Outtake: Sugared Rose

I laughed as I tripped Emmett so he fell headfirst into a row of boxwood outside the diner. The sucker was so easy to mess with when his head was full of my mom’s apple pie.

“Fucking hell, J!” he complained from inside the bushes, scrambling to get on his feet.

I chortled merrily and hurried inside. My dad was behind the counter, and I raised a hand in greeting. I then scanned the rest of the room, finding Bella, Leah, and Rose huddled together in a booth in the back, giggling about something. I had no idea how fourteen year old girls always found something to giggle about, but they seemed to be able to.

The bell on the door behind me chimed, and then I was suddenly on the receiving end of a noogie. Fucking Emmett.

“Ow! Shit, stop that, you moron!” I hissed and shoved him away.

“Jacob! Language,” my mom told me, rushing past me with two trays filled with food. Yum, coleslaw!

“Sorry, Mom,” I said, already wondering if maybe I should get coleslaw instead of apple pie. I’d have both – together – if I didn’t know for a fact that my mom wouldn’t like it.

“Wimp,” Emmett muttered under his breath.

“Asshole,” I shot back, leading the way up the counter.

He chuckled and pushed me junk-first into one of the bar stools at the counter. Motherfucker. I turned around to glare at him, but he just continued his stupid chuckling.

“You’re such a fucki-”

My dad cleared his throat behind me, interrupting me and even killing Emmett’s chuckling. Chastised, I turned around.

“Hey, Dad,” I said and sat down on the stool that had fucking maimed me.

“Jake. Emmett. Nice to see you boys behaving for once,” he said, with narrowed eyes and a scowl on his face. You’d have to know him really well to see the hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

I grinned. “We always behave.”

“What he said,” Emmett said, sitting down next to me. “Say, did Mrs. S make apple pie today?”

My dad sighed. “Emmett, I have no idea why you come in here every damn day asking that same question. When has Sue ever not made apple pie? She knows it would break your heart.”

Emmett beamed. “I wish you and Mrs. S would adopt me. My mom can’t cook for shi– um…at all.”

I snorted. It wasn’t like he didn’t eat at the diner every day after school as well as on the weekends, spent at least a few nights a week at our house, and the guest bedroom wasn’t called the guest bedroom anymore – now it was Emmett’s room. His dad had bailed on him and his mom like fifteen years ago, and his mom was a flake. She had a hard time holding onto a job and drank way too much. Sometimes, she was just as embarrassing as the drunk who hit on my dad at the bar. Gross.

“You don’t look like a starving boy, so I’m sure she cooks just fine,” my dad commented dryly as he carved out two large pieces of my mom’s fuckawesome apple pie. “So how did the biology test go? Are you keeping up your grades? Graduation is only six weeks away now.”

“I fuc– um, freaking nailed it!” Emmett said confidently.

“Jake? How about you?” my dad asked.

I shrugged. “I think I did okay.”

My dad rolled his eyes. “Your enthusiasm for doing well in school takes my breath away, son.”

Emmett chortled and reached for the whipped cream. He liked to murder his pie by drowning it in it. He said it tasted better that way, but in my opinion he was just disrespecting the pie.

I took a bite and hummed in appreciation. “Spot on, Mom!” I yelled out to the back where she was busy cooking up a storm.

She stuck her head out and sent me one of her patented thank-you-dear-but-please-don’t-talk-with-your-mouth-full looks. She had looks down to an art, and I was good at decoding them.

I focused on eating my pie – food was serious business, especially my mom’s food – until Bella hopped onto the stool next to me and shoved her math book up next to my plate.

“Can you help me with this problem?” she asked, wide-eyed, knowing that it would get her anything she wanted.

I hated math, so I really wanted to say no. However, being a big brother was one of my favorite things in the world – I had loved it from the second I had laid my eyes on my tiny baby sister. Bella was four years younger than me, but she was one of my very best friends, and when she looked at me like I was her hero, there was no way I could let her down. Even if it was just a stupid math problem.

“Sure,” I replied, abandoning my pie for a moment.

Luckily it wasn’t like I didn’t know the stuff from eight grade, and Bella was also a smart cookie, so she didn’t need it explained twice. When she’d gotten it, she smiled brightly and jumped down from the stool.

“Thanks, Jake!” she said.

I reached out and ruffled her hair, which made her narrow her eyes and scowl at me. I laughed and turned back to my pie, which turned out to be a really unwise move, as seconds later, Bella yanked my hair.

“Hey!” I complained. Shit. I really needed a haircut so she couldn't do that anymore.

She scampered back to the giggle booth in the corner, and I glared playfully at them, making them giggle even more. Girls – such a mindboggling phenomenon. And based on my dad and Uncle Harry, who had had a long time to figure them out, they remained mysteries forever.

After polishing off two pieces of pie each, Emmett and I went to play soccer with some buddies at the park. Forks High School didn’t have a soccer team, so we played at the park after school. Then sometimes we’d play against some of the kids down from the reservation, which was a lot of fun. I had some good friends down there, but there were also some real assholes that I always went out of my way to tackle the European way – hard. It usually ended up with someone getting into a fight, but it was a lot of fun.

Afterward, I drove Emmett home. He didn’t have his own car although he’d been saving for one since he was fifteen. My dad had given him a job washing dishes at the diner a few afternoons a week, but often Emmett would have to dig into his savings to pay the bills for his stupid mom. He never complained, either, nor did he take my dad up on his offer when he said that he’d lend him the money. Emmett would rather walk or ride his bike than owe people money. I admired him for that and drove him around whenever I could get away with it. Walking was fine, but it sucked getting wet when it rained.

“Dude, Newton’s parents are going away next weekend. He’s getting his big brother to buy beer and throwing a party Saturday,” Emmett said on the way home.

“Awesome,” I said with a nod. “I can’t stay out all night, though. The diner and the bar are like gossip central, so my parents will know that the Newtons are away.”

“Sucks,” Emmett replied, fiddling with the radio. He could do whatever the hell he wanted – it wasn’t like his mom cared when or if he came home. “But we’ll have fun and make sure that you sober up by the time you have to be home. No problemos. I wonder if Jessica will be there. I don’t know when the hell she grew those boobs, but it’s like it happened overnight. I am so getting my hands on those!”

I snorted. A girl could be ugly as sin, but if she had nice boobs, Emmett would all over her. Personally, I liked a pretty smile and a charming personality. Okay, and boobs. Nice legs didn’t hurt either. And a great ass. Sadly, that combination was hard to find in Forks. Emmett definitely had it easier.

I’d sampled quite a bit of the local talent, and I wasn’t impressed. Besides, nothing short of a harem was enough for Jacob Swan. The girls all wanted me – all I had to do was smile at them – so that shouldn’t be too difficult to accomplish. Life was too short to settle for something that you didn’t want. So I’d smile at all the pretty girls in the world and get them all. If that wasn’t ambition, I didn’t know what was.

After dropping Emmett off, I arrived home just in time for dinner. It smelled like we were having roasted chicken. Yum. My favorite. Well, one of my favorites. My mom made it hard to choose.

After dinner, I went to my room to do some homework. I couldn’t wait for graduation. I wouldn’t be touching a book for a very long time after that. I hadn’t applied to any colleges, and it was a foregone conclusion that I was going to join the Army. I just hadn’t actually said it out loud to anyone. I wasn’t sure why – I didn’t doubt that everyone would be supportive, even if they wouldn’t like it. My mom would especially hate it, as it meant that I’d be going overseas eventually. But she’d still be supportive because I had the most awesome mom like that. I was pretty sure that my dad would be proud, and Bella…well, I had no idea how she would react. She was a good kid, though, so she wouldn’t give me too much grief.

Emmett had gotten into the University of Washington, but lately he’d expressed an interest in joining the Army, too. It would be fucking awesome of we could attend boot camp together. Whether or not his mom would be supportive depended on how drunk she was when he told her, but I knew that he’d be getting plenty of support from my parents.

After getting the Army bug out of my body – that was what my dad called his own stint in the Army before he married my mom – I’d come back home and work at the bar. I could take some business classes at the community college in Port Angeles if I needed them, but other than that, I’d be set at the bar. I didn’t have a lot of fancy ambitions about college degrees, careers, or money. That crap just wasn’t me. None of it was necessary to be happy.

Halfway through my homework, I needed a break. I hated being cooped up inside too long at a time, so I needed some fresh air. To my surprise, I found Rose sitting on the porch.

“Hey there, Goldilocks. What are you doing out here?” I asked with a smile and sat down next to her.

I liked Rose. She was hands down the most awkward, shy, and clumsy person I had ever met, but she was also sweet, awfully pretty, and my sister’s best friend. Well, hell. She was my friend, too. My best little buddy. I didn’t get the people who always judged everyone by their age – having friends that weren’t your own age just offered you new and exciting perspectives on life. Among the people I counted as my best friends were a couple of fourteen year old girls, my grandpa, and my parents.

“Your mom said Bella had to finish her essay before she could hang out with me, so I figured I’d just wait out here until she was done,” she said, fidgeting with her sleeves. “Is that okay?”

“Of course it is,” I assured her. “You can go inside, too, if you want. I think Mom’s making cookies.”

“I like it out here,” she said quietly. “It’s more peaceful than my house, you know, with our porch facing Main Street and all.”

I nodded. The Hales were a pretentious bunch, save the shy girl at my side. Her dad was a bank manager and her mom had her own architectural firm in Port Angeles. They were a little too into material possessions and appearances for my taste, and it couldn’t be easy being a clumsy little girl in their house. Rose’s three older sisters had all moved away and gotten married to lawyers and doctors or whatever. Like Emmett, Rose liked to spend time here as often as possible.

“So, are you looking forward to being chased by high school boys next year?” I asked her. “A pretty little thing like you won’t be left alone for a second.”

She blushed furiously. “They won’t notice me,” she said.

“Ha! You’ll be beating them off with a stick. Bella, too. Leah I’m not so sure about because she never knows when to shut up,” I said, snorting.

I didn’t like that my baby sister would be going to high school just as I’d graduated. The only consolation I had was that she could pull hair like nobody’s business and that Rose packed a mean punch for a girl her size. I knew that from experience when I’d played pranks on them.

Rose didn’t reply. She just looked down as she flexed her fingers on one hand. She’d just gotten her latest cast off a few days earlier after breaking two fingers in a gym mishap. The poor girl was always falling down and getting hurt. A few years ago, a new teacher at the school had even suspected her parents of abusing her because she always had bruises.

“You’ll do fine in high school, you know that, right?” I asked.

She shrugged, showing that her confidence was nonexistent.

I sighed inaudibly. “Well, if anyone gives you any crap, you just tell them that you know a big, bad soldier who will come and kick their ass, okay?”

That made her look up. “You’re really going?”

“Yeah. I am,” I confirmed out loud for the first time. “Gotta go where the heart takes you, right?”

“I guess,” she replied hesitantly. “Is it because your dad was in the Army that you want to go, too?”

“It’s part of it, for sure,” I said. “But I also really want to serve my country and help people, you know? Make a difference somewhere for someone. I’m not interested in titles and rank and stuff, so I’m not going to make a career of it, but I think a private makes as much of a difference as a colonel. Besides, could you really see me in college? Apart from the frat parties, of course. I’d rock those suckers.”

She giggled and bit her lip. Then she turned around so she was facing me, her blue eyes looking solemnly at me. “But it’s so dangerous if you go somewhere where there’s a war going on.”

“Someone has to. If they didn’t, the war might come here and hurt or kill all the people we love,” I replied.

“Aren’t you scared at all?”

“Naw,” I said. “Okay, maybe a little. But that’s what basic training is for. They’ll teach me to defend myself and stuff.”

“But what if you die?” she whispered.

I shrugged. I knew I would be risking my life if I went into a warzone, but like I’d just told her – someone had to do it. And I wasn’t afraid of dying. When it was your time to go, there wasn’t much you could do about. Dying while fighting a war didn’t make me anymore dead than if I got hit by a truck or died from cancer right here in Forks.

“If I die, I just hope that I lived all I could while I had the chance,” I said to her.

I leaned back on my elbows and tried to imagine my own funeral. It was fucking difficult. I didn’t want to think about how sad my family would be – that was the worst thing. But if I did die in a war somewhere, I hoped it was after making a difference and that the people I loved were proud of me.

“I want Jeff Buckley’s ‘Hallelujah’ played at my funeral,” I said out loud the moment I thought of it. It felt like planning something that had nothing to do with me – a very weird feeling.

“Jake, please,” Rose begged me.

I turned my head just in time to see her wipe a tear away from her cheek.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Rosie,” I apologized. I tugged her ponytail. “Don’t listen to my crap. I’ll be fine and back here to pull pranks on you in no time. You’ll be so busy swatting away the high school boys that you won’t even notice I’m gone.”

“I’m going to miss you,” she said quietly. “And you have to promise to be careful no matter what the Army wants you to do. My dad once told me about his uncle who was in the Navy and died during a drill.”

“Well, I’m not joining the Navy,” I replied with a grin.

“Jake, be serious!” she said, showing that glorious temper hiding under her shy, awkward façade. She was like a cute, little kitten, and I was immediately chastised.

“Sorry. I promise that I’ll be careful,” I said solemnly, knowing I’d be making that promise to others as well.

“When are you telling Bella that you’re going?” Rose asked next. “She’s been wondering, you know? Your parents already talked to her about it.”

“They have?” I asked, surprised.

She nodded. “Everyone knows you’re going, but you’re the only one who hasn’t talked about it. Bella said that your mom cried a little bit, but she and your dad are both so proud of you. Bella is, too, although she said that she might give you crap about it anyway – said it was her right as your little sister.”

I chuckled. “I’ll talk to her soon. All of them, actually.”

We sat in silence for a while. I could smell the cookies my mom was making, and my dad was mowing the lawn around back. I was going to miss it. Not just the people, but the house, the town, and everything that was familiar. I had never dreamed of big cities and seeing the world – Forks was enough for me. I just had one little thing to accomplish before settling down for real in the best town in the world. I needed to be a soldier.

“Um, Jake?” Rose interrupted my thoughts.

“Yeah?” I replied, sitting back up.

“Emmett is going, too, isn’t he?” she asked timidly. “I heard him mention it to your dad one day.”

I nodded. “I think so. He’s been talking about it. It’s going to be wicked awesome!”

The defeated look on her face told me that she didn’t share my enthusiasm. At all. In fact, had it been any other occasion, I would have taken a crack at her. Rose was nothing but Bella’s friend on Emmett’s radar, but it was suddenly plain as day that on Rose’s radar, the blip Emmett created was as big as his appetite. It couldn’t be easy for a fourteen year old to watch her first crush heading off to join the Army.

“He’s going to be okay, too, you know,” I said.

Her nod was less than convincing, but unless I called her out on what she was obviously feeling, there was nothing I could say.

“If you really have to go away, you have to come back safely,” she said a moment later. “Both of you.”

“I’ll make sure he comes back alive,” I promised her.

Her head whipped around, and she looked at me while the blush rose in her cheeks. She opened her mouth to speak, but promptly shut it again before any words came out. She leaned her head forward so her hair covered her cheeks.

“Both of you,” she implored softly.

“Both of us,” I agreed, smiling to myself.

We sat in silence until Bella burst out through the door. “Finally!” she said exasperatedly. “My essay’s done, so we can go now, Rose. Thanks for waiting.”

“No problem,” Rose replied and stood up, wobbling a little on the steps before she regained her balance.

“Oh, and Mom’s looking for you, Jake,” Bella added as she jumped down the steps in complete contrast to Rose’s wobbling. “She knows you haven’t finished your homework.”

“And how does she know that?” I asked, suspiciously.

“Because I told her,” Bella said, snickering.

“Brat!” I called after her as she and Rose scampered off toward God knew where – probably a giggle convention by the sounds of it.

“Love you, too, Jakey!” Bella yelled back.

I blew out a breath and smiled. It was in her genes to be a brat, and usually when she got other people in trouble. I was the proudest brother in the world. I’d trained my little sister well.

“Jacob!” I heard my mom yell.

“Yes, Mom! Coming!” I yelled back.

At least I was well-prepared to join the Army, having been raised by my very own drill sergeant.