Backfire

“Whoo-hoo!” James cried out, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Take it off and show Daddy the goodies, sweet thing!”

“Oh. My. God,” Rose said, burying her face in her hands. The blush on her face glowed in the dark club. “Why did I agree that he could come again? Seriously, Bella, this is so damn embarrassing.”

I laughed hard at my friend’s discomfort, taking a drink of my mojito. James was standing right next to the stage, waving dollar bills at the male stripper who was wiggling his ass.

It was two weeks before Rose’s wedding, and I had talked her into taking a trip up to Seattle for a bachelorette party. As the maid of honor, it was my duty to make sure my best friend had one last hurrah before she married the big goof a man and my other best friend, Emmett. So I convinced Rose, my mom, Leah, and a couple of other girls Rose and I were friends with to make the trip. I picked Seattle especially for the all-male revue Jessica Newton had mentioned it was coming to a club in Seattle around that time. She and I were still friends even after James had set her up with her current husband, Mike. After that fuckery, I was surprised she still talked to me.

~.~.~.~

Jessica and I had talked about the strip club idea one night when she came into the bar, a few days beforehand. She was practically bouncing in excitement when she showed me the flyer and stated we had to go. I figured, why the hell not? The only man I’d seen naked in the past six months was Edward, and well, I wasn’t opening that can of worms.

While we discussed the particulars of the bachelorette party, James walked by and froze.
“Please tell me you are not planning on going and seeing a bunch of delicious men get naked without inviting me to the festivities,” James whispered, glaring at us.

We both cracked up.

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of seeing male strippers without you, dear.” Jessica patted James’ arm.

“I knew I loved you for a reason, sugar plum,” James said with a wink.

“Hell, maybe one of us single girls will get lucky with one of those hunks,” I stated, waving my hand.

I heard the sound of glass breaking, and I whipped around. Edward was standing off to the side with his hands clenched into fists. He looked as if he was trying to control his temper.

Huh. I wonder why?

“Hey, someone piss in your Cheerios or something?” I asked, perplexed.

“Uh, no,” Edward said with barely repressed anger. “My knee is acting up. I think I need to sit down for a bit.”

He escaped quickly to the back room.

“I’ll be right back. I’m gonna see if the stud pony needs a nurse,” James said and ran off.
Jessica snorted.

“Oh, cherry pie!” James yelled as he walked through the door leading to the back room.

“Holy shit!” Jessica covered her mouth with her hand. “I cannot believe I have been missing out on this. Screw Mike wanting to stay at home all the time. I’m leaving his ass in his recliner, and I’m coming in here more often.”

“What the hell are you yammering about, Jess?”

“That!” she exclaimed, pointing to the back room.

I sighed. “Jess, you have always known James is Looney Tunes.”

“Bella, I am not talking about James. We all know something fell out when he was shaken as a baby. No, I mean the new bartender,” she said as she wiggled her eyebrows.

I felt irrationally jealous at her comment. Damn it, I wanted to be the only one ogling “the new bartender.” The last few days had been crazy. Edward had flirted with anything in a skirt, including Renee’s skanky daughter, Angela. Quite frankly, it was starting to piss me off. I’d thought he was a pretty decent guy, and there he was, giving anything that batted their eyelashes attention. I didn’t like it. Not one bit.

“Oh, don’t think I don’t see that look you’re giving me, Miss Grumpy. All I meant was the hilarious banter between Mr. Hottie and James. I mean, if I didn’t have Mike, I’d be all over that, but I’m a married woman. I’m not a whore,” she explained, shaking her head. “I don’t think I’d stand a chance anyway.”

I looked at her like she was crazy.

“Bella, are you really that dense? That man practically undresses you with his eyes.”

“I’m cutting you off, bitch. Obviously, you’re drunk.”

“Oh my god, you are that stupid!” Jessica said in mock horror.

“Shove it up your ass.” I rolled my eyes.

~.~.~.~

“Oh, come on, Rose,” I placed my chin in my hand. “Let James be a fool. No male stripper will come within a five mile radius if his ass is trying to jump every single one.”

She glared at me.

“Which means.” I raised my eyebrows. “None of us will be able to buy you a lap dance.”

She fucking beamed after that comment, which I knew she would. If Rosalie was uncomfortable about anything, it was men gyrating their hips in her face. We’d tried it once before, on her twenty-first birthday, and all that was accomplished that night was her running away. She also managed to face plant in the parking lot, trying to make her escape. Emmett was pissed when his “Rosie” came home with a broken nose and a black eye. He was even more livid when he found out that I’d dragged her to see male strippers, knowing it made her uncomfortable. Hey, I just wanted her to live a little. So sue me. Needless to say, it took a lot of begging and promises of favors to keep him from letting Rose get her way and stay home.

I have a strong suspicion that I am going to be elbow deep in deer guts on the next hunting trip Dad and Emmett take. I shuddered.

Looking around, I noticed Mom and Leah on the other side of the room. One of the strippers was bent over a chair, and my mom was—oh my fucking god. She was spanking the man with a cheesy fucking grin on her face. Leah was standing at her side, egging her on. I loved Leah like my own sister, but that was just gross. I didn’t know how she could stand there and watch Mom. Then again, her dad was Crazy Uncle Harry. Maybe she was just as fucking nuts as he was.

“Mama Swan, hold him down! I want a turn!” James yelled as he ran over to where my mom and cousin were standing. The scary part was Mom did as he asked, and the poor guy ended up getting slapped on the ass by my best gay friend. Goddamn, they were going to kick us out. I just knew it.

“Show us the cock, baby!” Jessica screamed at the new guy on stage. He sauntered over to her, leaning down so she could tuck a bill in his thong. Bree, our other friend, hollered at the man, and he jumped down from the stage. He began rubbing himself all over her, and she ate it up.

I took another drink and sighed. There were a lot of gorgeous half-naked men walking around the place, and all I could think about was an accidental strip tease back in Forks. Damn Edward and his huge ass dick.

My mother sat down next to me, breaking me out of my thoughts. She leaned back and fanned herself.

“I don’t know about you ladies, but I think it’s a little hot in here. Holy shit.” Mom gazed toward the stage.

“Mother!” I shouted, wide-eyed. “What would Daddy think about you talking like that?”

“Honestly? He’d probably bend me over the kitchen counter—“ Mom started to say.

“Mary had a little lamb. Little lamb. Little lamb,” I started to sing at the top of my lungs while I covered my ears. I didn’t know what had gotten into my mom, but she should have known better than to talk about her sex life. My parents were very open about the subject, much to Jake’s and my embarrassment, and we had always run screaming when it was broached. Why she thought I’d be okay with talking about it was anyone’s guess. I was seriously starting to regret inviting her.

Mom shook her head at me. “Come on, honey. Let’s get some fresh air.”

I stood up, and my mother and Rose followed me outside. We stood up against the brick wall in front of the club. It felt nice out there, and a breeze was blowing.

“So…” Mom said, leaning back.

I looked over at her, wondering what she wanted.

“Are we going to talk about it, or are you just going it ignore it?”

“What?”

“You and Edward. Now, I’ve watched you two dance around each other for weeks. I even know about the fake dating attempt. I just want to know when you are going to realize you’re perfect for each other. I’m not getting younger, and I want grandkids,” she said, looking over at me.

What the hell? I did not want to talk about Edward, however, I knew there was no way to avoid it. I had been lucky she hadn’t brought it up until then. Looks like my luck has abandoned me.

“Oh, I want to know, too. What is going on with you and Edward?” Rosalie asked, sticking her damn nose in the conversation.

“Nothing is going on—we’re just friends. We decided to bond over our mutual loss,” I murmured, unable to look at her.

“You know it’s okay, right?” Mom rubbed my shoulder. “Just because he was friends with your brother doesn’t mean you guys can’t have a relationship. If anything, I think Jake would approve.”

I let her comment sink in. Would Jake have been happy if he was alive? He was the one who had wanted Edward to come to Forks initially. Instead of my parents and me welcoming Edward into our crazy family, I knew it would have been Jake dragging his ass to functions. I wasn’t sure if he would have been fine with Edward and me seeing each other, though. He was Jake’s best friend, for Christ’s sake. Then again, he never did like anyone I had dated in the past. Embry was included in that number. God, I was so confused.

“Maybe? I don’t fucking know, Mom. I don’t think it matters anyway. He’s content to flirt with the population of Forks, so I don’t think he’s interested.” I looked down at the ground.

“I don’t care who he was friends with. I’ll kick his ass,” Rose seethed, walking off. Only, she was in heels, and it made her kind of wobble. Mom grabbed a hold of her, stopping her progress. I could have kissed the woman. I did not need any harm coming to my friend, because her fiancé would turn me into hamburger if it did.

“Settle down there, Rocky. You’re too pretty to hurt yourself,” Mom warned, steering her back toward the club.

“I’ll be fine, Sue.” Rosalie slumped her shoulders.

“Uh huh, sure. Get back inside. I know what you’re really trying to do, and it won’t work. You’re getting married in a few days, and opportunities like this will not come along very often. Enjoy it while you can,” Mom lectured in her “mom” voice.

“Only male I wanna see swing his dick around is my Monkey Man,” Rose muttered as we walked back into the club. Mom and I burst out laughing, because it was so Rose. Girl was a fucking knock out and could have had men drooling at her feet. However, she looked at most of them like they could give her a STD just by staring at her.

The rest of the night, we watched random men shake their junk for cash. Any other time, I’d have been out there with the rest of them trying to cop a feel. I just wasn’t in the mood that night.

We closed the place down, and it was James who took a stripper back to the hotel—much to my embarrassment, and the rest of the girls’ amusement. I was the one who really needed to get laid, but it was Princess Crazy that ended up scoring. Fucking Auburn God-like man who has a cock worthy of praying to.

~.~.~.~

I was fucking fuming.

Edward was, once again, letting the sluts of Forks hang all over him.

We’d come home from the Seattle trip a few days after the strip club. I’d met Edward for breakfast, and we watched my father the next morning in the diner trying to pump Mom for details. The old man was jealous of a bunch of nameless naked guys that had possibly paraded around Mom. She told him that she had sat at the table with Rose and me all night ignoring them, giving me a pointed look as she said it. I knew it meant “keep your yap shut.” I was happy to oblige, because I was afraid of the woman. She could take me out with little effort on her part.

Edward and I had laughed as we ate our breakfast in one of the booths. That was the only time, though, he showed any emotion. The rest of the meal he practically ignored me. My mother’s words didn’t make sense. We were not perfect for each other, because he treated me like I had the plague or something. It was irritating, and I wondered if he was rethinking the whole friendship thing.

“It’s raining men, hallelujah. It’s raining men,” James sang next to me, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“Will you kindly shut the fuck up?” I seethed, feeling my blood pressure rise.

“Oh, don’t hate on me, Indian princess. Just because I got a piece, and you didn’t,” James taunted, grabbing a towel. “Face it…I’m much prettier than you.”

“I’m about to fuck up the pretty—” I said, lunging at him.

Two strong arms grabbed a hold of me, stopping me mid air. I turned my head and saw Edward. I slapped his arm.

“Let go of me. Don’t you have a whore you need to fuck?” I asked, glaring.

Edward released his hold and looked at me, stunned.

“Someone is sexually frustrated,” James sang, wiping down the bar with a towel. “Maybe you should have taken some of that man candy back to the hotel like I did. You’d be less violent, like me. Oh, boy. The things that man did with his tongue!”

“Too much, Jamie-boy,” Edward said with a cringe. “Wait, I thought you planned on taking a stripper home?”

“Are you fucking insane?” I screeched, leaning closer to him.

“Well, you said, and I quote, One of us single girls might get laid,” Edward said in a mocking tone.

“That bomb must have knocked something loose,” I threw my hands up into the air. “Just because I said it doesn’t mean I was going to do it. Besides, James is the only one who actually got laid. The rest of us went back to the hotel and crashed. Believe me, it wasn’t that damn exciting anyway.”

“Oh, I…um…shit,” Edward sputtered, rubbing the back of his neck.

“You know what? Get back to fucking work. Oh, and that doesn’t mean hit on every woman in the bar. You’re paid to pour drinks…not find someone to stick your dick in,” I snapped and turned away from him.

I stomped to the back room to collect myself, leaving Stupid One and Stupid Two to man the bar. The way I was feeling, they could have burned the place down, and I wouldn’t have given a damn. I was very close to torching the place myself.

The sound of howling laughter broke me out of my plans of arson. Dad was sitting on an overturned crate, turning purple. I sighed and went over to him. The man had clearly lost it, and I thought Mom would kick my ass if I didn’t at least see if he was okay.

“I haven’t had this much fun in years,” he spoke through his giggles. “I can’t wait until you two start dating. It’s like a never ending comedy show in here.”

“You do realize that if Mom goes first…I’m putting your ass in a nursing home, right?” I asked, crossing my arms.

That started a whole new round of laughter. Yeah, keep it up. You think I’m kidding. Just wait. You’ll find out one day.

He wiped his eye. “Come on, kid. There are thirsty people waiting for us.”

He threw his arm over my shoulders and steered me back out front. While I was having my near breakdown, the place had become packed. Edward and James were running around trying to serve everyone. Why in the hell were they trying to do all the work themselves? Didn’t these fuck nuts think to come get me? Oh, yeah. They probably didn’t want to get their dicks ripped off. My bad.

~.~.~.~

The next night, the bar was closed for The Epic Night of Debauchery or, as the rest of us called it, Emmett’s bachelor party. Since I had taken Rose out for a night of male strippers, Emmett thought it was only fair he get to see some titties, as he said. I told him he was an idiot and a pig, deciding to have a slumber party with Rose at my apartment.

Really, though, I knew Emmett had planned on having the parties on separate nights. He didn’t want to be drunk and unable to come get his girl if she needed him. I busted his chops a lot, but in all honesty, Emmett was a stand up guy. He treated my best friend like she was the most precious thing in the world. He even told her he was going to be picturing her in place of the strippers when she voiced her concerns about him going. Sigh. My best friend had hit the jackpot in the man department, and I knew no one deserved it more than Rosalie.

“What do you think the boys are doing right now?” Rose chewed on her thumbnail.

I sighed. “They’re probably knee deep in ass and tits. Hell, I don’t know. Do you really want to know?”

“No, not really. You’re right. It’s better to not know,” Rose nodded and stared off into space.

I laughed. We were sitting on my living room floor watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Benicio Del Toro and Johnny Depp were running around like fools on the small screen, and I wondered where James was. The diva had promised me some chocolate covered peanuts, and if his bitch ass didn’t deliver them soon—well, there’d be no more strippers in his future. I was castrating him.

“Aw, quit locking the door,” James’s muffled voice sounded from the other side of the door.

“Well, maybe if you learned what the word privacy meant, I’d stop using the deadbolt,” I teased, getting up to let him in.

He walked through the door humming to himself, dressed in pink bunny slippers and a silk robe. I shuddered, because I was sure he didn’t have anything on underneath it. James had no shame when it came to nudity, and I’d stumbled in on him a couple of times in the buff. I was surprised that I hadn’t been sent to a mental institution yet.

“Here is your candy, Indian princess,” he said, handing me a bag. “And beautiful Rose, I got you some gummy bears.”

She blushed and took his offering from him. It was then I noticed he was carrying that damn purple suitcase with him, as well.

“James,” I whined. “No more baby clothes, damn it. You know we’re not sleeping together. Enough is enough.”

“While I’m glad you’re finally admitting you’re a big fat liar,” he said with a glare, “I didn’t bring them. I brought things to dress up Rose in. So shoo, you cow.”

“One of these days, James, I’m going to turn the gas on in your oven and leave it. Maybe you’ll suffocate in your sleep. You’re not the only one who knows how to pick a lock,” I warned with a sarcastic smile.

“Promises. Promises. Anyway, I’m about to make your friend a knockout. Come on, Rose.” James motioned toward my bedroom.

“I am not your personal Barbie doll,” Rosalie argued in a weak voice.

“Hush.” James put his finger up to his lips. “You look just like one, and my momma wouldn’t let me play with them when I was little. Stupid old heifer. So, you need to help me fix that tragedy.”

Rose hung her head. “Fine.”

My best girlfriend was too nice of a person, and James had just used that to his advantage. However, I was a bitch, so I was about to be a good friend. I was taking one for the team.

“James, knock it off. You know how uncomfortable Rose gets. Just…do whatever to me,” I said, cringing.

“Well, had you taken my advice and jumped on the perfection that lives next door to you, we could be getting ready to pick out your perfect wedding night outfit. However, since you continue to live in denial…no fashion show for you.” James was pushing it, and if he didn’t knock off the taunting, I was going to make good on my threat to cut up his clothes.

“Seriously? We’re still on this?” I asked, wishing he’d just let it go.

“Yes, my dear, we are. We will be on this, as you put it, until you face the fact you want to ride his Tilt-a-Whirl. Oh, and don’t forget, have his gorgeous soldier babies and live happily ever after,” James said with a smile.

“Listen here, pain in my ass. I don’t…fuck,” I said, throwing my head back and looking up at the ceiling. I could not believe I’d just said that.

James squealed, bouncing up and down. “I knew it! I knew it!”

For the next half hour, I had to endure a James that pranced around my living room singing, You want to hug him. You want to kiss him. You want to fuck him. You want to marry him. You want to have his god-like babies.

Honestly, I was about to find a gun and shoot myself or him. It didn’t matter which of us died. I just wanted to be free of the madness.

While I hadn’t admitted it in so many words, he was fucking right. Stupid observant gay man.There was something about Edward that made me want to risk getting hurt again. He was the exact opposite of my worthless ex—kind, caring, strong, loyal, and fuck hot. I wasn't sure if I loved him, but I knew that if I opened myself up, I could very easily.

The problem was that he’d turned into a somewhat ladies’ man. I didn’t think he was taking the skanks back to his apartment. The walls were thin, and I would have heard that shit. And…probably committed a murder or two the morning after. Not gonna lie.

So…I had no idea what to do. The first time, in a long time, I was actually interested—I was at a total loss.

“You win. Quit bouncing around like a toddler on a sugar high,” I said, sighing.

Rose giggled. “Oh, God. I thought you’d never admit it.”

“I just possibly saved you from parading around in lingerie. Don’t make fun of me,” I whispered in a lethal tone.

She sobered up. Good girl.

“I’m so happy.” He clasped his hands together. “You two will look so good together. So much better than that whore Angelina that stole Brad away. Jennifer was so much prettier.”
“Focus, you strawberry Pop-tart,” I said, snapping my fingers in his face. “I’m actually going to discuss my love life with you. I’d quit worrying about your disturbing obsession with celebrities if I were you.”

“Lack of love life,” James muttered under his breath.

“You know, I’m about to kick you out. And then I’ll never share anything with you, especially if I actually start dating Edward.” I narrowed my eyes at James.

“Okay, okay. You’re right,” James admitted. “When you finally do the horizontal tango, I have to have details. I’ll be good.”

“Horizontal tango?” Rose bit her lip.

“Yeah, sex...bumping uglies…fucking…stuffing the sausage…” James said, rambling on.

“Last chance, disco queen!” I crossed my arms and tapped my foot.

“Sorry, sorry,” James said, apologizing.

“I’m so glad Emmett decided to have his bachelor party tonight. Missing this would have been tragic,” Rose said with a snort.

“Anywho,” I said, starting to get annoyed with the two people I thought of as best friends. “How am I going to get his attention away from his horde of admirers? He is obviously not interested in me.”

I was whining, and it was pissing me off.

“Well, I think I have the perfect idea.” James smirked.

~.~.~.~

It was official. The fucking fairy was going to die.

I didn’t know how he had talked me into wearing a short jean mini skirt, tight black t-shirt, or thigh-high boots with a three inch heel, but I was blaming my desperation. That, and the fact I was trying to be the bestest friend in the universe by distracting James from Mission Dress Up Rosie as a Tart.

Bitch better love me. That’s all I’m saying.

Dad had another good laugh at my expense when I stumbled into work in these death traps five minutes late. I tried to explain that time had gotten away from me.

Okay, so I was checking myself out in the mirror in my closet. Nothing wrong with being a little vain every now and then.

When I entered the main area of the pub, the whore patrol was already out in full force. Almost all of the most notorious sluts in Forks were gathered around Edward, including Miss I-Suck-Cock-for-a-Living herself—Angela. She was running her hand over his bicep, and he looked like he was enjoying it. Hell, he hadn’t even noticed I’d walked in. I decided right then and there I was not going to let the bastard get to me. I looked good, and I was going to get my flirt on. Fuck this.

I sauntered up to the bar and began taking orders. I smiled, flirted, and even laughed at a few lame jokes told by the male customers. It felt good to have some attention on me. Even if a certain someone was blind as a bat.

Not long into the shift, though, that changed.

“B-bella,” Edward said, looking at me in shock.

“Oh, hi,” I said, bending over to get a bottle from the bottom shelf.

“Are you fucking insane?” he hollered, standing behind me. “What the hell are you wearing?”

“Oh, this old thing,” I said, tugging on my shirt. “Well, James said I looked smoking in it, and I figured what the hell.”

“I’m going to kill that sideshow freak,” he said through clenched teeth. “James!”

James appeared beside me as I straightened up. “You called, snicker doodle?”

“What the fuck is this?” Edward yelled, pointing at me. I mashed my lips together, trying not to laugh.

“Bella here wouldn’t let me help Rosie pick out the perfect wedding night ensemble. Apparently, dressing in lingerie embarrasses her. So, I had to go with Plan B. My girl here needs to start dating again. I figured wearing the perfect outfit that shows off all her assets would help.” James put his arm around my shoulders.

Edward closed his eyes and looked like he was about to have an aneurysm. “A word in back, now.”

He turned on his heel and marched to the back room. James followed behind, staring at his ass.

Huh. Maybe he wasn’t as unaffected as I had thought. I was going to have to store that information for later.

I went back to work, helping Charlie give the thirsty customers their alcohol. A few minutes later, Edward and James returned, jumping right in. The rest of the night, I had to watch Edward with his fan club and try to avoid the advances of my own one growing.

I was going to kill James for talking me into wearing this get up. For real. I should have thrown out those stripper boots from the sixties g0-go dancer Halloween costume James forced me into the previous year. But I didn’t…and I ended up having to wear them. Again.

Jessica, true to her word, came into the bar later on. Only, she had dragged Mike along with her. He was pouting, but she ignored him and sat down on a stool at the bar.

“Fuck me blind, Bella! You look hot!” Jessica yelled, eyes looking like they’d fall out of her head.

“I know, right? Maybe I should let the psycho fairy dress me more often, huh?” I set a tequila sunrise in front of her.

“Now, Bella, you should be ashamed of yourself. You know that James has always had good fashion sense.” Jessica gave me a pointed look.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell her. But…does she listen? Oh, no.” James stuck his hip out, placing his hand on it.

“Stuff it,” I said, walking off.

Somehow, Charlie ended up working with James at the other end of the bar. Which meant I was stuck with Edward and his band of hoochies. Oh, fucking joy.

“Oh, you look so strong. I bet you’re ripped,” I heard Angela say in that baby voice of hers.

“Um, kind of.” Edward kept his attention on the drink he was making. “When you’re in the Army, they expect you to be in top shape.”

Angela laughed her high pitched laugh, making me roll my eyes. God, what in the hell did he see in her…other than an orifice to get off in. She was not much better than a blow up doll with her dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks personality. Ugh.

Then again, maybe that was all he wanted. Someone he didn’t give a damn about to take care of his needs. If that was the case, I was the wrong girl for the job. Maybe I should just give up already. Okay, I was not going to do that. I didn’t wear these uncomfortable as fuck boots for nothing.

I was in fucking agony watching Angela try to stake her claim on Edward on the inside but had plastered on a big smile on the outside. Why is this so fucking hard? I mean, my crush on him wasn’t that big of a deal. He was a grown man and could flirt or even fuck…God, that hurt just thinking it.

As I was walking back to the bar with a bottle of whiskey in my hand, it hit me like a fucking freight train. The reason why it hurt so bad to watch him flirt with all these other girls was—I was in love with him.

The realization made me drop the bottle in my hand. It shattered into a millions pieces on the floor, and I stood frozen with my wide eyes glued to Edward.

This cannot be happening.


Love? Do I really love him?


Fuck, I really, really do.


I am so fucked, it is not even funny.

By the time my brain had started working again, Edward was standing in front of me freaking out. His hands were fluttering all around me trying to snap me out of my frozen state. If I wasn’t having a mini panic attack, I would have made fun of him.

“What’s wrong, Bella?” Edward’s voice rose. “Is that fuck, Embry, here? I swear, if he’s shown his ugly face, I’ll end him. I don’t care about going to jail, either. It would be so worth it to get just one hit in.”

“What?” I asked, finally coming out of my mental haze.

“You dropped the bottle. Last time you did that…” Edward said, letting the sentence hang in the air.

“Huh? Oh! No, I didn’t see that bastard.” I wrinkled my brow.

“Then, why—” he started to say.

I cut him off, grabbing his hand. “Come with me for a minute.”

I had decided I wasn’t going to skirt around what I was feeling any longer. I had always been a take-charge kind of girl. Embry had made that part of me go into hiding with his douche bag tendencies, but I was going to let her out. It was time.

I dragged Edward into the back room by his hand, and the confusion on his face was plain. Once we were out of sight, I pulled his head down to mine by his hair and smashed our lips together. For a moment, he just stood there as I moved my mouth over his. It was kind of disappointing, until he started kissing back.

As our lips moved together, I felt his hands grab the backs of my thighs and then I was in the air. I grabbed onto his hair tighter, giving it a light tug. He moaned, opening his mouth a little bit. I pushed my tongue into his mouth, and he began massaging it with his own.
He tasted like peppermint, a hint of whiskey, and all man. It was a heady mixture that was making me lose myself. Never before had kissing felt that good.

My back hit something hard, and our kissing intensified. His entire body was pressed up against mine, and he felt wonderful. The need to breathe became too much, and I had to pull away. I mourned the loss as he removed his lips.

He placed his forehead against mine. “What was that for?”

“I’ve decided to act on my attraction for you. Is that a problem?” I asked innocently, batting my eyelashes.

“Oh, fuck no. I was about to go tell James to fuck himself and ask you out.”
“Huh?”

“James said that the best way to get your attention was to make you jealous,” he admitted, setting me down on the floor.

“Seriously? I was about to spend the rest of my life in prison for murdering Angela the skank. Word of advice…do not listen to that cream puff.”

“What was this, then?” He pointed to my clothes.

I sighed. “James’ idea. In my defense, though, there was no plot to make you jealous. Just get your attention.”

“Uh huh.” He eyed me up and down. “You’re not allowed to wear shit like this in public anymore.”
“Well, you can’t flirt anymore.” I crossed my arms.

“Works for me,” he agreed immediately. “If that girl had touched me one more time, I was gonna throw up on her.”

He shuddered playfully, making me laugh.

“Let’s get back out there before James comes looking for us.” The last thing I needed was the cracked-out fairy finding us in a compromising position.

“Wait,” Edward said, pulling on my arm.

“Yes?”I tilted my head to the side and stared at him.

“So, um,” he said, nervously running his hand through the hair on his neck. “Fuck, I have no idea what you people do around here for a date.”

Edward looked so frustrated. It was cute, and I decided to help him out.

“I need a date to the wedding. Interested?”

“Emmett already invited me,” he said with a pout.

“So, we can still go together. I’m the maid of honor, but since Charlie’s the best man, it’s not like I’m going to hang out with him all night.”

“True,” he said, breaking out that crooked smile that made me want to drop to my knees and blow him. Fuck, I was so sex starved, it wasn’t even funny.

“Besides, you can sit with my mom during the ceremony. Dad would appreciate it, because Mom has a few admirers of her own. That way, he won’t be arrested for kicking someone’s ass,” I said with a laugh.

“Okay, I’ll go. Although, that means you’re the one technically asking me out now. God, I am horrible at this dating thing.”

I smiled at him. “I’m not that great either. My usual way of talking to a man is to make him want to cry. We’ll just be horrible together.”

He laughed and pulled me to the entrance to the bar. We both stopped quickly when we saw who was blocking our path. Motherfucking James.

He leaned against the doorframe, inspecting his nails. “I always knew you’d be a hot couple. But did you want to listen to me? Oh, no. You were both convinced that the other didn’t like you. As thanks for getting you two together, I’d like for you to name your first born James, if it’s a boy. If it’s a girl, well, Jamie works for me.”

And then he turned and walked back into the bar.

“We’re not having kids.” Edward shook his head. “That nut job will fuck them up.”

“Agreed. It will be worth it just to crush his dream,” I whispered, leaning close to him.

He pecked me on the lips and went back to work. I followed, trying to think of a way to pay back James for eavesdropping.

His nosy ass was going down.