The
feeling of a gun in my hand again was almost orgasmic. Maybe I had been an arms
dealer or a collector in a previous life – or an assassin. I liked the assassin
theory. I looked back up from the gun in my hand to James, who was flattened
against the wall across from me. I took another step toward him, loving how his
eyes widened. The gun was pointed at him, and he whimpered pathetically as he
begged for his life, promising never to bother me again with baby talk, stupid
name-calling, and his Tom Cruise crap.
It
didn’t matter, though. The flaming diva was going to get a bullet between his
eyes, and when he was gone, my sanity would be safe forever.
“Please
don’t. Please, please, please, please don’t shoot me!” he begged. “I’m too
pretty to die!”
I
laughed manically, scaring myself a little. Then I raised my hand slightly and
took aim. In my mind, James turned into a giant target. The sweat was trickling
down his neck, and his eyes flickered wildly, looking for a way to escape.
“Die,
sucker,” I said, pulling the trigger.
“Noooooooooo!”
he screamed as the bullet tore into him.
Even
as he slid down the wall, into a puddle of his own, pink blood full of sequins,
he was still screaming – only he started sounding more and more like Bella.
Shit!
Shit! Shit! What had I done?
Bella!
I sat up with a gasp. It was dark around
me, and my heart was pounding in my chest. The sound of Bella’s scream was
still ringing in my ears. No, wait.
It wasn’t an echo of my dream – she was, in fact, screaming.
With one hand I reached out for her, and
with the other I flicked on the light. She was thrashing around, and the scream
turned into sobs before I could do anything. Were you supposed to wake people who
had a nightmare? I was pretty sure I had heard that you shouldn’t, but I
couldn’t just listen to her scream and sob without doing anything. I pulled her
into my arms and held her tight, not knowing what else I could do for her. I
didn’t want to scare her.
“Ssshh. It’s okay, baby. You’re safe,” I
mumbled into her hair. I hoped fucktard Embry hadn’t invaded her dreams. If he
had, I wasn’t above killing the son of a bitch.
Like me, Bella woke up with a gasp. She
struggled against my hold for a second, but just as I was about to loosen my
arms around her to give her some space, she buried her face in the crook of my
neck and cried.
“It was just a dream, love,” I whispered.
Pretty firecracker tears were not something I liked.
After a few minutes, her tears stilled.
She pulled back and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Sorry,” she
rasped, pushing her hair out of her face. “It was just so real.”
It was weird that we had been having
nightmares at the same time, but I pushed my own to the back of my mind and
focused on Bella.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.
She hesitated a little. “I couldn’t
remember Jake,” she admitted softly. “I couldn’t remember what his voice
sounded like or what his face looked like. I couldn’t remember his laugh…it was
like he was slipping further and further away from me, and I just couldn’t hold
onto him. And then he was just completely gone. I am dealing with losing him, but my greatest fear is forgetting him,
you know? I couldn’t handle that.”
“Baby, I know that nightmares have a way
of being irrational, but you know that Jake is as unforgettable as they come.
You won’t ever forget him.”
“I know I won’t forget him, but I have to dig deeper and deeper
to remember the sound of his voice or his laugh. I’m so afraid that one day I
might not be able to at all,” she said, sniffling into my neck. “I’m such a
horrible sister!”
“Stop that. You’re not the least bit
horrible,” I argued. “It’s natural. I sometimes have a hard time remembering,
too. And I was with him last, you know. And forget about remembering what my
parents sound like. I mean, I’m sure I’d recognize them right away if I heard
them talk, but right this moment, I can’t recall the sound of their voices.”
She sighed. “I’m sorry. That is so sad.”
“I was so mad at my dad when he cancelled
Jake’s cell phone,” she continued after a moment. “I used to call it just to
hear his voicemail message. Mom and Dad never did the whole home video thing
when Jake and I were growing up. The voicemail recording was the only thing I
had with his voice on.”
“I can help with that. Whenever you’re
ready, I have some videos Jake and I made together,” I told her. “It’s just
stupid stuff, but he’s there – talking and laughing and being his funny self.”
“Really?” she asked eagerly, looking up at
me.
I nodded. “I haven’t actually watched them
since we made them, but we can watch them together. Or with your parents, if
you think they would want to.”
“I think they would love to see them,” she
replied. She tightened her arm around my waist. “You are so good for all of us.
Not just because you’re a link to Jake, but more than anything because you’re
you.”
I leaned down and kissed her. She had it
all backwards. She was so good for me that I felt more alive than I had in
years – maybe ever. And her whole family had taken me in like they had been
waiting their whole lives for me. Esme Cullen hadn’t cared when I was in a coma
and seriously wounded, but Sue Swan had been worried when I had been in a
simple fight. That alone spoke volumes to me. And above it all was Bella – my
shining light of everything that was good in the world. Hell, she was my world.
I looked at her face. Right now my world
had fallen back asleep. I placed a kiss on her forehead and pulled up the
blanket around us so she wouldn’t get cold. Sleep didn’t find me right away –
instead my thoughts drifted to the dream I’d had before waking up. It had been violent
in a very absurd way, although I often wanted to shoot the crazy diva in the
ass.
***
“I want to get another tattoo,” I said the
following morning over breakfast.
We had talked a little about the previous
night, but Bella seemed to be okay. I had checked her for injuries in the
shower, and the only reason that the asshole who had touched her was still
breathing was because I hadn’t found any. My face hurt a little, but that was a
small price to pay for finally getting to beat the shit out of Embry. Not even
when I had been practically face to face with the enemy in Iraq or Afghanistan
“Oh yeah?” Bella asked, trying not to
smile. “You’re not looking badass enough already?”
I chuckled. “I’m not trying to look
badass. I am badass.”
“Whatever you say, soldier boy,” she said
with a laugh and stabbed the last sausage with her fork. The sausage I had been
eyeing. Damn.
“You should get one, too,” I suggested,
trying to recover from the sausage tragedy. Instead, I snatched the last piece
of bacon, grinning in victory when she pouted.
“A tattoo?” she asked, frowning a little
and slid her bare foot up my leg under the table as if that would make me
surrender the bacon. Keep dreaming,
firecracker.
“I like tattoos,” she said thoughtfully.
“But I can’t really think of anything important or symbolic enough for me to
want it on my body forever. I haven’t done anything of importance like you and
the army, and you’d have to shoot me before I got a rose or a butterfly or
whatever prissy crap most girls get.”
I laughed. “That’s my girl.”
“What are you going to get?” she asked.
“A headdress. A big one,” I replied. I had
first gotten the idea when I was in the hospital, and since then the idea had
been floating around in the back of my mind. And now I wanted it.
“A headdress? Are you part Cherokee or
what?”
“Funny, Swan. No, it would be for Jake,” I
replied. “You know – Chief. I don’t know. It makes sense in my head, and I’m
going to do it as soon as I find a decent artist around here.”
She reached across the table and squeezed
my hand. “That is…possibly the best reason to get a tattoo I’ve ever heard.”
I smiled. She was kind of right. During my
time in the Army, Jake had been the only one I had allowed to get even remotely
past all the walls I had erected around myself. Losing him and the Army at the
same time had been like losing everything. The least I could do was commemorate
my best friend like I was commemorating the Army on my back.
“You should go see Marty. He has his own
parlor in Port Angeles
“Marty? Wait. Rose has a tattoo?”
She smirked. “Yup. Several, in fact. She’s
just extremely good at hiding them under her grandma clothes.”
“Well, damn,” I muttered. That woman was
just full of surprises.
After breakfast, Bella got me Marty’s
number, and after a quick phone call, I had an appointment two days later. In
those two days, Bella decided that she wanted a tattoo, too. I didn’t even
bother to hide that I liked that idea. Charlie, however, was not so
enthusiastic. At least not until Sue decided that she liked tattoos. I laughed
at Charlie just like everyone else, but I knew there was a really big chance
that I would become just like him – whipped beyond belief. Strangely, I didn’t
mind all that much.
“You don’t mind me stealing your idea, do
you?” Bella asked two days later when we were on our way to Port Angeles
I grinned. “It is, actually. I should consider
that for next time. And no, I don’t mind at all.” In all honesty, I was
thrilled that she wanted the same tattoo that I was planning to get. A smaller
one, but the same nonetheless.
Marty turned out to be a really nice guy
with more artistic talent in his pinkie than I had in my whole body. He was
probably also a mind reader because it didn’t take him long to draw a sketch of
the exact kind of headdress that I had pictured in my mind.
I wasted no time telling him that it was
exactly what I wanted, and since Bella insisted that I went first, I was in the
chair in no time. I wanted the tattoo on my upper arm, and as soon as the
needle touched my skin, I was transported back to a time where a different Swan
had been sitting next to me. Just like Jake had, Bella was biting her nails and
asking a million questions. Did it hurt? How long would it be before it healed?
Could it be erased if she changed her mind later on? Could someone be allergic
to the ink?
Marty was a good sport and helped me
answer them, but the longer he worked on me, the more nervous Bella looked. I
wouldn’t have been surprised if she chickened out like Jake had done.
“Edward, be completely honest. How much
does it hurt? Like a migraine? A pinch? Being burned? What?”
I tried not to laugh or roll my eyes. I
had answered that particular question at least four times in the last hour. “Like
I said, it hurts at first, but then it’s just a dull ache. However, if you’re
not certain, I don’t think you should get it done today. We can come back
whenever you’re completely ready.”
She frowned and chewed on her thumb nail. Her
gaze was fixated on the needle decorating my arm, and if she hadn’t looked
absolutely scared out of her mind, it would have been funny. There would
definitely be no tattoo for her today.
“Tell you what,” Marty said to Bella as he
finished up my tattoo. “I’ll make a file for you with the sketch, and then you
can come back anytime when you feel you’re ready. It doesn’t wash off in the
shower, so you need to be sure that you want it.”
“I’m sorry,” Bella said on the way home,
eyeing my newly tattooed arm. “I’m such a fucking coward. Ugh.”
I laughed. “You could always claim just to
follow the Swan family tradition. Remember that Jake chickened out, too?”
“Oh yeah,” she said softly and smiled. “We’re
badass, us Swans.”
“Extremely,” I deadpanned, wincing when
she hit my arm just beneath the tattoo. The woman was dangerous.
Later that night, Charlie was brave enough
to be happy that Bella hadn’t been inked, after all. It probably had something
to do with the fact that Sue wasn’t there, but the look on Bella’s face told me
that he should quit while he was ahead. His disapproval might fuel her desire
to actually get one eventually.
When Charlie was working, it was more
difficult to sneak out back with Bella when things were slow. When we tried –
and we did try because keeping our hands off each other was fucking hard –
James would always innocently ask Charlie where we were, and then our plans went
down the drain. Bella reciprocated by locking James in the bathroom, and it
took Charlie almost half an hour to notice that he was gone. It was like being
back in Kindergarten.
Charlie’s mustache twitched, and then he
made me work one end of the bar with him while James and Bella took the other
end. Later that night, he went ahead and made me admire him even more when he
decided that the bar would be closed the following night. Not because it meant
a night off, but because of his reason.
“Sometimes, a man just needs to eat dinner
with his family, business be damned,” he said and promptly invited James and me
to said dinner. Apparently it was time for Sue to create her magic with the
deer we had taken down the previous weekend. Or…the deer that Charlie had taken down.
Sue and Charlie had invited the newlyweds,
too, who had just returned from their honeymoon. Rose spent fifteen minutes thanking
me for giving them the trip, and between courses, Bella, Sue, and James fawned
all over the pictures Rose showed them.
The dinner solidified Sue’s title as the
world’s best cook in my opinion, and after three courses, I could barely move.
I had no idea how Charlie didn’t weigh three hundred pounds. When I helped her
clean up the kitchen afterward, I told her that it was the best dinner I’d ever
had the pleasure of eating. She blushed, and when I tried out the Mom she had insisted that I started using,
she gave me a motherly hug. I wasn’t sure I’d ever gotten a motherly hug
before, but I really liked it.
Bella had talked me into bringing the
videos I had mentioned to her. She brought them up hesitantly when we were
having coffee.
“Um, I’m sorry if this makes some of you
uncomfortable, but Edward has some old videos that he made with Jake,” she
said, looking around at her friends and family while squeezing my hand tightly.
“I was hoping we could watch them together. I mean, if you want.”
I was looking at Sue and Charlie while
Bella talked to gauge their reaction.
“Please,” Sue breathed, her eyes already
shining with unshed tears. Charlie just nodded and swallowed hard.
Rose and Emmett were both nodding eagerly,
too.
“Can I watch, too, even though I didn’t
know your Jake?” James asked in a small voice.
“Stop being silly, boy,” Sue told him
after clearing her throat. “You’re family, aren’t you?”
When we sat down around the TV, I suddenly
had a bad feeling about showing everyone the tapes without having looked at
them first myself. I couldn’t remember half of what was on them, and, more than
once, alcohol had been involved. Had we taped something that wasn’t for the
virginal eyes of parents?
Bella eagerly popped one of the tapes into
the camcorder hooked up to the TV and sat down next to me. A collective gasp
rang out in the living room when Jake’s face appeared on the screen.
“Yo,
Rusty! Is this thing on or what? Fucking hell, I feel like I need a college
degree to operate it. Why couldn’t you have gotten one with less buttons?” he
asked while zooming in and out and pointing the camera in a million different
directions.
A choked laugh escaped Bella, and I
tightened my arm around her. The remote control was in front of us on the
coffee table, easily accessible for anyone who needed a timeout from the
assaulting memories that we were no doubt all victims of. The sound of his
voice coupled with the first clear shot of his face had given me the feeling
that I was being hit in the gut with a sledge hammer. I remembered the day this
had been shot clearly. I had just gotten the camera, and Jake had been dying to
try it out. I bit my lip, knowing what came next on the screen.
“You
know what?” Jake asked, zooming in on his own nose. “We should call it Bob.”
“Bob?”
I asked.
“Yeah.
Our new best friend needs a name. We are going to make epic film history, after
all,” Jake replied with a laugh.
I
snorted. “Dude, cool it with whatever you’ve been inhaling.”
“If
I’m gonna inhale anything, it will be my mom’s apple pie. I told you that shit
is awesome,” Jake replied. “Now are you done pussying around? We need to get
going so we don’t get caught.”
The camera was turned off, and after a few
seconds of black screen, the picture returned. This time I was filming, and
Jake was flexing his biceps in front of the camera.
“So,
Bob, Rusty, and my handsome self would like to welcome you to a workout on the
obstacle course with Drill Sergeant Connors – or as we call him – The Devil.
Watch and learn, young grasshoppers,” Jake said.
What followed was probably only funny to
me because I knew Connors and could see how spot on Jake’s impersonation was.
But everyone in the room had their eyes glued to the screen while he goofed
around. Next, there were various clips of practical jokes carried out by Jake
and myself that had everyone in stitches – especially when they didn’t pan out
the way we had planned.
The first video ended, and Bella dried her
eyes with the back of her hand before getting up to pop in the other one. Rose
was dabbing her eyes with a tissue while Emmett was looking at the blank screen
with a faraway look in his eyes. Sue and Charlie were having a conversation
with their eyes only, but they didn’t appear too upset. James was sitting on
his hands in a chair, rocking back and forth. His eyes were tightly shut, and
so was his mouth. He looked…weird.
“Are you okay, James?” I asked.
“I shouldn’t, I shouldn’t, I really,
really, really shouldn’t…” he muttered. Then he blew out a breath. “But I have
to! I can’t keep it in. He’s so damn fine. Gah! Pictures really don’t do him
justice. Sorry!”
I bit the inside of my cheek to avoid
laughing. The girls had fawned all over Jake, so that James did, too, was no
surprise.
“Shut your mouth, boy,” Charlie said,
trying not to laugh.
“Sorry, Papa Swan! You and Mama Swan make
beautiful babies,” James replied with a dreamy look in his eyes.
“Hell yeah,” I heard Charlie mutter, and a
second later he yelped. I didn’t have to turn around to look to know that Sue
was the reason. I loved those two.
Bella came back to sit next to me after
having switched tapes. I didn’t remember what was on the remaining tape – only
that whatever was on it was probably from Afghanistan
“All
right, Bob. Let’s go for a little walk. Rusty never lets you out, does he?”
Jake’s voice rang out. “Colonel Banner said it was okay as long as I didn’t
film any army secrets. That’s a joke. What does he expect? That I’ll film how
they cook our food and sell the recipes to the enemy so they have a new weapon
on their hands? Jeez.”
The little walk consisted of a tour of the
camp, complete with introductions of everyone he came across. I swallowed hard
when Byrne waved shyly at the camera. Crowley
“Swan,
Swan, Swan,” he said with an exasperated sigh. “Are you overlooking the only
attractive thing about this camp on purpose or what?”
“Of
course not,” Jake replied. “I just thought I’d save filming myself for last.
Now be a nice city boy and say hello to Bob so I can get on with it.”
“Who
the hell is Bob?” Crowley
Jake
snorted. “Don’t hurt Bob’s feelings. He doesn’t go around asking who Tyler
Crowley is, does he? Now say hello, or I’m gonna go find some less rude people
to include in my movie.”
It was almost like being back there with
them all, and as much as it hurt to watch, it was also cleansing in a way. I
had left a big part of who I was over there in the dust, and it was like I was
watching that part on Sue and Charlie’s flat screen TV. It was a really surreal
feeling.
After Crowley
“Fucking
hell, Jake!” I said and shook the water out of my hair. Jake laughed as I
peeled off my wet t-shirt and threw it at him.
Next to me, Bella’s fingers dug into my
arm, and I realized that she was enjoying the show. And judging on the catcalls
coming from James’ direction, so was he.
“Hey,
watch out for Bob! He’s allergic to water,” Jake said, grinning.
“I
think he’s also allergic to being stolen by you,” I grumbled and picked up my
t-shirt from the ground.
Jake just grinned – it had been his
natural response to most things. Then he made a very sullen version of myself
say hello to Bob and everyone back home.
I didn’t remember much of what was
happening on the screen, and I had absolutely no idea who I had forced out a
smile for and said hello to through the camera. At that point, there had been
no one back home I had wanted to say anything to.
The tour of the camp continued until we
got to the tent where the mail was handed out. Jake had been one of the most
popular guys when it came to mail, so he always went to check if there was
anything for him. After getting the mail guy, whose name I couldn’t remember,
to say hello to Bob, he came back out with a package.
“I
can practically smell the porn,” he said, sniffing the package and handing me
the camera. “Rusty already knows, but you need to know this, Bob. It’s a
universal truth – I’ve got the best sister in the world. Though, if you ever
meet her, don’t tell her that the porn is for me. She thinks it’s for the other
guys.”
“You
do know that you’re talking to a piece of plastic, right?” I asked, dryly.
“Shut
up,” Jake replied good-naturedly. “Don’t insult Bob.”
I watched everyone in the room while Jake
made a big show of opening the package on the screen. Bella was giggling
through her tears, and everyone else was smiling. I wasn’t surprised that no
one seemed to be surprised about the porn. Jake had been a lot of things, but
he was not very subtle or covert. I looked back at the screen.
Jake
munched on a cookie as he pulled out a letter from the box. “This is the best
thing,” he grinned, cookie crumbs flying everywhere. He stuck the letter in his
pocket. “I’m saving this gem for tonight.”
A
siren rang out, and people immediately started running to wherever they were
supposed to be when it sounded.
“Cut,
Bob! We’ve got work to do!” Jake said, grinning.
There was complete silence in the room
once Jake had disappeared from the screen. Looking around, everyone seemed to
be lost in thought or trying to compose themselves. Sue caught my gaze and sent
me a wide, teary smile. Next to me, Bella squeezed my hand.
“Thank you,” she whispered, burying her
face in my arm.
They all thanked me, but I didn’t feel
like I had anything to do with it. I’d had the videos, but that was it. I
didn’t even remember why I had bought the video camera back then, because Jake
seemed like the only one who had been interested in actually using it. So I
couldn’t take credit for the videos being in my possession – it was all Jake.
No one had bothered to turn the TV off,
and suddenly the screen sprang to life, once again showing Jake.
“Dude, we’re doing this, so just shut up and deal with it,” Jake said, sitting down on a chair in front of the stationary camera.
“But
it’s creepy!” I argued somewhere in the background. “And besides, no one will
watch it if I do it.”
“What’s this?” Bella asked with her eyes
trained on the screen.
I grimaced. I wanted to turn off the TV so
badly, but this was exactly what Jake had wanted, and I couldn’t deny him
something that I remembered he had been so passionate about doing. I just
really, really didn’t want anyone to see my part of it. Ever.
I sighed. “Just watch,” I replied. Jake
always got what he wanted – there was no reason to change that now.
“Okay,
so here goes,” Jake said semi-seriously, which was as serious as he usually
ever got, looking directly into the camera. “If you’re seeing this, then I’m
dead. No, wait. Is that too much of a cliché?”
“Probably,”
I agreed flatly, still out of sight.
“All
right. I’ll try again. This is harder than I thought it would be,” he said,
clearing his throat. “Um, hello. Mom, Dad, Bella…I need you to know that
whatever happens, I will always love you. Even if I’m not here anymore, I will
still love you. Stuff like that doesn’t just stop. I’d like to think that I
turned out okay, and that you can be proud of me, but it’s only because of your
love and support.
“Rose,
Em, Grandpa, Leah, Seth, Uncle Harry, Aunt Claire, I also love you. I once told
Rose that I’m over here because someone has to make sure that everyone back
home stay safe, and it’s true. I’d do anything to make sure of that. I don’t
even care if it ends up killing me. Just…please be proud of me. I love you all
of you. And I’m sorry, Mom.”
Clearing
his throat, he stood up. “You’re up, Rusty.”
Everyone was crying, and I reached for the
remote to turn the TV off. However, Bella stopped me.
“Please don’t,” she said, sniffling.
I didn’t know if it was because she wanted
to see if there was more with Jake on the tape or because she wanted to see me
make an idiot of myself. But as it was, I couldn’t deny her. She couldn’t ever
know that tears in her eyes meant that I’d do anything for her. She’d just
start using it against me. I leaned back in the couch with a sigh.
“I
really don’t have anything to say,” I insisted.
“Bullshit.
Sit your ass down and pour your heart out,” Jake argued and pushed me over to
the chair.
I
reluctantly sat down, looking everywhere but into the camera.
“Dude,
come on!” Jake whined.
“What
do you want me to say?” I asked, sullenly. “It’s not like anyone cares if I
die. Tell me who I’m supposed to say goodbye to. My dentist? The mail man? Colonel
Banner? I told you all about my family. They already consider me dead.”
“Maybe
they’ll surprise you,” Jake suggested, cheerily.
“When
I’m dead?” I asked with raised eyebrows. “Yeah, see if I care.”
“There
has to be someone you’d want to tell something if you weren’t here anymore,” he argued.
I
sighed. “All right, all right. There is. But next time you get a stupid idea,
you’re on your own. This shit is more painful than getting teeth pulled.”
I
turned to face the camera. “If I die, I just want to say thank you to Jake’s
saint of a sister for the cookies. They did more for the war effort than most
officers over here.”
I
turned to Jake. “There. Happy now? I even meant that shit.”
Jake
came into the picture and patted my shoulder. “Dude, you’re sad. You don’t even
know her.”
I
snorted. “I know.”
Jake
laughed when he reached out to turn off the camera.
I had never been more embarrassed in my
life. If I had remembered that that particular clip was on the tapes, I might
just have burned them the moment I had found them. Well, okay, I wouldn’t have.
But I would have made sure to delete it before showing anyone. And if there
were any deities anywhere, now would
be an awesome time for the earth to swallow me whole.
“Awwww, muffin cup! We all love you!”
James cried, tackling me – and Bella by default – on the couch.
He clung to me, almost suffocating me, but
he did manage to break the awkward tension that had settled in the room while I
had shown how pathetic I was on video. I pushed him off me, and he went on to
hug everyone else just for the heck of it.
“Yeah, we really do,” Bella said softly.
At first I didn’t know what she was
talking about, but then it registered. The smile spread on my face just as it
did on hers, but then James had to go and ruin everything by launching himself
at us again and telling us all about how torn he was about who was the
prettiest – me or Jake. I needed to go find out where Charlie kept his rifles.
A chance to salvage the ruined moment
never presented itself that night. After swapping stories about Jake for an
hour, we went home. Bella and I barely made it into her apartment before
clothes were flying around us, and after round one against her front door and
round two in the bed, sleep was more appealing than talking.
The following morning, Bella hadn’t even
woken up yet when Charlie called me while I was making breakfast.
“Morning, son. You got plans today?” he
asked.
Yes,
Sir. I need to feed your naked daughter breakfast in bed before I figure out
how to tell her that I love her.
“Nope,” I replied.
“Great. I was wondering if you might be
interested in accompanying me to Port
Angeles
“Sure, I’d love to,” I replied. I wasn’t
about to say no if he needed help or turn down the opportunity to learn
something that might be handy to know later on. More importantly, I would also
never deny him when he offered me more responsibility. Responsibility came with
trust.
“I’ll pick you up in half an hour. Thanks,
son,” he said before ending the call.
I ate while finishing Bella’s breakfast.
Then I woke her up and showered while she ate. She was all for me going with
her dad – apparently he and Sue both had a habit of taking on too much, and
they weren’t getting any younger. After my shower, I dressed while getting
ogled by Bella, who was licking the maple syrup from the pancakes off her
fingers. Fucking minx. Then I was
ready to go meet Charlie. With a hard on. Thanks,
Bella.
The day was extremely educational, and it
soon become obvious that Charlie hadn’t asked me along as backup, but because
he wanted to entrust me with more responsibility. He and Sue had spent decades
building their business, and now they wanted me to take part in the decision
making when it came to suppliers. It was a staggering thought, and I was not
about to let them down.
We spent the entire day in Port Angeles
The night was fairly busy, at least until
it neared closing time. Emmett had made an appearance, and when it slowed down,
I joined him at end of the bar. Bella was in the office doing paperwork, and
James was hitting on a guy at the other end.
“My mom called today to ask when the
wedding was,” Emmett told me and emptied his beer.
I frowned and got him another one. “I
thought your mom was at the wedding,” I said. “Wasn’t she the one wearing the
big hat?”
“Yup, she was there,” he replied with a
snort. “She was also completely wasted, which is probably why she doesn’t
remember.”
“Shit. That blows. I’m sorry, Em,” I said.
He shrugged. “She’s been like that my
whole life – that’s why I always spent so much time at Jake’s house. Sue and
Charlie are like the perfect parents. I’d just hoped that for once she’d make
an effort, you know?”
“Parents suck, man,” I sympathized. “Mine
didn’t even bother to show up when I’d been blown up and was in a coma.”
Emmett shook his head. “My mom put a
Mickey Mouse bandage on my wrist when I broke it playing soccer in the fourth
grade. And then she gave me a shot of bourbon for the pain. Sue nearly killed
her when she found out.”
“We got royally screwed over in the
parental department, huh?” I asked.
“And then some,” Emmett agreed.
“Watch your mouths, ungrateful pretty
faces,” James interrupted, looking as serious as I’d ever seen him. “You two,
well, all three of us actually, have the best parents in the world. Just
because a man donated some sperm and a woman popped you out nine months later
does not mean they’re your parents. Mama and Papa Swan have taken us all in,
and I, for one, know that no one has ever loved me more than they do.”
“That’s true,” Emmett allowed. “You come
from sucktastic people, too?”
James nodded and looked down for a moment.
“My dad beat the crap out of me when he found out that I was gay, and Mom was
too disgusted to care. Mama and Papa Swan just love me anyway. That’s all I
need to know.”
“I’m sorry, dude. Grab a drink. Both of
you,” Emmett said. “We’re toasting to awesome parents – the kind who choose to
love you instead of the kind who shits on you when they should be loving you.”
I toasted with my new brothers, and we
swapped more crappy stories about the people who had produced us.
“What the hell is this?” Bella asked,
coming out from the office. “Why are you having a love fest when you should be
closing? Emmett, go home. Rose was expecting you an hour ago. And those of you
expecting to get paid for tonight need to get their asses in gear and clean
this place up.”
Emmett whistled and put down his glass. “I
know I’m a man and therefore responsible for all the bad stuff in the world,
but it was God who decided that women should be on the rag every month. Be mad
at him.”
Bella glared at him. “I can – and will –
ban you from the bar for the next decade if you don’t go home right now. I’m
tired, it’s twenty minutes past closing time, and I am not on the fucking rag.”
Emmett chortled, always excited for a
chance to rile someone up. I grabbed the broom and handed it to James, pleading
him with my eyes not to make things worse in his usual way. He pouted, but
started sweeping the floor. Then I went over to Bella and put my arms around
her.
“Goodnight, Emmett,” I said
diplomatically.
That just made him laugh harder. “Dude,
you’re whipped.”
“And you should be, too, considering you
have a beautiful, new wife waiting for you at home,” I shot back.
“All right, all right. I’m not actually
afraid of your angry kitten, but I am terrified of my own lioness at home. I’m
going. Goodnight,” he called out and left, still chuckling.
“Go on upstairs if you’re tired, love,” I
said to Bella and kissed the side of her neck. “James and I will finish up here
and lock up.”
She sighed. “I’m just exhausted, and then
I get cranky. I even fell asleep at the desk while doing paperwork.”
“I’ll try my best not to keep you up
tonight,” I told her.
“Well, I’m not that tired,” she said, giggling.
I attempted to give her a hickey on the
neck, but she skillfully maneuvered around in my arms using her firecracker
tricks. Standing on her toes, she kissed me like a woman who was not tired at
all. Of course, then James went and ruined everything by hitting me in the back
of my knees with the broom so I accidentally bit down too hard on Bella’s
bottom lip. She pulled back, wincing.
“Shit, I’m sorry, baby,” I apologized and
grabbed the broom from James so I could hit him with it, too.
“I hate men,” Bella grumbled. “Well, some
men. You guys finish up here. I’m going to bed. And if this place isn’t
sparkling tomorrow morning, I’ll castrate the first person I see who has a
dick.”
“What the ever-loving fuck crawled up your
little behind and died a tragic death?” James asked bravely, but half-hidden
behind me.
I shook my head and stepped to the side.
If he wanted to die, then I wasn’t standing in the line of fire. Dude was on
his own. I started picking up the dirty glasses from the bar. Had it been
anyone else, I would have defended my pretty firecracker, but she was much
better at handling James than I was.
Bella didn’t explode like I had expected,
though. Instead she sighed. “I’m exhausted, and I just want to sleep. And I’m
annoyed because I would have been doing that right now if you hadn’t…ugh.
Ignore me. I’m sorry for being a bitch. I just need sleep. Goodnight.”
James looked at me with a frown, but I
couldn’t do anything except shrug my shoulders. I had no idea what was wrong,
although I did have a couple of theories. Maybe the videos from the other night
had affected her more than she wanted to admit – or even more than she
realized. Also, something that was bound to mess with all of us was the fact
that Jake’s birthday was coming up soon.
I quickly finished cleaning up and was
pleased to see James do the same. I let him lock up and hurried upstairs. Although
it wasn’t safe, I hoped that Bella had left her door unlocked. I didn’t want
her to be alone, although I was also conscious of the fact that maybe she
really did just need sleep and a little space. She meant everything to me, but
there were still a lot that I didn’t know about her.
Her door was locked, though. I knocked
softly, but not loud enough to wake her up if she was already sleeping. There
was no answer, and I leaned my forehead against the door in frustration. Was
there a How to be a Good Boyfriend 101 class somewhere that I could take?
James returned upstairs while I was
debating with myself what to do, and he had no sympathy for me.
“If you hadn’t been so insistent about
installing those damn deadbolts, I would have been able to pick the lock for
you. But now you’re on your own, Prince Charming,” he said. “And how is Prince
Charming going to wake up the Indian princess with a kiss if he can’t get into
the tower, huh?”
“Goodnight, court jester,” I said,
sighing. I hated the fact that he was actually right. And then I hated the fact
that I was even considering of breaking into my girlfriend’s apartment. That
was probably not part of the How to be a Good Boyfriend 101 class.
James snickered and went into his own
apartment. Finally agreeing with myself that waking Bella up was a bad idea, I
also went into my own place. I would get up early and make her breakfast
instead. Hopefully, I could get a better idea if something was bothering her.
Only stopping to empty my pockets, I went
directly to the bedroom. I needed sleep, too. However, when I turned on the
lights, I was surprised to see Bella fast asleep in my bed. She was wearing one
of my t-shirts and hugging my pillow. At that moment, I knew that I was just
fucking done for. The pretty firecracker owned my heart, and she could blow it
up whenever she pleased.
It didn’t take long to brush my teeth,
shed my clothes, and crawl under the covers. When I pulled her close, she
opened her eyes.
“I took a chance and assumed that bitches
were allowed in your bed,” she said and buried her face in the crook of my
neck.
I chuckled. “No bitches – only
firecrackers.”
She sighed. “Good.”
“Bella?” I asked, nervously.
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
I didn’t know if I had ever said those
words out loud to anyone before, but if I had, I couldn’t remember. I hadn’t
been raised in a family where that kind of stuff was ever expressed verbally –
and when it mattered, not in actions, either. No one had ever made me feel even
a fraction of what Bella made me feel.
She kissed my neck before leaning her head
back so she could look at my face. I was surprised to see a tear in the corner
of her eye.
“I love you more.”
I shook my head, chuckling. “Impossible.”
“Wanna bet?” she challenged me with a
grin. She sat up and straddled me. “I’m suddenly not so tired anymore. What
about you?”
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