Chapter 19

“Dude, do you realize you just managed to say my wife four times in one sentence? That shouldn’t even be possible. Besides, we get it. She’s your wife. You’re married. You got hitched. She’s stuck with you forever. The concept isn’t that foreign to us, although it’s been six whole weeks since we went through the experience ourselves,” Emmett said, rolling his eyes.

“Seven,” Rose interjected.

“What?” Emmet asked, turning his head to look at her.

“It’s been seven weeks since we got married,” she replied, narrowing her eyes a little.

“Oh. Well, time flies when you’re having fun,” Emmett said, chuckling, before he turned back to look at me. “Anyway. My point is that we got it the first time you told us. And if we hadn’t, I’m sure the bigass banner above the bar, the notification in the mail, the emails, the four million texts, or the ad in the newspaper would have tipped us off. Speaking of which, does James even know that he wasn’t the one getting married? He acts like he doesn’t know.”

I grimaced. I was doing my best to avoid James these days. Whenever he saw Bella or me, he attacked us with a million new ideas for the reception. The crazy bastard even carried around a binder everywhere he went for all his shit. I was a little afraid.

“Please don’t say his name out loud,” I begged. “He might come running with more insane suggestions. By now he might have recovered from the tongue lashing Bella gave him when he suggested that we have a Disney themed reception. She didn’t take it well when he said he wanted to dress her up as some princess in a dress that contained about half a mile of that stuff that makes dresses all poofy.”

Rose snorted and then blushed, hiding her face in her hands for a moment. “What I meant to say was that Bella would kill James before he even got near her with the tulle,” she said. “Did you know that for Emmett’s and my wedding, James suggested a pirate theme because he thinks Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp look hot as pirates?”

“I’m not surprised,” I replied. “He’s presented us with a million ideas for the reception so far, and they keep getting crazier. Cruise ship, a disco theme, ice sculptures, a luau – hell, he even wanted me to wear tights for some renaissance-theme thing. Plus, with the time the planning takes, the actual reception won’t be until sometime next decade.”

Rose and Emmett’s attempt not to laugh was interrupted by a piercing scream. I was instantly on high alert, but it didn’t take me many seconds to realize that the high-pitched scream didn’t come from Bella. The reception planner extraordinaire was balancing on a stool, letting out sounds that probably made more sense to dogs than to humans.

“If you don’t shut up right now and tell us what’s wrong, I’ll get Edward to do a soldier-ninja trick or whatever that will result in your neck being broken,” Bella warned after asking him three times what was wrong without receiving an answer.

My wife was fucking awesome. She wasn’t the most patient person, and pregnant she was even more impatient. This was great when it was James getting chewed out, but not so much when it was my ass dragging.

“I saw a…ewwww! And it was big and…and…and…hairy!” he screeched, waving his arms around so much that he nearly fell off the stool.

“If you don’t wanna see it, then stay out of my pants,” Emmett hollered.

I bit my tongue so I wouldn’t laugh. Rose smacked him, and Bella sent him a glare that could have marked the beginning of a new ice age. James’ eyes glazed over for a second, and we all rolled our eyes. Then he started screaming again – at least until Bella punched him in the arm. Most awesome wife ever.

“It was a mouse!” he exclaimed. “Please, please, please, someone kill it! It’s right over there under that table. It’s looking at me!”

“That’s not a mouse,” Rose said, getting up.

She went over to the table James had pointed at and picked up the alleged mouse. James screamed again.

“It’s a rabbit foot,” she said. “You know, for good luck.”

James gaped before turning a bright shade of red. He muttered something while the rest of us laughed. I vowed to get him his very own rabbit foot for Christmas. Or ten.

The rest of the night was enjoyable. Not just because James was uncharacteristically quiet, but also because I loved it when Emmett and Rose were at the bar. There was a lot of wedding talk for obvious reasons. Their wedding had been great, but I didn’t regret how Bella and I had done things. More importantly, I knew that she didn’t regret it either. Low key, out of order – whatever. We were married, happy, and expecting a child. I was a husband, and soon I’d be a father. It was mindboggling, but at the same time I was genuinely happy. I was nervous about being good enough, but not afraid. When it came to being a husband and a father, I had the best role model I could have ever asked for in Charlie. Being a better father than my own would be easy, and I would strive to be as good as Charlie.

There was only one thing I needed to correct about the out of order way Bella and I had gone about everything. I needed to officially live with my wife. That wasn’t too much to ask, right? I didn’t know what she wanted, and I didn’t care where we lived as long as it was together. One of our apartments would even do if it wasn’t for the fact that we would run out of room as soon as the baby arrived. I had money for a house if that was what we decided. Not only had I only spent a minimal amount of money on myself every month since I’d joined the army, but I had also received a significant inheritance. My grandfather had died when I was fourteen, and the money he had left Alice and me had been invested and put away until we turned twenty-one. I hadn’t spent any of it yet.

When I asked Bella about our living situation the following morning, she looked pensive. “Is it weird that I don’t feel ready to leave this place yet? I mean, I know that we will need – and want – a house eventually when we get the million kids your stupid super sperm will make sure that we’ll have, but right now…I don’t know. Can’t we stay here?”

“We both have one bedroom apartments, baby. There isn’t enough room,” I said, deciding not to comment on the stupid super sperm. “Well…unless…maybe it’s possible to knock down a wall between our apartments and do some remodeling. I don’t know. But we could check it out. We’ll need your dad’s permission, of course.”

“We can ask him about it,” she suggested, eagerly. “I’m sure he won’t mind, and he did most of the work himself on Upstairs and Downstairs. Even if that was a long time ago, he still knows what he’s talking about. And Mike can get the job. He owns his own construction company, you know. He owes me for making me go to prom with him.”

“What? You went to prom with Mike Newton? I’m not sure I like that,” I said.

Bella snorted. “Don’t worry, I didn’t like it either. For Jessica’s sake, I hope he’s a bit livelier now, because back then he was the most boring date in the world. He spent the whole night sitting on his ass drinking spiked punch.”

“You’ll get no sympathy from me, especially when the alternative is that he could have had his hands all over you the entire night.”

She laughed. “You’re adorable when you’re jealous – even if you have absolutely no reason to be.”

I wasn’t sure how I felt about being adorable, but I supposed I could live with it. I suggested we go down to talk to Charlie about the apartments, and a few hours later everything was planned out in detail. Mike was starting the work the following day – either knowing that he owed Bella or just feeling the financial crisis and not having anything else lined up. Bella and I were going to stay with Sue and Charlie for a while. James got the offer, too, so he wouldn’t be bothered by the workers and the noise, but he claimed that he wasn’t going anywhere. He had gotten into his head that all construction workers were sweaty, worked without a shirt, and looked like models. I just hoped that he didn’t scare them away before they’d finished the job.

Charlie and I got into a debate about who was paying for it all. I figured that since it was Bella and me who wanted the remodeling done, I should be paying, but he insisted that he should be the one to do it since it was his building. He told me to look at it as a wedding present. When I still protested, he threatened to get Sue involved in the discussion. The man played seriously dirty because no one ever got what they wanted if Sue wanted something different. And he was confident that she would side with him.

***

I smiled at Renee as I served her martini. I was getting good at remembering the regulars’ usual drink choices, but Renee never ordered the same thing. Grabbing some empty glasses from the counter, I spotted Bella bending down to get a large box of napkins. I knew from experience that they were heavy as hell, so I instantly freaked and rushed over to her.

“No lifting,” I reminded her.

She stood back up and rolled her eyes at me. “Why is it you think that I would deliberately endanger our child?”

“I don’t think that,” I defended myself. “But maybe you forgot? Or something…”

“Forgot that I was pregnant??” She snorted. “Right. Because between you freaking, my mom fussing, and James squealing, I have tons of time to forget. And that’s not even counting the morning sickness, or the fact that I am as excited about this kid as you are. Try again, soldier boy.”

“Um…” She had an annoyingly good point.

She smirked. “Yeah, I thought so. Besides, the box is empty.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.” She took a step closer to me and hooked a finger in my jeans pocket. “It was adorable the first couple of times, but BC won’t be here for months, so please cool it before we both go insane. The next time you see me lifting something, you can safely assume that it’s not something heavy. I have absolutely no problems making all you manly men my bitches for the manual labor.”

“But it’s my job to worry and freak out,” I objected. “You carry BC, and I freak. That’s the deal. What else am I going to do?”

She giggled and shook her head. “You got that all wrong. Your job is to go out at two in the morning when I get weird cravings, to rub my feet, and to tell me I’m pretty when I look like a whale with cankles.”

“Should I be taking notes?” I asked.

“Nah, I’ll remind you,” she assured me.

“You forgot one very important thing, though,” I told her, leaning down to kiss her even though I probably shouldn’t since we were working. “At all times, I need to be loving you. If I don’t, then nothing matters.”

“Sap,” she said with a slight sniffle before reaching up on her toes to give me a kiss.

It became clear that we had taken the kiss a bit too far when James started yelling that tickets to the show cost ten bucks. Bella threw the empty box at him and disappeared into the office, leaving me alone with the diva, who felt the overwhelming need to tell me that he had taken up knitting to prepare for Baby Cullen. It was actually sweet of him, but when he told me that he was knitting pink dresses for my son, it stopped being sweet.

“My son won’t be wearing dresses,” I told him.

“No, your daughter will,” he corrected me with a smirk.

“I’m not having a daughter, I’m having a son,” I stated.

He narrowed his eyes. “You don’t know that.”

“Of course I do. I’m the father.”

“Well, I’m the auntie, and I say girl.”

“Boy. And you can’t be the aunt. If anything, you’re the uncle,” I protested.

“Screw that. I’m the auntie, and I’m having a niece,” he stated and crossed his arms over his chest. “Nothing you say can convince me otherwise.”

“You’re going to look extremely stupid with a bunch of pink clothes for a boy,” I said, shrugging.

“You wanna bet?” he asked.

“You want to bet on my unborn child? What the hell is wrong with you?”

He cackled. “Too chicken to put your money where your mouth is, sweet cheeks?”

Damn. I walked right into that one.

“Five hundred bucks says it’s a boy,” I said.

“You, butter balls, are on!”

I reluctantly shook his hand. I did believe that Bella and I were having a boy, although I had no idea why I thought so. Betting on it was a different matter, though. I’d have to buy Bella something nice with the money when I won. Buttering her up wouldn’t hurt. That thought sent my mind right into the gutter, and I didn’t come back up until I’d walked into the counter, whiskey bottle first, and broken the bottle. I was still holding the neck, and the shards tore into my hand.

“Fucking hell!” I swore, dropping it and reaching for a dishtowel. In the process, I twisted my knee because I’d stepped on the broken glass that slid across the floor under my foot. “Goddamn!”

I grabbed onto the counter with my uninjured hand and righted myself. When I put weight on my leg, my knee protested loudly, but I did my best to ignore it until I’d at least gotten hold of the dish towel for my hand. Blood was already dripping on the floor, and it was causing my mind to drift back to a certain day in April when I had last seen blood being spilled.

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Are you okay?” James yelled, rushing over. Then he spotted the blood and turned pale. “Oh no. I’m not very good with blood…gah, the smell…Bellaaaaaaaa! SOS! Mayday, mayday!”

I rolled my eyes and wrapped my hand in the towel. Leaning against the counter so I didn’t have to put any weight on my bad leg, I sighed. From the very first night at the bar I had expected accidents, but I’d thought I was past my clumsy phase. Limping over to get the broom, I started to sweep the glass up. I’d have to mop up the whiskey afterward.

Before I could get very far, Bella came out from the office. Her eyes widened when she saw James sitting on a chair with his head between his legs and me sweeping up glass. I just smiled sheepishly at her.

“What the hell are you two doing?” she asked.

“Blood and…ugh,” James muttered.

“Blood?” she asked, zeroing in on my hand.

“I accidentally broke a bottle against the counter and cut myself,” I explained. “The brave diva isn’t very good with blood.”

“Mister ass squeeze also hurt his leg,” James tattled on me, still doing breathing exercises that would make any Lamaze coach proud. “And please, for the love of gorgeous men everywhere, get the blood cleaned up. I’m dying here!”

“Why don’t you go outside, James?” Bella suggested.

She then made me sit down while she inspected my hand and reached for the first aid kit under the counter. “I can’t leave you alone for two seconds, can I? What happened to your leg?”

“I twisted my knee when I stepped on the slippery glass. It’s nothing a little Tylenol won’t fix. It hurt the same way back when I used to spend most of my days driving around,” I replied. “Listen, you really don’t have to do this. I can take care of it.”

She looked up, surprised. “What makes you think that I don’t want to take care of you? You’re not the Lone Ranger anymore – you’re a husband. My husband. So sit still while I clean up this cut.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I replied, feeling the need to pinch myself even though the pain in my hand and knee clearly told me that I wasn’t dreaming or imagining the wonderful woman wearing my ring. She was right. I wasn’t alone anymore, but the sight of blood had taken me back to a time where I had been – if not alone, then at least without people in my life who cared.

“And sorry,” I added, flinching as she cleaned the cut. “I just had a little flashback when I saw the blood.”

The look she sent me told me that she understood, and she didn’t ask me to elaborate. She just bandaged my hand ad sealed it with a kiss. Much better.

“Are you sure your knee is going to be okay? James can close up so I can take you to the ER to get it looked at,” she fretted.

“I’m fine. Promise,” I replied. “Thanks for taking such good care of me.”

She didn’t look convinced. “You’re staying on your ass until I can take you home.”

“No way. I’m cleaning this shit up. Go back to whatever you were doing. James will be back in to help me with the last customers.”

Bella laughed and patted my cheek. “Not happening. I can pull the boss card, the wife card, and the emotional pregnant woman card, so don’t think you’re winning. You’re a bright boy – you know you won’t stand a chance anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’ve got more cards than I do, but I’m still stronger,” I said. “I’m helping you.”

She frowned. “Figures I’d marry someone as stubborn as myself.”

Chuckling, I pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. Just thinking about my marriage or someone mentioning it did funny things to my insides. I was very much in awe of the fact that the kindest, sexiest, most beautiful, and most inspiring woman in the world was my wife.

I finished sweeping the floor and threw away the broken glass. Bella mopped up the whiskey while I tried to look like my knee wasn’t killing me with each step I took. James came in after a while looking less pale than he had before.

“Is the blood gone?” he asked.

“Yes,” Bella replied. “Wimp.”

“I am not – take that back!” he objected. “It’s not my fault you can’t smell it.”

The pretty firecracker and I might not have been together long, but we did have the coordinated eye roll down pretty well. It seemed to come naturally with James around.

Eventually, Bella went back to the office, and I started tidying up as closing time was approaching. It had been an extremely slow night, and I was looking forward to getting out of there.

“Why are you hiding the fact that your knee is bothering you?” James asked as soon as Bella was gone.

“It’s not a big deal,” I replied and swallowed two Tylenol with a sip of water to prove myself wrong. I didn’t like to make a huge issue out of something I couldn’t change anyway – the pain was there every day whether I complained about it or not.

“Whatever you say, hero, but when Bella finds out that you’re downplaying it, she’ll have your ass,” he said. “Which is so not fair because I want your ass, too.”

I cringed, but did my best to ignore his last comment. “Seriously, my knee isn’t worse now than it is every morning. So while I appreciate the concern, it’s all fine.”

“Muffin cup, you need to learn to fear your wife,” he said, snickering. “Isn’t that what all good husbands do?”

“Dude, the day I start taking marital advice from you is the day I chop off my left ear and join a marching band,” I told him.

“I’ll be there to take pictures,” he promised me in turn.

Just as I was convinced that the night would never end, closing time rolled around. James went upstairs after we’d finished cleaning up, and I went into the office to see if Bella was ready to head over to her parents.

I found her asleep at the desk. Again. I really needed to have a talk with Charlie about her working so late. Maybe between the two of us, we could make her see reason. Or better yet – we could make Sue see our point and let her deal with Bella. Sue was awesome that way. If they sent her to Afghanistan, there’d be peace in a week.

I put on my jacket and pulled Bella’s around her shoulders. I grabbed her bag, and ignoring my protesting knee, I picked her up. Turning off the lights on my way, I carried her outside to the car. Opening the door was difficult, but I managed without waking up my sleeping beauty. When I’d stealthily secured the seatbelt around her, I went back to lock up the bar.

I managed to drive almost all the way to Sue and Charlie’s house without waking Bella up. Unfortunately, then one of the town’s few police cruisers just had to blaze right by us on the way toward La Push with the siren wailing.

“Damn. Are you part ninja?” Bella asked, blinking her eyes fully open.

I chuckled. “No. You must have been really tired.”

“I guess so,” she said, yawning. “Did you lock up?”

“No, I thought I’d leave the door open if anyone got thirsty during the night,” I replied. “That’s why I also left the light on and the cash register open. That way people can just throw in money for the drinks they make themselves.”

“Smartass,” she muttered, sleepily.

“That’s what you get for falling asleep at work. See what I’m saying about you working there?” I asked. “I really think you should conside-”

“Ahem,” she interrupted. “Who was it that got hurt tonight? Remind me, please?”

I sighed as I turned into the driveway. Sue had left the porch light on for us, which made me love her even more. “I blame you for that, you know,” I told Bella.

“Me?” she asked, choking on a laugh as she untangled herself from the seatbelt. “How is your clumsiness my fault?”

“Because I was busy thinking about buttering you up,” I replied, chuckling, and exited the car before she say anything.

When I came around to open the passenger door, she was smirking at me. “Blame me all you want, butter boy, but do you know what I call it?”

“Enlighten me,” I said with a smirk, offering her my hand as she got out of the car.

“Karma, my dear husband. You’ve been bugging me about quitting the bar since I told you I was pregnant, and now the universe replied to you,” she said. “Not happening. It doesn’t hurt anyone if I take a nap in the office once in a while. Besides, who’s going to clean your cuts the next time you go all butter mind on us? James is just going to faint, you know.”

“We’ll resume this conversation once I’ve either come up with some solid points or made your mom help me convince you,” I told her.

“You fight dirty. You’re lucky I love you.”

“So true,” I agreed, grinning.

***

Thanksgiving rolled around while we were staying with Sue and Charlie. Upstairs and Downstairs were both closed, and Sue had taken Bella hostage in the kitchen where they were cooking up a storm. It was still early in the day, and I was shuffling around without anything to do. Charlie had shut himself in his office doing God knew what, and everyone else wasn’t set to arrive until later.

I sat down in a large, comfortable chair in the living room and looked out at the rain beating against the patio. A year ago, I had been looking at the dust. And choking in it…getting it in my eyes…cursing it to the fiery pits of hell… And I’d been with Jake, no doubt bitching about the turkey slobber we’d been served or something like that. It seemed like forever ago.

Fishing out my phone from my pocket, I loaded my inbox and looked at the still unopened last email from him. I sighed. Usually when I looked at the email and considered opening it, I ended up opening and replying to one of the other emails from my former squad members, but I’d run out. They had all been read and replied to, and now only Jake’s remained.

I put down the phone on the arm rest and looked out at rain again. Opening that email had turned into one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do. I didn’t know why – the subject line indicated that it was a forwarded email with jokes. In all probability, Jake had not written a single word in the email himself. Yet, it was still the last thing he would ever tell me, and it felt like another goodbye when he had no more words for me. I didn’t want anymore goodbyes – especially not when I still had one I needed to say at the cemetery.

“I’m a goddamn coward,” I muttered, picking up the phone again and opening the email. After a deep breath, I looked at the screen. Scrolling through jokes that would have made me laugh if Jake had been the one to tell them, I smiled sadly. It felt anti-climatic until I reached the end of the email.

There was a P.S.

P.S.

 I’m going to ask you this in an email so you’ll feel compelled to reply the same way, and then I’ll have your reply in writing. That means no backing out! I’d like you to come with me to Forks when this tour ends. I know you probably want to continue battling the dust, the enemies, and the stuff they claim is food over here, but life’s got more to offer you, Rusty. Imagine a place where there is no dust. The air smells so clean that it will make you forget that dust and deserts even exist. Imagine friendly faces, good friends, awesome coleslaw, and a place to call home. I know that everyone back home would love to meet you after hearing about you for so long. Screw the Army – friends don’t leave friends behind, and that’s what I’d be doing by going home without dragging you with me. I’ll say please if I have to. Hell, I’ll even blackmail you with the sausage slingshot incident. So you better reply, and you better say yes. My mom makes the drill sergeant back in basic training look like a fluffy kitten, and I’m not afraid to sic her on your ass. I’ll be waiting for your email, so get typing.

I choked on a laugh – or a sob. At that point I wasn’t even sure. I was overwhelmed that I had unknowingly ended up doing exactly what he had asked me to. At the same time, I was also sad because he was supposed to be there, too…eating coleslaw and pulling pranks on James. Making his family happy with his mere presence and tending the bar like he had wanted to. Living and loving. Fulfilling his dreams.

Fuck you, fate.

It was Thanksgiving, and I was thankful for so many things – Bella, our baby, my new friends and family, the fact that I was alive, and that I was happier than I had been in a really long time. But I was also extremely bitter – sometimes it made me every bit as blind as my love for the pretty firecracker. It seemed very unfair that someone as bright and happy as Jake only got such a short time on earth.

“Edward?” I heard Bella call out from somewhere.

I found her in the dining room clutching a plate while she looked at the table with a frown.

“What’s up, baby? Need a hand setting the table?”

She shook her head and looked up at me with shiny eyes. “I thought I could get through today without bawling my eyes out, but I don’t know whether or not to put out a plate setting for Jake. We used to do it every year for Thanksgiving and Christmas because he came home one year for Thanksgiving unexpectedly and joked about not being welcome because the table wasn’t set for him. I don’t know what will make everyone more sad – that the plate is there or that it isn’t there.”

I took the plate from her and put it on the table. Drawing her into a tight hug, I offered her what little strength I had left after reading the email.

“We’ll all be sad when we remember Jake – plate or no plate,” I said. “If the world was fair, he would be here, but we can still be thankful for him even if he’s not. And I think he’s here in spirit. Where else would he be when there’s food being cooked in the kitchen?”

Bella sniffled into my shirt, and I could feel her nod. Never letting her go, I pulled out a chair and sat down with her in my lap. Then I found my phone and showed her the email. She clutched the phone in both hands while she read it, biting her lip the whole time.

“I thought he didn’t get to…” she whispered and turned her head to look at me. “He wrote to me…oh God. Remember when I first asked you about Rusty, not knowing it was you?”

I nodded. That had not been one of my finest moments.

“I’d just re-read the last letter he ever sent to me,” she said. “He asked me how he should approach you to ask you to quit the Army and come with him to Forks. I can show you the letter. But he was convinced that you would be happier in Forks than if you stayed in the Army.”

“He was right,” I said softly. “So fucking right.”

She ran her fingers through my hair and smiled. “You know, I don’t know if he would have tried to get us together, or if he would have been hung up on some my best friend can’t date my little sister crap, but in a way it feels like he did set us up.”

“Are you saying that we were meant to be?” I asked, smirking.

“No, that’s way too sappy,” she replied. “But if it wasn’t, then I would be saying it.”

I chuckled and kissed her. She was a riot, and I kind of wished I knew how to let her know exactly how much I loved her.

After a very much unscheduled make-out session, Bella got back to setting the table while she ordered me around. She ended up not adding a plate setting for Jake, which I thought was a good choice. Before we had a chance to wallow in gloomy thoughts, the house was invaded by a bunch of loud and happy people. James came in carrying the biggest bouquet of roses I had ever seen, intent on buttering up Sue for some reason. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the reason, because I was afraid that it might have something to do with either the reception or the baby. And I was certain that I was not going to like it – whatever it was.

Rose and Emmett came in next – one of them more elegantly than the other. Rose took a dive over the doorstep and got a nosebleed. James made the mistake of laughing, which made Emmett put him in a chokehold and Sue threaten to donate his entire wardrobe to charity.

Grandpa Billy was also there, demanding that the boy got him a beer. The boy turned out to be Charlie, who dutifully got him a bottled Heineken before sitting down to watch the game. Harry and his wife, along with Seth and Leah, were the last to arrive. Leah was moping because she’d had a fight with Jasper or something, and I decided not to ask about it after she almost bit Bella’s head off.

The food was awesome as always when Sue was cooking, and the company was every bit as good. Everyone told stories – not for my benefit, it seemed, but more of the remember when kind. Even Leah cheered up when she realized that she had an audience for stories about Bella and Seth’s misadventures. Sue asked about my previous Thanksgivings, and when I just said that they’d sucked compared to this one, no one probed any further.

Bella squeezed my hand under the table, and I realized that for the first time in my life, I was truly thankful – thankful for Bella and our baby, thankful for my new family, thankful for my life, and thankful that I had had the most awesome best friend in the world. He might have been physically gone for months, but that night especially, he was present in spirit.

Smiling at my pretty firecracker, I only allowed myself to think about my parents and sister for a brief moment. All I felt was pity. They thought they had it all with their money, reputation, and fancy jobs. In reality, they didn’t have anything.

And I did. I had it all.