat if I could. It was the sad truth that I wouldn’t have been missed by anyone if I had died in his place.

I took a lukewarm shower and dressed in my last clean clothes. Then I gathered up all my laundry, went across the street to get some coffee, a bagel, and a muffin, and went in search of the laundromat. When I found it, it was practically empty, so after loading all my clothes into the machines, I settled down with my breakfast and coffee. I dug out my cell phone after I’d eaten and tried to remember the password to my email account. I hadn’t checked that fucker in months. Scratching my head, I wondered why the hell I didn’t have a password that had some kind of significance so I could actually remember it.

Like…firecracker. I smiled to myself while I tried different passwords I had used over the years. Jake’s sister was nothing like I had expected her to be. I had never really thought about what she might look like – just that she would probably look like Jake. In my mind, she had been more of an ideal than an actual person. She had symbolized everything good and safe back home while making things easier for her brother and those around him. If only she knew how much of a difference she had made for us over there. Jake hadn’t known, and I was probably never going to admit it to her, either, but her letters had kept me afloat. Not receiving any myself, I had lived vicariously through Jake, and the words she had sent him had made me feel like someone back home actually cared.

And then she had turned out to be possibly the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Jake’s sister of all people. I shook my head a little, and then I shook my phone just for the hell of it. What was that goddamn password? My thoughts drifted back to Bella. I had to admit to myself that I had imagined her a lot more like Jake – happy, sunshiny smiles, uncomplicated, and without secrets. Bella smiled – and she smiled beautifully – but they were guarded smiles with hints of shadows. It was understandable, of course – Jake’s death had probably changed everyone who had known him, and especially those he was closest to.

As I sat contemplating Jake and the influence he had had on everyone in his life, it finally came to me. Screwdriver! My password was screwdriver, another little reminder of my best friend. The year before, just after we’d arrived in Afghanistan, my email account had been hacked or some shit, sending out bogus emails. Jake had told me to change my password, and when I hadn’t been able to think of one in the five seconds he’d given me, he had changed it himself. To screwdriver of all things.

I typed it in, and sure enough, I was granted access to my account. There was surprisingly little spam, but plenty of updates for whatever crap I had signed up for over the years. After weeding all those away, there were eight emails left. The oldest one was from Jake, and it made me squeeze my eyes shut for a moment. It was a random forward thing if the subject line could be trusted, and it was sent three days before the roadside bomb. My finger hovered over the button to open it, but I just couldn’t do it. It was the last thing he would ever tell me – even if it was only some stupid chain mail or a bunch of lame jokes. I scrolled down and found six emails from former squad members. Those I would have to prepare myself to look at later as they would probably reopen a lot of old wounds. The last one was from…I looked at the name, never in a million years expecting to see it in my inbox again. There had been a time when it had been there all the time. Jasper Whitlock. Back in high school, he and I had been best friends, but when I had joined the Army, he had stood on my family’s side – against me. He had been engaged to my sister and been my parents’ favorite because he was headed to law school and was full of charming, old-fashioned manners.

Eight little, innocent-looking emails, but they all held the power to knock the wind out of me. I loaded my laundry from the washers to the dryers while I willed myself not to be a pussy. Once the dryers were started, I sat back down and opened the email from Jasper. It seemed like the easiest place to start.

It was short and sent only two weeks earlier. It just said that he had heard that I had been injured overseas and to please call him as soon as possible. He had added his phone number. I looked at the short message for a long time. Why the hell would I want to call him after all this time? Had something happened to Alice or my parents? I tapped my fingers nervously against my knee. Did I care? Biting the inside of my cheek, I admitted that I probably did – at least as much as they had cared when I had been in the hospital suffering from my run-in with a bomb.

I saved the number on my phone and went through every stereotypical, nervous gesture in the book – tapping my foot, biting my lip, rubbing my forehead, running a hand through my hair – before I finally gave in and pressed the call button. Damn it all to hell. Part of me hoped he wouldn’t pick up, but that hope was in vain.

“Hello?”

I hadn’t talked to him in seven years, but his voice hadn’t changed so much that I didn’t recognize it immediately. It took up a big part of the soundtrack of my childhood. We had made mud pies together, raced around on our tricycles, chased girls and bugs, gotten into trouble, and naively believed that we would be best friends forever. I hadn’t been trying to replace Jasper with Jake, but it had happened anyway thanks to Jake’s insistent personality.

“Hello? Anyone there?” Jasper asked, making me realize that I hadn’t spoken yet.

I cleared my throat. “Hi. It’s Edward. I um, I just saw your email.”

“Edward! Fuck, man. I’m so glad to hear your voice,” he said. “I didn’t know you’d been hurt until two weeks ago, and it just made me realize…you know what, never mind what it made me realize. How are you? Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied after a short moment’s hesitation. “Why did you need me to call you?”

I heard him sigh. “When Alice let it slip that you’d come close to dying over there, I realized that I shouldn’t waste anymore time without telling you how sorry I am for the way I treated you back then. It wasn’t like I agreed with your family anyway, I just…I don’t know, man. I lost sight of what was important, probably because of Alice, but I was a really shitty friend at a really shitty time. And it’s high time I apologized. I really am sorry for not being the friend you deserved.”

“Um…okay?” What the hell was I supposed to say to an apology that was seven years late? “I appreciate that, but I don’t really know if it makes a difference.”

He sighed. “Yeah, I know. I didn’t expect everything to be fine just because I said that I’m sorry. I just…I just had to, okay? I fucking freaked when I found out, and Alice not telling me that you’d been hurt or that she went to DC to see you…it was just the last straw. I don’t even know what happened exactly, only that it was serious.”

I snorted, unable to help myself. She’d been to see me, all right. “Alice should have stayed the fuck away from the hospital, and my dad should have kept his nose out of it. You can tell them both that. That whole checking up on me but not wanting me to know, is bullshit, and it also shows how rotten they are.”

“I’ll take great delight in telling them that if I see them again, but honestly, man? I might not,” he replied. “Things between Alice and me went downhill shortly after you left. We’ve been on and off ever since because, as much as I still love her, I don’t particularly like her. And not telling me that you had been seriously hurt was just fucking low.”

I didn’t know what to say to him. I probably also couldn’t deny the fact that I loved Alice – or my parents for that matter – but there was nothing about them that I liked. Though, until a few minutes prior, I would have involuntarily grouped Jasper with them. Now I didn’t know what to think.

“So, um, are you going back to Afghanistan?” Jasper asked after a small pause.

I leaned my head back against the wall and suppressed a sigh. “No, I didn’t renew my contract. My knee…it’s not a hundred percent and probably never will be.”

“Shit, I’m sorry, man. That blows,” Jasper said.

“I was lucky,” I said seriously. “I still have my leg, not to mention my life.”

“Of course,” he replied. “So what are you doing now? Are you back in Seattle?”

“It’s not home anymore. Actually that’s what I’m trying to find. At the moment I’m in a little town called Forks up near Port Angeles. I’m…I’m visiting a friend, and I was offered a job, so I’m sticking around for a bit,” I said, wondering why I was telling him anything.

There was awkward silence for a while. I watched my laundry spin while wondering what to have with my coleslaw at the diner for lunch.

I heard Jasper clear his throat. “Maybe I could come up for a visit sometime? I mean, I don’t expect you to just forgive me for being a spineless idiot for this long, but…I don’t know, man. Let me buy you a beer sometime. That’s all.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I said, not doing much to hide my lack of enthusiasm. Jasper didn’t seem to get that he was someone I had written off a long time ago. I hadn’t been waiting by the phone for the day he called to apologize for being a shitty friend at a time when I could have fucking used his support.

The goodbyes were awkward, and I hung up not having the faintest idea if I had talked to my former best friend for the last time. And if I was being honest, the fact that my laundry was done was far more interesting.

I had forgotten all about my conversation with Jasper when I walked into Upstairs at lunch time. Charlie was behind the counter and spotted me right away. He waved me over to the seat I had sat in the first day, and I sat down with a smile, remembering my sentimental and entirely unfounded notion that Jake used to sit in it.

“You’re just in time,” he said to me with a twinkle in his eyes and a laugh that was threatening to escape.

I eyed him carefully. He looked so much like Jake just before one of his pranks was set to blow up in someone’s face. Maybe Charlie was the one who had educated him in the fine art of pranking.

“Just in time for what?” I asked, suspiciously.

Charlie snickered and pointed toward the kitchen. “That.”

A woman who looked so much like Jake that she had to be Mrs. Swan came out from the kitchen carrying a large tray. “You and you,” she said, motioning with her head to Charlie and me. “Follow me, please.”

No stranger to taking orders, I slid off the stool. When I looked at Charlie, he just shrugged and grinned. We followed her over to a booth in the corner where she put the tray down on the table before turning to me. Her smile was wide, and there was no doubt that she had passed it on to her son right along with the color of her skin. In that regard, Bella was definitely her father’s daughter just as much as Jake was his mother’s son.

“Ma’am,” I said, nodding my head.

Her laugh was a little choked, and I was more than a little surprised when she hugged me. I awkwardly hugged her back while Charlie just laughed. She laughed, too, when she released me and ran a finger under each eye.

“I’m sorry, dear,” she said, fanning her face with her hand. “I’m being silly, it’s just that…well, you were with Jake when…and Charlie said that you’re the Rusty he wrote about all the time. It’s like you’re a little piece of Jake, and I’m so happy to meet someone who meant so much to him. And…you were the last person my baby boy saw in this life, weren’t you?”

I nodded, still rather baffled at her reaction to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella behind the counter, looking at us wide-eyed. She didn’t join us, and I wondered if Charlie had told her that I had known Jake. It might explain why she had suddenly decided to be nice to me. Turning around, she ducked into the kitchen and disappeared from my view.

Mrs. Swan motioned for me to sit down and then sat down opposite me, next to Charlie. Looking over at her husband briefly, she took a moment to gather her thoughts. “Can I ask you something about Jake and how…um, that day?”

“Of course, Mrs. Swan. Anything,” I replied.

“First of all, call me Sue. Secondly, my husband doesn’t think I should be asking you this,” she said, narrowing her eyes playfully at her husband before turning serious again. “He’s very protective that way, but now that I actually have the opportunity, I need to know about my son’s last moments on this earth. Not how he died – I don’t want to hear about that. But how was he that day? Was he happy? Smiling? What did he say?”

I hoped Jake had appreciated the fact that he had the best parents in the world. And I hoped Bella appreciated it, too. Jake’s dad had asked me if Jake had suffered, and now his mom wanted to know if he had been happy. Could any child really ask for more than that?

It tore at my heart to remember that day, but I wasn’t about to disappoint Jake’s mom. I cleared my throat. “I can’t remember a day where Jake wasn’t happy. Being around him…he didn’t just hold me up, he held everyone up. That day…that day was no exception. When we drove out, he and one of the other guys were playfully bickering about big cities versus small towns, and I think you can guess how good a defense Forks got.”

They both smiled, and Sue dabbed her eyes with a napkin.

“I don’t remember the last thing he said, but whatever it was, it was either defending Forks or insulting big cities.” I took a deep breath, remembering the exact moment everything had gone to hell. “But I do remember the last thing he did before...um, Jake had been talking about how he was supposed to…”

I stopped talking. I felt like I was choking. I hadn’t thought about exactly what Jake had been talking about that day before. He was going home to work Downstairs. At the bar. I had gotten the job that was supposed to be Jake’s. That little realization hit me hard.

“You okay, son?” Charlie asked, interrupting my little melt-down.

“Yeah. Sorry, just realized…um, doesn’t matter,” I said, trying to remember what I had been saying. “Jake had been talking about how he was supposed to go home and work at the bar, and when we passed a bombed out shed or something, one of the big city boys teasingly asked Jake if that was what the small-town bar he was going home to work at looked like. Jake’s reply was to stick his tongue out. That was…that was the last thing he did.”

I looked up to see Sue crying and Charlie comforting her. I felt awful. The last thing I wanted was to make a grieving mother upset, but refusing to answer her question hadn’t been an option either.

“Thank you,” Sue said, smiling through her tears and reaching over to squeeze my hand. “It probably sounds stupid, but it makes me happy to know that my baby boy was being his silly, lovable self when…that’s how we remember him, after all.”

I nodded. I had very few memories of Jake that didn’t include him smiling or laughing.

Sue insisted I have lunch with her and Charlie. She dished out the most delicious-looking open faced roast beef sandwiches along with iced tea from the tray she had brought. We shared lighthearted stories about Jake’s shenanigans, and while it was still difficult to talk about him, it was a great inspiration that his parents talked so openly about him. Grief often made you want to bottle everything up because you somehow believed that it would lessen the hurt not to talk about it. I was guilty of it myself, since I had blown off any attempt the people at Walter Reed had made to get me to talk about what had happened. I didn’t regret it, because those people hadn’t known Jake or the other extraordinary men that had fallen victim to the roadside bomb and the sniper. But being here and talking to the people who had known the civilian part of Jake the best might do me some good, too. It would only be fair if those he had left behind could help heal each other somehow.

“Lunch was great. Thank you, ma’am,” I said after polishing off a piece of the magical apple pie. I was going to get fat fast if I kept eating lunch at the diner.

Sue smiled at me. “You’re welcome, dear. I’m glad you’re here, and I hope you’ll be sticking around for a while. Charlie told me you’re out of the Army now and have no definitive plans?”

“That’s right. I’m just looking for something that feels right, and right now, being in Forks feels right,” I replied.

“You were injured that day, too, weren’t you?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yes. That’s why I left the Army. My knee…the doctors said that they couldn’t give me any guarantees that it would ever be strong enough for active duty, but I think they were being nice to me by saying that. Every morning, it’s completely fuc-…sorry, ma’am – messed up, and it takes me a while to get moving.”

“Should you even be bartending?” she asked, sending Charlie an accusing glance. “It’s a lot of standing.”

I suppressed a smile at how chagrined Charlie looked. “It’s fine, ma’am. As soon as I get moving in the mornings, it’s okay. It didn’t bother me at all last night.”

“All right,” Sue allowed, looking at me like only a mother who had experienced a disobedient son could. “But if it does bother you, don’t be a hero. Sit down, and don’t let the rascals you work with bully you. I know how they can be.”

Charlie snickered, obviously counting himself among the rascals.

“Thank you, but I’m sure it will be fine,” I said.

“All right, I need to get back to work before Leah burns down the place,” Sue said, getting up. She picked up the tray and smiled at me. “Edward, it was very nice to meet you, please don’t be a stranger. Charlie, give the boy a night off so he can come over for dinner, and don’t forget about the apartment.”

“It was nice to meet you, too,” I told her at the same time as Charlie muttered, “Yes, ma’am.” I wished my parents were as lovely and as much of a riot as Jake’s.

Charlie was chuckling as Sue walked away. “My wife would have made a great drill sergeant. This place, and all of us in it, would fall apart without her.”

“Jake said the same thing about her once,” I said. “Some of the guys were giving him shit about the socks she sent him, and he said that they were just jealous and that his mom could make them weep faster than our drill sergeant back in basic training.”

Charlie snorted. “He wasn’t kidding. The socks were horrible, though. She knitted me some, too, and I accidentally tore a large hole in one of them.”

I laughed. The multi-colored socks hadn’t been pretty, but I had never mocked them because they had been made with love, and Jake had loved them.

“So, I wanted to talk to you about your living arrangements,” Charlie said. “You’re probably staying at the motel, right?”

I nodded.

Charlie wrinkled his nose. “Aro shouldn’t be running a motel. He thinks hygiene is a small town in Siberia. The only reason he’s still in business is the lack of competition. We’ve got three apartments upstairs. Bella has one, and so does James. The third one was intended for Jake, but Sue and I would like you to have it. It would be part of your salary just like it’s part of James’. There’s honestly no one else we’d rather have living there than you.”

“Charlie, I couldn’t…I…” Flabbergasted, I leaned back in my seat.

He sighed. “He won’t be coming back, no matter how much we leave what was his or intended to be his untouched. My boy would have been the first to tell you to get the hell out of Aro’s fleabag motel and into a place that he was looking forward to staying in. And I’m not going to lie, it would be a relief if you’d say yes. Bella has been staying with us since she came home, but now she wants to move into the apartment that has been hers all along. Bella is tough as nails, and having James there helps, but a father worries. You’d be doing everyone, including yourself, a favor.”

The Swans were the kindest people I had ever met, and their generosity overwhelmed me – as did the thought of living in what should have been Jake’s apartment. I didn’t want to appear as if I was taking advantage of the fact that he was gone by taking what would have been his job and his place to live.

“Please?” Charlie asked. “Having to report back to the drill sergeant of my life that I wasn’t able to convince you won’t be fun. Besides, you’d help an old man out by being there. Although he’s nowhere as capable as you, between you and James, I’d know that Bella was safe.”

I didn’t know if he was just being overcautious about Bella this soon after losing Jake, but I kept hearing hints about something that had happened to her. Of course, it was none of my business, but maybe it could explain the drastic difference between the saint I had believed her to be through her letters to Jake and the firecracker she had turned out to be in person. Or maybe I had just misread her and the tone in her letters completely. It was very possible.

I forced myself to think about the matter of the apartment instead of Bella. I desperately wanted to escape the motel, and just the thought of having a place to call my own after all this time made me want to drool like a goddamn dog. I tried to imagine what Jake would have said. Biting the inside of my cheek, I realized that he wouldn’t have said anything. He would have slapped the back of my head and given me his perfected Get Your Ass in Gear, Rusty look.

“Thank you. If you’re really sure, I’d love to get out of the motel,” I said to Charlie.

“Excellent,” he replied with a smile. “It just so happens that I have the key right here in my pocket, so let’s go upstairs and I’ll show it to you.”

I chuckled and followed him outside, where there was a staircase on the side of the building. Once upstairs, he unlocked the door, and we stepped into a wide corridor that looked like it belonged inside a real home. There were photographs and art on the walls, and it led to what looked like a living room with a couch, chairs, lamps, plants, and a coffee table. There were even shelves with books and knickknacks on the wall. Just like in the corridor, there were also paintings and photographs. There were four doors, and Charlie pointed to each of them.

“Over there is James’ place, and next to it there’s a storage room with washers and dryers for everyone’s use. Across from it we have Bella, and you’re next to her, across from James,” he said and went over to unlock the door that was mine.

The apartment wasn’t large, but when you were used to barracks in the desert or motel rooms, it was like a palace. There was a large, open kitchen and living area, a fairly large bedroom, a bathroom, and a big ass closet I had no idea what I was supposed to fill with.

“Sue decorated it for Jake, and you’re welcome to all of it, but if you don’t like it, I’ll have it removed later today,” Charlie said.

It was all done in light earth tones, but with splashes of blue that kept away the illusion of sand and desert. The furniture was dark wood, and the throw on the couch made me miss my grandma. It was pretty fucking perfect, and I told Charlie so. He nodded with a smile that told me he agreed.

“Jake’s personal stuff was never moved over here before…um, so it’s ready for you to move into whenever you want. Sue cleaned it yesterday,” he said.

“Thank you so much, Charlie. This is…” I smiled. This was a home. “This is great. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“Like I said, this is great arrangement for all of us,” Charlie replied and handed me the keys. “I need to get back downstairs. Let me know if there’s anything you need. I’ll see you down in the bar later.”

After he had left, I looked around with a smile on my face. Then I looked at my watch to check if I had time to go and get my stuff and check out of the motel. Thankfully, I had plenty of time, so I locked up and jogged – yes, jogged, even if my knee wasn’t happy about it – down to the motel. An hour later, I was back with my car and all my belongings, happy in the knowledge that I would be sleeping in a real bed after work. I fucking whistled while I unpacked. Had I ever whistled before? I couldn’t remember, and I didn’t care.

There was a knock on the door. I smiled wider – there was a knock on my door. My smile was replaced with a mixture of a snort and sheer horror when I opened it, though. Outside stood James. It wasn’t the fact that he was there that was shocking – he did live right across from me, after all. What was shocking was his attire. A maroon housecoat, bare legs, and fluffy bunny slippers. He was holding a stack of DVDs and a large container of popcorn.

“Hello, neighbor sex-on-legs,” he greeted me and filled his mouth with popcorn.

“Um, hi…” I replied slowly.

“It’s time for that Tom Cruise marathon,” he told me and breezed past me into the apartment. “Ooh, I love the drapes! Mama Swan has excellent taste. Can I try the bed? I am an excellent judge of beds.”

I closed the door and stalked after him. No fucking way was he going anywhere my bed. I hadn’t even tried it out yet. “Stay away from my bed, and while you’re at it, just stay away from everything. No touching the drapes. No touching anything!”

James pouted and stuffed another handful of popcorn into his mouth. He chewed thoughtfully while tapping his fluffy bunny foot against the floor. “Can we watch Tom Cruise’s sexy ass now? I could eat breakfast off that thing, you know.”

“I’m sure you could. Listen, I don’t have time to watch movies right now. I have a few things to unpack, and then I have to go to work,” I said, hoping he would take his housecoat, fluffy slippers-wearing ass and leave. He was freaking me out, and I was going to make sure that my door was locked at all times.

He didn’t move an inch.

“Let me get this straight, buttercup,” he said. “You would rather unpack than watch Tom Cruise? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m saying, buttercup,” I replied with a smirk.

James chortled. “All right, no Tom Cruise…today. But I’ll be back, you know that, right?”

“I’m sure you will,” I replied, easily. “Tell me something. Are you planning to go to work dressed like that?”

He wriggled his ass. “Ya like?”

“Not particularly,” I replied dryly. “I was more afraid that you’d scare away the customers. Don’t you have to be downstairs when the bar opens?”

“We’d get a lot more business if I showed my legs. Just sayin’,” he said, extremely sure of himself. “And no, I’m not on until later. You’ve got the Indian princess all to your smexy self for a couple of hours. Don’t let me find any ass prints on the counter.”

“Get out,” I said tiredly, shaking my head. I was ready for this day to be over so I could crawl into my new bed. It had been extremely long and emotional, and I still had my shift in the bar to get through.

Snickering, James wriggled his ass all the way to his own apartment. He blew me a kiss before I slammed my door. If I spent too much time around that lunatic, I was going to lose my goddamn mind.

After finishing the small task of unpacking, I discovered that working alone with the pretty firecracker was…interesting. She kept eyeing me weirdly, but was pleasant and friendly enough. I managed to break only one glass, and although it looked like it pained her to tell me, she complimented me on the way I handled the customers. She loosened up a little when James came prancing in, thankfully now clad in jeans and a button down. Even the fluffy bunny slippers were gone.

“Did you hear about the latest scandal, Indian Princess?” he asked Bella and slipped behind the bar.

“Am I usually interested in scandals?” she fired back and served a beer for a customer with a blinding smile. Why the hell didn’t she ever smile like that at me?

“I’m not talking celebrity scandals. I know you’re not into that, although you really should check out the last issue of US Magazine. Just sayin’, girl. I’m talking about a scandal that took place right here in this building,” James insisted.

She turned to look at him and rolled her eyes with a sigh. “Since you’re not going to shut up about it, just tell me now and let’s be fucking done with it.”

“Sweetballs over there would rather unpack than watch Tom Cruise!” he exclaimed, making me cover my face with a towel in exasperation and turn my back to the bar. He was a moron.

When I removed the towel and looked over at them again, Bella was looking at him like he had lost his marbles. The pretty firecracker had seen the light. Hallelujah.

“So?” she asked him.

James’s eyes widened. “But it’s Tom Cruise!”

“Yeah, he’s a pussy,” Bella said and returned to work.

“Oh no, baby girl. He’s got all the right parts,” James objected. “No pussy anywhere on his gorgeous bod.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d actually checked,” she commented with a snort. “But it doesn’t change the fact that people with good taste in movies would rather have a root canal than watch him butcher a role.”

“But…but…but…” James looked like he was about to cry, and I was having a difficult time keeping my laughter in.

“And the same goes for your other boy toys, Brad Pitt, Orlando Bloom, and whatever they’re called. They wouldn’t know a decent role if it bit them in the ass,” Bella said, practically steamrolling James, who was gaping at her.

“Hey, Edward,” she called out. Uh oh. “Give Jamie-poo here some titles of real movies.”

And just like that I was the one put in the spot. Fuck me. “The Godfather, Cinderella Man, Intermission, and Die Hard,” I replied with very little hesitation. When you hesitated, you ended up getting shot - in Afghanistan, and probably around Bella, too.

“Hm, not bad,” she said after a moment and fucking winked at me. “All right, back to work. There are customers waiting.”

James and I looked at each other, and I was pretty sure that he was as clueless as me about what had just happened. With a shrug, I did as asked and went to serve some thirsty people. Around eight, Emmett and his icy fiancée came in. I had no idea what the hell I had ever done to her, but she acted like I had run over her dog or something. She went to sit at the far end of the bar where Bella was working. Emmett came over to my side and plopped down on a stool. I got him the beer he requested, and when there was a lull between customers, I went over to talk to him. Unfortunately, James had the same idea.

“I have important business to discuss with you,” James told Emmett and me, looking briefly toward the other end of the bar. “I’m working on a plan, an-”

“Not another word!” Emmett interrupted him, holding up a hand. “I still have nightmares about the last plan you told me about. I think it was the lube…or maybe the candleholder…not sure, but I really don’t have time for therapy this close to the wedding. Rosie would kill me.”

“Shut your pretty mouth,” James said. “I’m talking about the plan to get the Indian princess and loverboy here hitched.”

“What?” I exclaimed, staring at him. The guy really had lost his goddamn mind.

“Bah, don’t tell me the thought hasn’t crossed your mind,” he said with a snort. “You’d make the cutest babies since Brangelina had a go at it. Tell him, Emmett the Stud.”

“First of all, dude – do not call me a stud. My girl packs a mean punch if she doesn’t trip first, so you’d better watch it,” Emmett said, snickering. “But yeah, let’s go for it. Bells deserves a decent guy, and whoever wins her heart will be a lucky motherfucker.”

“Excuse me, I’m standing right here, and I don’t appreciate this bullshit about plans to make me do anything. You can’t just play chess with people,” I said. “The idea would be hilarious if it wasn’t so fucking farfetched.”

James and Emmett looked at me. They were fucking smirking.

“What?” I asked, annoyed. I really did wish the Army had let me keep my rifle.

The fuckers just kept smirking.

I rolled my eyes. The idea of…of…of…it was ridiculous! She was Jake’s sister, for God’s sake. But she sure as hell was pretty. And she showed glimpses of a fascinating personality behind those jabs she kept throwing my way. I couldn’t decide what Jake would have thought about the fact that I was even entertaining the thought of taking an interest in his sister. He would either have been all over James’ plan or shot me pointblank. There was no gray zone. If only she wasn’t so goddamn pretty. Well, actually pretty wasn’t even the right word. She was fucking beautiful. And sexy as hell.

I cleared my throat. “But if I was to win her over, how would I go about that?”

Emmett had to hold on to the countertop, and James’ legs buckled so he ended up on the floor from laughing so much. Bella and the icy Rose turned their heads, and I felt the heat in my cheeks. Fuck me all the way to hell.

Giggling, James stood up, and after a while Emmett stopped guffawing.

“What I meant was tha-” I started, but was interrupted.

“Yeah, we got what you meant,” Emmett said, snickering.

“And we’ll help you out, dollface,” James added.

“But…” I tried.

“First of all, reveal who you are. Bella doesn’t know yet,” Emmett interrupted me again.

“Bella doesn’t know what?” James asked. “Are you some kind of serial killer? Aw, you can’t be! You’re too pretty for that.”

“Shut up, Brokeback. It’s none of your business,” Emmett said.

James crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes. “If the smexy cupcake isn’t who he says he is, then I’m not letting Bella and him get hitched.”

“You’re not letting…?” Emmett snorted. “Look dude, do you really think I’d let Bella anywhere near Edward if I didn’t know for a fact that he’s a good guy? Really, what do you take me for?”

James pouted. “Why can’t I know, then?”

“Ignore him,” Emmett said, turning to look at me. “Bella needs trust, so you have to tell her.”

“It’s not like it’s secret. I just have a hard time talking about Jake, especially if I’m the one who has to bring the subject up,” I said.

“You’re gay!” James said way too loudly.

“Okay, that’s it. No more talking, no more planning, no more nothing. Just serving alcohol. And no, I’m not gay,” I said and went to find someone with a thirst that needed quenching.

“Damn,” James muttered. “I’ll just go rant about not being invited to go dress shopping with Bella and Rose then. It’s like your fiancée doesn’t love me at all anymore, Emmett.”

Later – much later – after one of the longest days in my life, I was getting ready for bed. My real bed. Between emails, phone calls, kindhearted Swans, Bella in all her…glory, and James testing my patience in the worst way, I was beyond exhausted. I was going to sleep and sleep and sleep until I could sleep no more. In a real bed in a real apartment. I couldn’t quite get over that fact. There would be silence, my back wouldn’t hate me for the lack of decent mattresses, and I wouldn’t feel like murdering anyone.

I slid between the sheets and sighed contently. Ahhhhh…

Blessed silence. Nothing but the sound of my own breathing and…loud music was cranked up somewhere. I let out an honest to God sob. Why me? I closed my eyes.

You are my lollipop
Sugar, sugar top
You are my lollipop
Sugar, sugar top

Aqua. Motherfucking Aqua. I knew because I had grown up with Alice, who was all about Toothache Pop.

James was going to die.