Chapter 15

An asshole. An epic screw-up. A disaster with a dick. A complete and utter bastard. A hopeless idiot. A fucked up, embarrassing, teenage boy. A disgrace to men everywhere. I wasn’t quite sure what the correct term to call myself was. Maybe if I combined them all, I’d get it somewhat right.

Even if I would somehow be lucky enough to get to spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to Bella, it wouldn’t be enough. I had never been so humiliated in my life, but that didn’t mean anything in comparison to the state I’d left Bella in. That shit was just totally unacceptable. I hadn’t exactly timed it, but I couldn’t have lasted more than a few minutes.

Way to make your first time together memorable, Cullen.

The week following the wedding dragged. The happy couple had washed off the cake and flown to Paris as soon as they could, using my wedding present. I was happy that I’d gotten them what I’d wanted to give them instead of whatever they might have registered for. A china set didn’t send you on a honeymoon – and neither did sex toys.

Every time I tried to talk to Bella, something came up. If she wasn’t thermometer shopping – whatever that meant – with James, she was running out the door to go pick up Rose and Emmett’s mail or filling in for Leah at the diner. Leah had apparently asked for time off to go to Seattle with Jasper for a week. I was torn between thinking that Jasper needed to stay away from Forks and thinking that his taste had improved since Alice.       

Even if I hadn’t been able to sit Bella down and talk to her properly, I’d gotten her flowers and apologized so many times that she was now snapping at me. And then apologizing for snapping, which led to me apologizing again and her snapping…vicious, vicious circle.

The nights weren’t much better. We’d slept in the same bed a few nights, never going past kissing and cuddling. Bella would claim to be tired, and I couldn’t blame her for not wanting a repeat of the last time. However, that didn’t mean that I wasn’t desperate to show her that it was a fluke and that I was man enough to satisfy her. Talking to her about it was futile, though. She was tired. I thought it was way too early in our relationship for that, but of course I wasn’t a relationship expert. Or man enough to please my woman, apparently.

If that wasn’t bad enough, then I’d become so paranoid about the whole thing that I’d gotten it into my head that James knew. The looks he sent me sometimes were filled with pity. I’d sworn to myself that if he knew – by spying, being told by Bella, or even if he’d seen it in a goddamn vision – I was going to drown myself in my kitchen sink. There were just certain things that I couldn’t bear to live with, because if he did know, it would only be a matter of time before he started giving me hell about it.

By the time Friday rolled on, I was ready to go back to Afghanistan to prove my worth as a man. The only thing saving my sanity was the fact that Charlie had made me complete an online hunting education course and sent me to get my hunting license at the Olympic Sporting Goods store during the week. He was lending me a rifle and taking me deer hunting the following day. I was planning to retreat back to being a caveman who brought home a dead animal to prove his masculinity.

“I hate you!” James hissed at me as he walked by carrying a tray of shot glasses.

“I know. You’ve been telling me that for three days now. I got it the first time,” I replied and turned back to the whiskey I was pouring.

James was not a fan of hunting and had made it clear about a hundred times that I would burn in hell for killing Bambi. He was also sure that I was the one who had killed Bambi’s mother. I was surprised he had seen that movie since it didn’t feature Tom Cruise.

It didn’t help James’ mood that there was a lot of talk about hunting at the bar in general as deer hunting season was starting. He fought Bella and me – even Charlie when he was there – for the female customers, as they weren’t as likely to talk about hunting.

“Bambi murderers burn in hell,” he told me, coming to stand behind me after I’d served an older guy, who’d told me he was a good friend of Harry’s. I didn’t know why I needed to know that, but I was thankful that the guy hadn’t asked for firewater.

“James, honey, stop nagging Edward,” Sue interrupted. “You know as well as I do that you eat venison when I cook it and invite you over for dinner. Double standards aren’t pretty.”

I turned to send Sue a smile. I hadn’t seen her come into the bar, but her calling James on his bullshit was one of my favorite things.

“Good evening, Sue,” I greeted her. “What can I get you?”

“Something with a pretty color and an umbrella. I’m feeling adventurous,” she replied and sat down.

James leaned over the counter in front of her. “Mama Swan,” he said seriously. “When the brutal, manly men have already killed Bambi, it would be a waste not to eat the meat.”  

Sue patted his head. “You keep telling yourself that, honey. Just remember that if Edward and Charlie don’t shoot anything tomorrow, there’ll be no nice venison dinners.”

James went away, pouting, and I handed Sue her drink. She tasted it and gave me an approving thumbs up.

I served customers while chatting with her. As I got to know her and Charlie more and more, it wasn’t surprising that they had raised kids as amazing as Bella and Jake. Sue was hands down one of the nicest people I had ever met, and she seemed to draw in everyone with her warmth, humor, and need to make sure that the people around her were comfortable and happy. To me, she was the definition of what a mother should be. She was also pretty much everything my own mom wasn’t.

“Hey, lady. Don’t hit on my man. Yours is out back,” Bella teased as she came to stand next to me. She smiled up at me and slipped a finger through the belt loop of my jeans.

Sue laughed. “Well, I better go see my man, then. Since I can’t have yours and all.”

Bella wrinkled her nose, but then laughed. “That was awkward. Sometimes I should just keep my mouth shut.”

I chuckled and kissed the top of her head. I enjoyed the way she melted into me briefly. It was fairly innocent, considering we were working and all, but even the most innocent gestures made the doubts I had go away for a moment. It wasn’t fair to doubt Bella just because she wasn’t eager to repeat the most disastrous sex in the history of sex, but being pushed away repeatedly did that to a man’s ego, apparently. Plus, everything was still so new between us.

Ugh. And I am officially turning into a teenage girl.  

I didn’t get a lot of sleep that night. Not just because Charlie was picking me up before dawn, but because I had a nightmare where he found out that I wasn’t doing a very good job of keeping his daughter satisfied. Instead of shooting deer, he shot me, and I woke up drenched in sweat just as I was bleeding to death and Charlie was laughing manically at me. Fucking hell. This needed to stop, and it needed to stop soon.

I got out of bed, groaning when my leg didn’t agree with the action. Charlie had told me to dress appropriately. The only problem was that I didn’t know what appropriately meant when it came to hunting. It would have to be warm as it was sure to be fucking cold outside. I tried to remember what people had been wearing in the hunting pictures in Charlie’s office. Green…definitely green. And brown maybe? Right. I needed to find something in my closet that made me look like the forest.

Ten minutes later, I was inhaling my coffee in my Army fatigues. It was the only thing that was even remotely appropriate in my closet for an early morning deer hunting expedition. I should have gotten some clothes when I went to get my hunting license. I’d already promised myself that if I liked hunting, I was getting my own rifle. Clothes would have to be added to the list.

I was excited when Charlie picked me up. He took one look at what I was wearing and gave me a satisfied nod. His own pants were fatigues, too, but his jacket was a dusty green and his hunting cap was brown. He looked a hell of a lot warmer than I expected to be.

“Morning, son,” he greeted me.

“Morning,” I replied, getting into the old pickup truck.

The car smelled of coffee, and there were two travel mugs in a small cardboard box on the seat between us. Coltrane was playing softly in the background, and I wasn’t surprised to see the music coming from a build-in cassette player. Charlie was so old-school that he was cool in my book.

Neither of us felt the need to fill the comfortable silence with unnecessary words. It had been a long time since I had been up before dawn, so I enjoyed the opportunity to make my mind wake up fully. Charlie drank from one of the travel mugs, and he motioned for me to take the other one. I nodded my thanks and sipped the tar-like brew. I was definitely awake now.

I had no idea where we were. Charlie turned down a forest road, and after about ten minutes, he pulled over and parked. We got out, and Charlie produced two rifles. I chuckled to myself as I remembered how many times I’d wished I’d had my hands on a weapon since arriving in Forks. James and the noisy couple from the motel were lucky they weren’t around that morning.

I hadn’t anticipated how much I would enjoy just being out in the forest. It was while trudging behind Charlie on the damp forest floor that I truly realized how right Jake had been about small town life. In Seattle, driving for twenty minutes didn’t get you to a place where all you could hear was your own breathing and the forest waking up. I decided right then and there that I was never going back to living in the big city.  

It started to rain, drizzling miserably down my collar and soaking my clothes. Once in a while, Charlie would quietly point out tracks to me, and I quickly realized that he was a very skilled hunter. I paid attention, but I also took time to enjoy nature. Even if it was very wet nature.

It was Charlie who spotted a deer first, of course. He alerted me that he was going to take a shot, and then it rang out, echoing through the forest and hitting the target perfectly.

“It’s going to be a while before we see any animals again. The shot scared them off,” Charlie said as we walked over to the dead deer. “We usually call it a day when someone has taken down an animal, but we can stick around so you can get a shot in.”

“That’s okay,” I replied. “It didn’t really feel like the goal today was to fire the rifle. It was great just being out here.”

Charlie chuckled. “I knew you were good people. Some of the guys I’ve been hunting with for twenty years still don’t get what it took you one morning to figure out. As nice as it is to bring something home after a hunt, there’s much more to it than that.”  

I helped Charlie carry the deer back to the truck. Now that we didn’t have to be quiet, he told me about the magic Sue could make with venison and promised me a dinner invite.

“You’re a good hunting buddy, Edward,” he told me when we’d reached the truck and loaded the deep. “You know how to shut up and how to walk quietly. I’ve been teaching Emmett the art of silence for years, but he still makes too much noise when he walks. Jake…well, my boy couldn’t shut up for two damn minutes. I’m sure you know.”

I nodded, remembering fondly how many times I’d told him to be quiet. “He could actually be quiet when he had to, though. Of course, he also looked like he might burst after five minutes. He had so many words he needed to get out.”

Charlie sighed with a small smile. “That he did.”

Since Charlie had brought him up, I spent the drive back to town telling him about some of Jake’s Army escapades. Like the time he’d TP’ed Colonel Banner’s tent, or when he’d made the ultimate sacrifice by saving the chocolate bars from his rations for a few weeks to hand out to local kids.

Charlie laughed and reciprocated with a story about twelve year old Jake and Emmett, writing the Chocolate Manifesto and reading it aloud in the town square. “Those boys always took their chocolate seriously, so it really must have been a great sacrifice for Jake to give it to the kids.”

“Receiving cookies from Bella probably softened the blow,” I commented with a chuckle.

Charlie shook his head with an affectionate smile. “It didn’t matter what that boy asked for when he was overseas. Between Bella, Sue, and Rose, he’d be sure to get it. He’d write his mom asking for Snickers bars, then Bella, and then Rose. Sometimes he’d ask me, too, but I knew they’d all sent him some. One time I sent him a carrot instead.”

I laughed. “So that’s where the carrot came from! I remember him parading it around, but he didn’t want to share why he’d gotten it. He thought it was funny until some of the guys started calling him Bunny.”

We shared and laughed at stories about Jake the whole way home. Charlie dropped me off at the diner and told me that anytime I wanted to go hunting again, I should just let him know.

I was still drenched when I climbed the stairs. It didn’t matter that I had nothing to show for my first hunting adventure – the experience had ingrained itself deeply in me. Everything about it had appealed to me – watching the forest awake to a new day, carrying around a rifle without having to worry about getting shot at, spending time with a man that I greatly admired, learning new things, and getting a closer look at the amazing nature that my new hometown was surrounded by.

I unlocked the door and nearly ran smack into James.

“Holy mother of sweet, little baby Jesus!” he exclaimed. He gaped wide-eyed at me, and I wondered if I’d gotten blood on my clothes or something. “Why have you not put on a uniform sooner, soldier pie? Not that you don’t look lickable in civilian clothes, but denying people the sight of you in uniform as like denying them air!”

I rolled my eyes and pushed past him. I had a date with a hot shower and some dry clothes.

“Bella!” he yelled loudly and ran over to pound on her door.

She came out when I was unlocking my door, and I paused before going inside.

“Good morning, pretty firecracker,” I greeted her, unable to stop the smile forming on my lips.  

She looked like she’d just rolled out of bed, which was very likely since it wasn’t that late. She was probably still half asleep because instead of returning my greeting, she just stared at me.

“I know, right?” James said to her, leaning against her doorframe and fanning himself with one hand. “Your soldier man is fucking hot, Indian princess. Just imagine those little soldier babies running around in their fatigues onesies.”

I sighed. “James, do me a favor?”

“Yes, I’ll peel that wet uniform off you,” he replied.

I ignored him. “Wherever you were going when I came in? Please go there now.”

“Okay,” he said with a sigh before pulling his cell phone from his pocket. “But I’m getting a picture first!”

Before I could protest, he snapped a picture with his phone. I rolled my eyes again, but at least I wasn’t naked this time. Then he sent me an air kiss and scampered out the door. I walked over to Bella, who now looked a little more awake.

“What does a guy have to do to get a good morning kiss around here?” I asked.

“Not a damn thing. Good morning kisses are mandatory. Especially when you’re wearing that,” she replied and reached up to pull my head down to appropriate Bella Kissing Level. She kept her distance at first, but firecracker kisses had a tendency to heat up to the point where we both got lost. Her lips were soft and warm, and she tasted of toothpaste. She melted against me at the same time that I pressed her against the doorframe, and she squeaked into my mouth and pulled back.

“Shit, you’re cold! And wet.”

I laughed and let her go. “Being out in the rain will do that to you.”

“Ugh. Go shower and warm up. You’ll get sick, and I’m not dressing up as naughty nurse,” she said, wrinkling her nose.

I sighed. “And there goes that fantasy. Shower with me?”

“Um…I can’t. I have stuff to do,” she replied after hesitating briefly.

I hooked a finger under her chin and made her look at me. “This is getting ridiculous. Come over for lunch? I have no idea where to take you on a date, especially when we never have a night off at the same time. But bear with me while I figure it out? I’ll dazzle you with my extremely ordinary cooking skills.”

She bit her lip in an unsuccessful attempt to kill a smile. “I wish you’d stop being so freaking adorable.”  

“Is that a ‘Yes, Edward, I’d love to come over for lunch’?” I asked.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what it is,” she replied with a smile.

“All right then. See you at lunch,” I told her, picking up her hand and kissing the inside of her wrist.

I walked back to my own door for a second attempt at unlocking it. Before going inside, I looked over at Bella who was still standing in her door. She smiled and waved at me before disappearing inside. I followed her example, heading straight for the shower. Without Bella’s kisses to warm me up, I was fucking freezing.

While I warmed up under the hot spray of water, I thought about what to make for lunch. I could cook, but I hadn’t been kidding when I said that my cooking skills were ordinary. I knew how to make the stuff that I liked to eat, but that was it. And I was a simple man who liked simple things.

Forty-five minutes later when I’d gotten dressed and eaten a not very appetizing apple, I was still as clueless about what to make. Looking around the grocery store that I was currently in was not helping much. Everything was either too complicated or too boring. I had a woman to woo for heaven’s sake.

I finally ended up deciding on calzones. My parents had had an Italian housekeeper for a while when I was a kid, and she had cooked more dinners for the family than my mom ever had. She was also the one who had taught me how to cook, telling me that food wasn’t just the way to a man’s heart, but the way to anyone’s heart. I really hoped she was right. She’d taught me how to make calzones when I was fourteen, and I’d found it highly embarrassing when Jasper found out that I was learning to cook. Surprisingly, though, he’d just asked if he could learn, too.

Safely back home without getting ambushed by James again, the calzones were quickly done. I made a salad to go with them, and if that didn’t dazzle the firecracker, I had my secret weapon stashed safely away. Chocolate ice cream and chocolate-covered cherries. Maybe Bella had secretly had a hand in the Chocolate Manifesto, too, because she really did appreciate it.

I had time to spare, so I dug out my laptop and Googled where one could bring his pretty firecracker on a date in Port Angeles. There weren’t a million options, but I was confident that I could pull of a proper date as soon as time allowed us to go on one. I surfed around a little, checking sports news, the prices on hunting rifles, and then ended up checking my email. The email from Jake still sat unopened in my inbox, and so did the six others from former squad members.

I was curious, but at the same time I knew that whatever was in those emails would be painful to read. Dealing with the fact that Jake, Crowley, Jones, and Byrne were gone while I was not had not gotten less painful. Somehow, I had just learned to deal with it a little better. At least that’s what it felt like when I talked about Jake with Charlie, Bella, Sue, or Emmett. Talking about him even helped as it felt like he wasn’t quite as gone when he still possessed the power to make us all laugh.

The cursor hovered over one of the emails, and after a deep breath I opened one of them. It was from a guy named Tom Collins. He’d been the least sociable guy in the squad, but a dedicated and brave man, who I had a lot of respect for. The email was written while I was still at the hospital, just after he’d gotten home. He asked about how I was doing, and I realized that I’d been a shitty person by not letting them know that I was okay.

He told me about how the squad had crumbled completely and that the remaining members had been sent home early to escort the bodies of Jake, Crowley, Byrne, and Jones. I wondered if they had attended the funerals, too, and that lead me to thoughts of Jake’s funeral and his heartbroken friends and family. It was so different when you knew the people being left behind.  

I checked my watch. Bella would be arriving soon, and I needed to finish lunch. But the first chance I got, I would be reading and replying to those emails. I had been a thoughtless bastard long enough. It was the last thing I could do for my old squad.

To my own great surprise, the calzones did manage to dazzle Bella. And the chocolate-covered cherries didn’t hurt, either.

“Do you have any other talents I should know about?” she asked while we ate. “When my mom finds out that you can cook, she’ll be fighting my dad for you. Leah tries, but she needs constant supervision in the kitchen.”

I chuckled. “Tell Sue that if she switches to an Italian menu, she can come see me. I learned how to cook by our old Italian housekeeper, and I never really branched out much.”

“So it’s a really good thing that I love Italian food, isn’t it?” Bella asked, winking.

I smiled broadly at the thought of cooking for her again. “Yes, that’s a really good thing.”

The conversation flowed effortlessly between us, and I wondered if I should broach the subject of sex. Because we hadn’t talked about it, and because I hadn’t gotten a chance to prove otherwise, Bella had it in her head that there was something wrong with me. It bothered me that she saw things that way, but I couldn’t blame her. I was just sick of getting shot down every time I tried to talk to her about it.

“Don’t you think we should talk about last weekend?” I asked, finally caving.

She looked over my shoulder instead of at my face. “The wedding?”

I sighed. “Bella, please.”

“Okay! Jeez. I don’t want to talk about it because I see how it affected you, okay?” she finally said, and the look in her eyes told me she really had been more worried about me than being left wanting. “I thought talking it to death was the last thing you needed. And I don’t know how yet, but I’m sure we can fix it or…I don’t know…make it better?”

The sincerity in her eyes was so touching, and it made me fall in love with her all over again. But it was also pretty funny how she refused to believe that the only reason I’d done my not so impressive Teenage Virgin impression was because the only action I’d gotten in a really long time was whatever my own hand could provide.

Before I could respond, Bella’s cell phone rang. She shot me an apologetic look, but I had a feeling she was rather relieved by the timing of whoever was calling her.

“Hey, Dad,” she said after she’d checked who was calling. She listened while occasionally throwing in a yes or an of course. Then she hung up and looked at me.

“There’s some kind of convention in Port Angeles, and a few busloads of people just arrived in Forks. Dad wants to open the bar early. I promised I’d be right down. Are you up for it?” she asked, standing up.

“Sure,” I replied, suppressing the urge to sigh and curse Charlie’s timing to hell and back. Whoever said that relationships weren’t easy was definitely not kidding.

I left the dishes in the sink for later and followed Bella out of the apartment. She waited for me while I locked my door. “Thanks for lunch, Edward. It was delicious,” she said.

I smiled at her, and when I’d slipped the keys into my pocket, I reached out and grabbed her by the waist. My need for her never wavered – not even when we were busy creating distance between us because of all kinds of stupid stuff. Pressing my lips against hers, the eager response that she couldn’t hide or control made me confident that I’d be able to convince her that what had happened the previous Saturday was a one time thing. If not with my words, then with my actions. The pretty firecracker had a news flash coming her way. Soon.

After making out for almost fifteen minutes – and me calming down in another five – we finally managed to find our way down to the bar. Charlie was in full swing serving the customers, and Bella and I jumped right in.

“I called James first,” I overheard Charlie tell Bella. “But he said he was in Port Angeles looking for…um…no, I’m not going to repeat that. Especially not to my daughter, who in my mind will always remain a virgin. He’ll be here at the usual time, though. And I hope I’ll be long gone by then, because I don’t know if I can look him in the eyes.”

Bella laughed. “Oh, come on, Dad. You know how he is. It’s not a good day for him unless he’s gotten everyone riled up. I’m sure he was just kidding about whatever he said. And I’m going to be asking him what it was since you won’t tell me.”

Charlie groaned. “Please don’t. You shouldn’t even know about stuff like that. Come to think of it, neither should I!”

They continued their playful bickering, and since I was curious about what the hell James had said to get Charlie so rattled, I texted him and asked. It took less than a minute before I got a reply back, and when I read it, I wished that I hadn’t been so curious. James had been looking at cock rings. I rolled my eyes and wondered why I was even surprised.

It was a busy night. The convention people from Port Angeles left around eleven, and soon after Charlie went home after he’d spent most of the night avoiding James. A little before closing time, Bella shut herself in the office and left the closing and the clean-up to James and me. Personally, I didn’t mind. I’d take manual labor over paperwork any day, but James complained.

“My feet hurt,” he whined. He was wiping down the counter while lying on top of it. “I’m too pretty to be in pain.”

There wasn’t a lot left to do, and I’d get it done quicker if he stopped whining and being in the way. “Go on upstairs. I’ll finish up here,” I said.

“Really? Awesome! Thanks, pickle dick!” he exclaimed and jumped down from the counter. He did a little victory dance, apparently forgetting that his feet hurt, and then sprinted out the door.

I shook my head and finished up out front before heading out back to see if Bella was ready to leave. However, she was not doing paperwork like I’d expected. She sat on the edge of the desk wearing only jeans and a bra. Her top was in her hands, and she was scrubbing it furiously.

She looked up when she heard me. “There’s a baseball bat behind the door. Go kill James, please?”

I snorted, more than just a little distracted by all the skin and sexy curves on display. “I don’t need a baseball bat, but mind telling me why I’m killing him? Might need a good explanation for court, you know.”

“The lying bastard spilled something on me earlier when we ran into each other, and he claimed that it didn’t stain. Well, it was red wine, so obviously it stained!” she grumbled. “If it doesn’t come off, he’s buying me a new top.”

I shrugged and walked over to her. “I don’t know. I kind of like you without a top.”

I could tell by her posture that the anger left her body at my words. I was glad. Sure, it was pretty, but it was just a top – and she did look spectacular without it on. I stepped in between her legs and took the cloth out of her hands. At her questioning look, I just smiled and leaned down to kiss her.

“Do you have any idea how fucking beautiful you are?” I asked between kisses.

Instead of replying, she moaned and began tugging at my t-shirt. I chuckled and trailed kisses down her throat, loving the effect I had on her as I felt her hands faltering in what they were doing.

“Since you won’t listen to me, I’m going to convince you another way,” I told her as I unfastened her bra. I loved the way her breasts felt in my hands, and by the sounds she was omitting, Bella liked it, too. The firecracker was pretty all over.

“Doesn’t matter. Your fingers are enough,” she said, slightly out of breath. “Ugh. Why are you wearing so many clothes?”

My fingers were enough? I groaned. I’d fucking show her. I took a step back and pulled off my t-shirt. Tugging Bella up, my lips worked on her neck while my hands were busy unfastening her jeans. The little vixen did nothing to help – instead she rubbed me through my jeans, which shattered my concentration completely. As did her fingers working the button and the zipper and reaching into my boxers to stroke me. Holy fuck. And fondle my balls. It was like she wanted me to embarrass myself. Goddamn firecracker and her adventurous hands.

I pushed her jeans and panties down past her hips. “Sit,” I told her.

She took her hand out of my underwear and saluted me with a wink. “Aye, aye, Sir!”

She sat down, and I bent down and flicked her nipple with my tongue. That made her stop with the winking and saluting, and she moaned instead. Her fingers wove into my hair and kept my face right where she wanted it. I didn’t mind. I was in nipple heaven.

With the garments out of the way, I ghosted my fingers up her thighs. They parted for me, and I slipped a finger inside her at the same time as I sucked hard on her nipple. She cried out and nearly yanked two handfuls of my hair out. Chuckling against her skin, I reached up with my other hand and coerced her fingers out of my hair. I then kissed her lips while she hooked her feet around my legs, keeping me against her. Like I was planning on going anywhere.

“Need you,” she said, biting down on my lower lip.

“I thought you said that my fingers were enough,” I teased, adding a second finger into her.

“Oooohh…no…well…shit, that feels good…I meant…oh hell, you know what I meant,” she said in between several throaty moans.

I chuckled and produced a condom from my pocket. I was a regular boy scout when it came to being prepared. Pushing down my jeans and boxers past my hips, I tore open the wrapper with my teeth and rolled the condom on while Bella watched. Not only did I know what she meant, but I was also more than ready to give her what she wanted. What I wanted. What we needed. Sliding into her was as heavenly as the first time, and I’d cut off my own dick before disappointing her like that again. So we needed something that didn’t end in disappointment.

We were on the right track. Being inside of Bella felt like the opposite of disappointment. I captured her lips, moving my tongue in a very uncoordinated manner compared to my hips. Her hands were all over, touching every part of me that she could reach, and our moans rang out together. We were literally fucking loud, and it was a good thing that there was no one else left at the bar.

I upped my pace a little, groaning loudly when I looked down and saw myself moving in and out of her. Soon I could feel her tightening around me, and if both my hands hadn’t been occupied with touching Bella, I would have done a fist pump. I could even see the surprise on her face just before she came hard, chanting fuck and digging her nails into my back.

I slowed down to let her catch her breath, leaning down to kiss her shoulder. She skin was salty and damp, and for just a moment the teenage boy came back inside of me, marking his girl with a hickey. When I pulled back and looked at her, her eyes were wide.

“Shit, shit, shit…” she panted. Pushing some papers and stuff aside so it tumbled to the floor, she leaned back on her arms and drew her legs up further. “You’re gonna kill me.”

Since her actions said one thing and her words another, I decided to trust her actions. I slammed roughly into her, biting back a groan to answer her. “No, baby. I’m just giving you…fuck…what I owe you.”

I wasn’t sure if we were making love of fucking – maybe it was somewhere in between – but it was fucking amazing to let go and feel nothing but Bella. I could feel her nearing her second orgasm, and I pulled her up so she was flush against my chest. Her arms circled my torso and she tilted her face up. I didn’t lean down to kiss her. Instead I kept my gaze locked with hers as we tumbled over the edge more or less together. Noisily.

My mind went completely blank for a moment. I wasn’t sure if I was even breathing. Then slowly, everything came back. The feel of Bella pressed against me. The smell of Bella. The sound of Bella still panting. The taste of Bella on my tongue from our kisses. The sight of Bella as I opened my eyes and found myself staring into her shiny, dark hair. A world full of Bella.  

“Holy fuck,” she breathed. Her face was buried in the crook of my neck, and I could feel her breath coming in puffs against my skin. “Consider me convinced. Damn, soldier. If I’d known what you were really packing, I’d gone for round two immediately last week.”

I burst out laughing. Best executed mission ever. Bella laughed, too, and I was pretty sure that life couldn’t get anymore perfect. At least until the office door swung open. I turned around just to see a flash.

“Paparazziiiiiii!” James sung as there was another flash.

I was torn between wanting to go get the baseball bat and kill him – twice – and wanting to shield Bella from the nutcase with the camera.

“Get the fuck out!” I yelled.

The moron giggled. “I’m going, I’m going. I forgot my phone down here, and I heard weird noises, so I had to investigate. Now that I have proof, I hereby declare the investigation complete. Carry on with the baby making!”

“I know a place where we can bury his body,” Bella muttered into my shoulder.

“You’re on,” I replied. “After your next orgasm.”