Chapter 26

Queen Bee

The day of the sonogram had finally arrived, and we were about to find out baby’s sex once and for all. That was, if he or she decided to cooperate. I’d heard stories from patrons in the bar, after I started showing, telling me how they had to wait until after birth before they knew if their child was a boy or a girl. I really, really hoped BC was willing to give us a peek because I was tired of the war of the sexes between the two yahoos I called husband and best male friend.

The insistence that they were right, and the other was wrong, was beginning to grate on my nerves. I almost wished there was a third option for humans; it would have been priceless for both of them to have to eat their words. But, alas, I was going to have to deal with one of them gloating, and I really wasn’t looking forward to it.

Edward, though, had been acting strange since we’d woken up that morning. I’d asked him if something was wrong, but he’d just brushed me off. I’d decided to let it go, thinking he had been nervous about the appointment. I figured he’d tell me if he needed my support.

By lunch time, I was ready to explode from drinking so much water. Stupid doctors and their stupid instructions. I’d tried to pace myself, but Edward kept insisting I drink more, and I started gulping it down just to shut him up. I knew I was harsh sometimes in regards to Edward. I felt bad, but pregnancy hormones were a bitch, and I couldn’t help snapping at him.

Mom brought over our plates, and I scowled at my husband. Like always, he was given his usual burger and coleslaw. Bastard. I, on the other hand, had some kind of steamed vegetables set down in front of me. My mother had taken the whole “eating healthy” bullshit too fucking far.

Not only was she messing with my food at the diner, but she’d extended her reach to my own home. Edward, the fucking tattletale, had mentioned my heavenly M&M and pickle omelets to my mother, and she about hit the roof. After she went off on me, stating that I should watch what I eat because it wasn’t good for the baby, Edward tried to explain that he was just worried and wanted to make sure that kind of thing was normal.

Yeah, right. Fucker just wanted to make sure I suffered because he had to wait three extra days to get his precious coleslaw back during the Great Coleslaw Embargo. I’m on to you, Sergeant Jerkface.

I stabbed the pile of mushy vegetables in front of me, taking my frustration out on them instead of the man sitting across from me. He was wisely staring at his plate and eating quietly. He was, no doubt, hoping he wasn’t drawing attention to himself, much like he would have if he was trying to hide from the enemy. Fucking Army training. 

Edward cleared his throat, blowing my observation sky high. “You should drink more of your water. We have to leave after we get done.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, like I haven’t already consumed enough to fill one of those kiddie pools already.”

“Aw, it hasn’t been that much,” he said, smiling. “The doctor said you have to drink—”

I cut him off with a glare. “I know how much she said I have to drink. Between stretching my bladder to full capacity with liquid, and your child using it as a trampoline, I’m afraid if I stuff anymore inside of me, I’ll pee all over myself.”

Edward pressed his lips together in a hard line, looking like he was trying to hold back a laugh. I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, less than amused.

“How are we doing over here?” My mother said in a cheerful voice.

“Just peachy. Well, except if I drink one more drop, you’ll be mopping the puddle up from under me. But Edward here thinks I need more,” I said in a sarcastic tone.

“Easy, Bella. He’s just trying to help,” Mom chastised, placing her hands on her hips.

Edward pouted. “I just want to see what our baby is. Is that so bad?”

Great, now he’s making me feel bad. Again.

My chin trembled as I tried to keep my tears at bay. Maybe I really was a bitch. He was trying to help, and there I was about to bite his head off. I really did suck as a person.

“Shit,” Edward muttered, leaving his seat to come sit by me. “I’m sorry, baby. You don’t have to drink anymore.”

He rubbed my shoulders, trying to calm me down. I took a few shuddering breaths as I got a hold of my emotions. Did I mention being a hormonal mess most of the time sucked ass?

“No, I’m sorry,” I apologized, looking up at Edward. “I feel like such a crazy person all the time.”

“But you’re my crazy person,” Edward whispered, kissing me on the nose.

“Now, that’s so damn sweet,” Mom said, making me jump. I’d forgotten she was still there.

Edward blushed and went back to his side of the booth. Mom took his place and put her hand on my swollen stomach.

“Hey there, pretty baby. You be good and open those legs wide so the doctor can see what you are. Grandma can’t wait to find out if she should buy pink or blue,” Mom cooed as she rubbed my abdomen.

Edward choked on the Coke he was drinking when he heard the words, open those legs wide.

“Is it really wise to say that to my unborn child? I mean, you don’t want to encourage that kind of behavior. What will happen when BC starts Kindergarten?” Edward stammered as he coughed.

“Babies can’t understand what you say this young,” Mom said, looking at Edward like he’d lost his damn mind. After his comment, I kind of felt the same way. He shrunk back in his seat defensively.

“What?” Edward asked, giving us a sideways glance. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

I shook my head, deciding to let Edward have his madness. I’d just make him spend the night with the diva if he got out of control.

I glanced at my watch and saw that we needed to leave if we wanted to make it to my doctor’s appointment on time. Nudging my mother, I let her know it was time we left, and she stood up. I hugged her as Edward slid out of the booth and told her we’d be back as soon as we knew. Mom smiled and patted my shoulder, telling us that we’d better.

~.~.~.~

The drive to the doctor’s office was quick, and we were called on almost immediately after I signed in. I was led to a room that had a machine similar to the one they’d used for the sonogram months before. I sat down on the padded table while Edward stood beside me. The nurse left, and not long after, the technician came in.

I was instructed to lie down, pull my shirt up and the waistband of my pants down slightly. Edward held my hand and turned his head as the lady started up the machine. She squirted the cold jelly onto my stomach, which made me feel like I had to go even more, and began pushing around with some kind of pee-inducing torture device.

That, of course, did not help with the Bella-has-to-piss-like-a-race-horse situation. I tried to imagine deserts, cracked soil, stiff, brown plants, and anything else synonymous with “dry” to counter the war going on in my bladder. A voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Ah, there you are.” the technician smiled.

“What—what do you mean?” Edward asked nervously.

“Have you decided if you’d like to know the sex of your baby?” the technician said, kindly.

“Yes!” Edward bellowed.

I sighed, slightly embarrassed by his outburst. “Um, yeah.”

She chuckled lowly at my husband’s excitement. “Well, if you look right there, you can see his legs are opened wide, and he’s showing everything.”

“That’s my boy!” Edward called out with enthusiasm. “Wait! You did say he, right?” He furrowed his brow in confusion.

I guffawed, unable to keep the loud laughter locked inside of me. Watching Edward’s reactions were too funny. The lady looked like she was trying to stay professional but secretly wanted to be rolling on the floor in amusement.

“Yes, I did. Your son looks healthy and is growing normally,” She informed us.

I looked back at the screen when she moved the wand, pushing slightly against my stomach. The urge to relieve myself all over the table made itself known again, making me grimace. I thought about how I’d started to like her until she’d done that.

The image of my son stared back at me when I turned to watch the monitor, and I could see that he was sucking his thumb. Stupid hormone induced tears filled my eyes as I looked at him. He was perfect. Sure, people said that shit all the time, but he belonged to Edward and me, which made him more perfect.

Out of the corner of my eye, I swear I saw Edward do a fist pump, but I must have been mistaken. My husband was not stupid enough to make an ass of himself in the doctor’s office. At least, it was what I told myself. I refused to entertain any other explanation; I’d have to kick his ass if I was wrong.

After moving that fucking thing around some more and taking pictures, the technician announced that I was finished and wiped off my stomach.

“You can go the bathroom now, if you need to,” she said as Edward helped me sit up.

“Thank God,” I said, rushing to the restroom. I had honestly never been so happy to pee in my entire life.

~.~.~.~

The rest of the visit was routine. The doctor did some measurements, listened to the heartbeat, and told us everything looked good. Edward and I were out of there in no time with a few sonogram pictures in hand.

Edward wore a goofy grin the entire drive home. I realized that he was going to be unbearable from there on out, and I was sure he couldn’t wait until he could rub it in James face that we were having a boy. James’ reaction to the news was something I wasn’t looking forward to, either. The prissy diva was going to bitch and moan when he found out he would not be getting his wish, and I was probably going to kick his ass. Honestly, it looked like I was going to have to kick someone’s ass no matter what. Sigh.

“Come on,” Edward said, almost yanking my arm off as he helped me out of the car.

“Slow down,” I yelled, trying to pull my arm back. “I’m attached to that, you know.”

He smiled apologetically when he caught the frosty glare I was sending his way. “I’m sorry. I just want to tell everyone the news.”

“I don’t believe you.” I called him out on his lie. “What you want to do is rub it in James’ face that BC is a boy.”

He put his arm around my shoulders as we walked to the entrance to the diner. “That, my love, is just the icing on the cake. I tried to tell him that my sperm only knows how to make boys, but he didn’t believe me. It’s not my fault he’s about to eat crow.”

Edward laughed, opening the door so I could walk inside. Behind the counter stood my parents, Leah, and fucking James—all looking at us expectantly. I had a feeling that if we hadn’t come to them, they would have barged into our apartment when they found out we were back. Overzealous freaks.

I hobbled up onto a barstool in front of the group I called family, and Edward sat down beside me, practically bouncing.

“So, do I get to officially buy pink now, or are you going to keep dragging this out?” James asked with his hands on his hips.

Edward shot me a pleading look, wanting, I was sure, to be the one to crush James. I nodded my head, deciding that I was going to hide when the shrieking began. Maybe Mom would come upstairs with me, and we could have a civilized conversation about BC.

An evil grin spread across Edward face, and I knew he was going to milk it for all it was worth. “I’m so glad you brought up the question up of whether or not my child will be wearing pink. The answer, James, is no. My son will not be wearing any of that girly shit like I told you.”

“Psht,” James scoffed and rolled his eyes. “A girl, muffin butt. How many times do we have to go over this?”

Mom, Dad, and Leah, thankfully, were quicker to understand the meaning of Edward’s comments. Mom looked at me with questioning eyes, and I nodded my head. Dad seemed proud and had a small smile on his lips. Leah just looked like she was happy for us.

“No, James,” Edward continued, reaching over and taking the sonogram pictures from me. He winked at me, making me shake my head. “A boy. I have concrete proof, right here, that I am having a son.”

Edward pulled out the picture that showed exactly what BC was and pushed it over to James.  He studied it for a few moments, and then he threw it back at Edward. James glared in Edward’s direction.

“That picture is wrong,” the annoying diva argued, scowling at the offending picture. “Obviously, whoever took it has no idea what they are doing. Look at all those shadows! And…it’s kind of blurry! Nope, I’m not convinced.”

“You’re an idiot. Just admit that you were wrong, and I was right. I’m having a son, and you’re going to have to take back all the pink shit littering my apartment.” Edward gave James a winning smile.

“Until we get a second opinion, I’m not taking back anything,” James warned, leaning closer to Edward across the counter. “Tom Cruise had one of those sonogram-thingys when that slut Katie was pregnant. We should buy one, and Dr. James will be able to tell if it’s true or not.”

“You are not going to come near my wife or son with one of those things. I’m not sure it’s safe for just anyone to use them. You are this close,” Edward punctuated his words by moving his pointer finger and thumb so close together, they were almost touching, “ to getting my foot up your ass.”

I looked away from the scene unfolding with James and Edward, turning my attention to my mother.

“I’m so excited!” My mother squealed, reaching over the counter and hugging me. “He’s going to be the cutest thing ever to grace this earth. Have you two picked out any names?”

My mother’s question made me pause, because Edward and I had not decided on a name yet. He’d been so wrapped up in proving that BC was a boy, just to torment the diva, and I’d just concentrated on the fact that I was going to be a mother. Even though I’d gotten used to the idea, and was embracing it, didn’t mean that things still didn’t freak me out from time to time. And, in that moment, I realized just how much I still hadn’t even thought of. Crap. I was the worst mother in the world.

“Uh, no. We haven’t settled on a name yet. Should we already have one picked out?” I asked, starting to panic.

“Oh, Bella,” Mom said in a soft voice. “You have plenty of time. Since you know what your baby is, it’ll be a lot easier to narrow one down.”

And that is why I loved the woman. She had calmed me down with only a few words of her wisdom, and all was well.

“Well, I want to see pictures of my grandson,” My dad said with his goofy smile. “Grandson.”

I smiled at him. It was amazing to know that there would be another male that my father could pass on his wisdom and traditions to. When Jake died, our family name had died with him. There wouldn’t be any more Swans added to the family. However, even though BC would be a Cullen, he would be a Swan in spirit.

“Yeah, let me steal them back from Edward,” I said, turning toward him.

“You’re not getting out of it. We’re having a boy, which means, you lose,” I heard Edward say.

“Um, what the hell are you two yammering about?” I questioned, grabbing the sonogram pictures from in front of Edward. I glanced at my husband, and I noticed that he sat on the stool like a stone statue. James looked over at me with a smug grin.

“You’re going to get it now,” James muttered, flicking his eyes to Edward then back at me.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Edward hissed dangerously at James.

“The Hungry Man dinner over here bet me five hundred dollars he knocked you up with a boy, but I said no, we can’t bet on Bella’s baby. It would be wrong because, a—it’s a girl. And b—betting on children is wrong,” James said, putting on his best pathetic face.

“What?! No! You pressured me into the bet. You questioned my manhood, you liar!” Edward pointed at James accusingly.

“Humph. Whatever. I think you’re a cheater anyway. I refuse to pay until I have concrete proof.” James glared and cocked his head to the side.

At that moment, I didn’t know whether to kill my husband, James, or laugh at their stupidity. Both men had set themselves up to be on my shit list by even entertaining that moronic idea. Did they really think that they’d get away with it? I was bound to find out when Edward somehow had an extra five hundred bucks laying around, or the diva bought something extravagant and stupid, like a life-sized cardboard cutout of Tom Cruise or something. And James would have been dumb enough to invite me over to show it off, thus ending up spilling the beans when he’d have to explain how it got there.

I picked up the pictures and stood up. “You know…I can’t even. Just…Ugh!”

I went upstairs to the apartment, knowing that if I stayed, someone was going to incur my wrath. Men were the stupidest, most dense creatures on the planet, and I couldn’t believe that I was about to add to the population. I was so going to be in charge of raising BC. Edward wasn’t going to get to do anything with our baby without written approval from me first. Idiot.

I slammed the door and sat down on the couch. Leaning my head back, I closed my eyes and willed the headache that was forming to go away. A knock interrupted the silence, and I went to open the door. For Rusty’s sake, he’d better hope he wasn’t the one on the other side of the door. I needed a few more minutes, or hours, to calm down before I could act rationally. It was not the time for him to start groveling. Stupid fucking man.

Just as I reached the door, I heard a voice call out. “Honey, it’s me. Open up.”

Relief flooded through me when I realized it was my mother. I didn’t have to try and control my temper at the moment.

I opened up and let her inside. Turning toward the couch to sit again, she followed me. We sat quietly for a few minutes before she spoke.

“Your dad took Edward and James downstairs to do inventory. He figured you’d need a few moments to cool off. After all these years, I think the man has finally gotten it,” Mom said with a smile.

I chuckled softly. “I’m so mad at Edward, but, at the same time, I’m kind of glad he won. Can you imagine what James would be like right now if it had been the other way?”

“I love that boy to death, but you’re right. He would have been unbearable,” she said, shaking her head.

“I don’t think yelling at either of them is the way to handle this,” I said, thinking. Honestly, I had no idea how they ever thought this bet was a good idea to begin with. It reminded me of the time Emmett and Jake decided to see who could walk the farthest down our street wearing Mom’s red pumps when they were in seventh grade. Even though Jake beat Emmett, Dad almost had a coronary when he saw in only son strutting down the block.

My brother: always good for a practical joke.

And then it hit me. Remembering my brother and Emmett’s foolishness gave me the perfect idea for payback. Instead of getting mad, I was going to deal with this like Jake would have. I could almost see him smiling down at me.  “No, I think I have a much better idea.”

I looked over at my mother and told her my idea. She teared up when I mentioned my inspiration came from Jake, and then began helping me hammer out the final details. In truth, my mother was more diabolical than Jake and I put together. Those boys weren’t going to know what hit them.

~.~.~.~

Edward had come home with his tail tucked between his legs later that day. He was the poster boy for fuck-up husbands everywhere and tried to suck up all night. I told him I was forgiving him on one condition—when the time came, he was going to do a favor for me. He agreed quickly, without questioning the reason I wasn’t kicking him to the couch. My plan was working out better than I thought.

The diva, though, proved to be a harder nut to crack. At first, he was adamant that he wasn’t in the wrong, and the doctor was a liar anyway. I was able to convince him, after examining every inch of the sonogram pictures with a magnifying glass that he, in reality, had lost and was going to have a nephew. He pouted for days but agreed to do me a favor so I wouldn’t cut his clothes into shreds. I loved my mother even more for putting that idea into my head.

The weeks went by, and I was getting bigger and bigger. I felt like I was my own solar system by the time April was upon us. The week before, I’d gotten the last touches of my devious plan to pay the boys back together with the help of Rose, Jessica, and my mother. All were eager to see it in action and planned on being at the bar to witness.

The night before April first, I called James over to the apartment and revealed to them exactly what they would be doing to rectify the fact they’d bet on BC. Edward’s response was a “hell no,” and James looked like he wanted to throw me out a window. When I reminded them that they’d agreed and seemed happy about getting out of the doghouse with me, they caved. I let them know that I expected them to play along the entire shift at the bar the next night. Both were unhappy with the stipulations, but after I threatened to involve Mom, they agreed without complaint.

I need to work on my bitch glare. One day, I’ll be Mama Swan, er…Mama Cullen. Maybe I need to start taking lessons from the master.

The bar was about to open for the night, and James was whining. It was to be expected, but I rolled my eyes at him. Edward, well, he looked like he was trying to find an escape route.

“C’mon, Bella. I swear…I’ve learned my lesson. Please don’t make me go out there,” Edward whimpered pathetically.

“Who bet on our child?” I asked with my hand on my hip.

Edward hung his head and whispered. “I did.”

“That’s right,” I said in a stern voice. “Now, get out there and serve the customers. We don’t pay you for your looks, princess.”

I slapped him on his ass as he walked by, making him jump. I blew him a kiss when he glared at me, continuing through the back room door to the front. The sounds of catcalls rang out on the other side of the door.

“I’ll give you a full body massage if you let me go home and change. These magic fingers will cure all your aches and pains,” James pleaded with a pout.

“Nice try, Travolta. Now get out there and shake that booty!” I called out cheerfully.

James huffed and went out to serve thirsty customers, and I could hear the sounds of laughter as I followed him. Mom and Dad were already stationed behind the bar, clutching on to the sides as they laughed. Emmett, Rose, Jessica, and Mike looked like they were about to fall of the stools they were cackling so hard. I chuckled as I walked around and joined my friends. It was too great of a night to work, so I’d traded with my mother.

I sat down beside Emmett. He held out his fist for me to bump, and I hit his with mine.

“Hey, Edward. Can I get a lap dance later?” Emmett called out.

“Fuck you. You’re supposed to be my friend,” Edward said, adjusting his panty hose.

The sight of Edward dressed as a woman, and James as a throwback from the seventies was almost too much for me. I was laughing so hard, I was crying. Jessica, Rose, and Mom had helped me comb the thrift stores in the area for the perfect outfits to inflict my revenge on the idiots. They’d found a polyester suit that was almost an exact replica of the one that John Travolta wore in Saturday Night Fever and a pink dress that ended up fitting Edward like a glove. It came past his knees and had capped sleeves. His hair was curled, his face was caked with makeup, and he looked uncomfortable as hell. It was awesome.

And James, the fact that he was in thrift store clothes and had enough oil in his hair to grease my engine for years, was enough for me.

“Now, now. Be nice to our customers. You wouldn’t want to get fired, now would you?” I asked in a mock-serious tone.

Edward looked over at James. “You had better stay out of my way tonight, tattletale. I cannot be held responsible for my actions if you get in my way.”

“Yeah, right. You can’t even walk in those things. How are you going to catch me, RuPaul?” James taunted with a smug smile.

The bar erupted in laughter. It seemed that most of Forks had caught wind of what was happening that night and had decided to come and see the show.

Edward kicked off his shoes, and James ran behind my mother, letting out a high-pitched scream. “Don’t let him get me! I’m too pretty to be mauled by a drag queen!”

“I’ll show you drag queen, you—” Edward was cut off by my dad grabbing a hold of him.

“Settle down, son, and take your punishment like a man,” Dad said, trying to keep a straight face.

“Charlie, I’ve been thoroughly emasculated. I don’t see the harm in acting like the bitch my wife has reduced me to,” Edward retorted, struggling in my father’s grasp.

“At least you get to wear clothes. If I had bet on one of my kids while Sue was pregnant, I would have been standing buck assed naked behind this bar. Sue is ruthless,” My father admitted.

Edward chanced a look at Mom and was met with her steely gaze, making him flinch. “You’re right. I’m getting off easy.”

Dad let Edward go, and he began taking drink orders. Only, he forgot to put back on his shoes.  I had to fix that, immediately.

“Oh, love muffin!” I called out. Edward froze and turned my way slowly.

“Yes?” My cross dressing husband asked carefully.

“You need to put back on the shoes,” I said sweetly.

“Baby, please don’t make me wear them. I’m humiliating myself here, and they hurt my feet. Can’t a man get some kind of comfort?”

“But…they complete the outfit.” I pouted overdramatically.

He huffed and stomped over to the pink shoes. Emmett guffawed as Edward tried to balance himself as he placed the uncomfortable shoes back on his feet. Once he was finished, he wobbled back over the bar. 

“But it itches!” James yelled, scratching his arm through his polyester suit.

“Hush. Quit your whining and get back to work,” Mom said, pointing to the shelf housing the liquor.

James hung his head. “Yes, Mama Swan.”

I hung on to Emmett most of the night, so my large pregnant ass wouldn’t end up on the floor from laughing so hard. Edward had given up early in the night trying to walk normal. Every time he’d take a step, he’d wobble and almost fall on his ass. Instead, he realized that taking smaller steps to shuffling across the floor like he had a stick up his ass was the way to go.

James just glided around on his platform shoes serving drinks. However, he did have to stop and scratch every so often. He’d gotten it in his head that the cheap fabric he’d been forced to wear was giving him hives, and on a few occasions, had tried to pull his shirt or pants off to have my mother check. All it had earned him was a few smacks on the back of the head, and some very stern “get back to work’s” from Mom.

 The night had turned out better than I could have ever pictured in my head. Between Edward’s grumbling and the diva’s whining, I knew I had picked the right punishment. When BC was old enough, I was telling him the story of how his father and auntie had bet on him and how his Mom had paid them back. I was hoping that it would be a cautionary tale that would make him think twice about being as big of a moron as the two clowns in front of me. Speaking of cautionary tales…

“Smile!” I called out as the flash went off.

“I know you didn’t just do that!” James screeched, wide-eyed.

“Aw, c’mon, Bella!” Edward yelled, stomping his foot in frustration. “I said I was sorry!”

“Yeah, you did. But I don’t trust that you’ll make the right decision the next time. I’m going to hang this over the bar, and when one of you idiots thinks something is a good idea, all you’ll have to do is look up at this picture. If what you’re planning on is worth having something like this happen again, well, then I can’t stop you. But if it’s not, let this be a reminder of what happens when I get mad,” I stated, smiling at them.

Both men pouted as they went back to work.

~.~.~.~

After Edward’s and James’ punishment was over, the “incident” at the bar was never mentioned again. I did make good on my promise to hang the evidence of their stupidity over the bar, even going as far as to frame it. Edward, though, never seemed to forget the lesson. Following that night, any time James had started in on one of his crazy ideas at work, all Edward had to do was point at the picture and look at James expectantly. That was all it took to stop whatever James was going to say in its tracks.

Before we knew it, May was upon us. Since it was warmer out, Edward, Dad, and Emmett were planning on another fishing trip. James had begged to be included, but had been shot down every time he asked. No one, it seemed, was over him freaking out over the log he thought was a crocodile.

I was getting closer and closer to my due date, which happened to be around the fifteenth of July. While eager to see my baby, I was also ready to not be pregnant anymore. The size of my baby bump, it seemed, was in direct correlation with my comfort level. The bigger I got, the more uncomfortable I became. Not to mention, I was snapping at everyone left and right. I felt bad about it, but my patience was almost nonexistent those days and most of it ended up being directed to Edward. He’d taken to doing inventory two or three times a week, even if he’d done nothing wrong. I was convinced it was just a way to get away from my crabby ass.

The one thing he didn’t back down from was his insistence that I quit working in the bar and switch to the diner. He said that he hated me working around all the drunks while I was pregnant. So far, I was winning that fight because I still waited on thirsty patrons every night. The battle for after the baby was born, though, wasn’t as easy. My traitorous mother actually agreed with Edward that after BC had arrived maybe switching with Leah or even Mom would be a good idea. I wasn’t sold on it, fighting tooth and nail at the moment. I just didn’t know what I wanted to do, and quite frankly, it was pissing me off that everyone was trying to make decisions for me instead of asking me what I wanted.

That argument was why I was by myself at the bar working that afternoon. Edward and I had had a particularly heated discussion, resulting in my father telling Edward that he needed help picking up a few cases of rum our regular distributor forgot to deliver. I knew what my father was trying to do, and I appreciated it. Edward and I were getting nowhere, and we needed a break from each other. My worrywart of a husband only left when Mom promised to check on me every so often, and James said he would come down as soon as he finished eating his lunch at the diner.

It had been an hour since they’d left, and my mood had started to improve. I understood why he was being an overbearing ass. I just didn’t have to like it.

I leaned back on the stool that my mother and husband insisted I use while I worked. The bar was pretty much dead, and being seven months pregnant, I was secretly glad I didn’t have but two customers to wait on. My feet were killing me.

I was broken out of my thoughts by two women strolling up to the bar. One seemed older, around my mother’s age, and was dressed impeccably. The woman next to her was younger, closer to my own age, and wore clothes that screamed fashion victim. She looked like the kind of girl that would throw a fit if a certain top or dress that was in season had sold out. I wondered what they were doing in Forks, walking into Downstairs like they were owed something. It was obvious they didn’t belong there by the way they turned their noses up at the décor and acted like the counter was covered in slime. I decided I probably wasn’t going to like them.

I heaved my heavy, pregnant ass off of the stool and waddled over to the bar top. “What can I get you ladies?” I asked as nicely as I could muster.

The older one wrinkled her nose at me and grimaced. “Well, I’m sure it’ll be a chore for you, but I’d like to speak to my son.”

I was a little taken aback for a moment because I was sure she’d just called me fat without actually saying it. Passive aggressive bitch.

“A lot of people’s sons come in and out of here, so you’re going to have to be more specific,” I said, crossing my arms.

“Well, his father said that he’s actually working in this dive, which I cannot believe. I thought we raised him to respect himself better than that. So, if you would, tell him his mother would like to speak to him,” she said in a tone that left no room for argument.

The moment she said his mother, it all clicked. The older woman standing before me was Esme Cullen, which meant that the other person next to her had to be Alice. I couldn’t believe, after his dad had come and gotten chewed out, the remaining members of his family would have the audacity to show their faces around the bar again. It looked like they were either really tenacious or extremely stupid. With what I wanted to say to the egg donor in front of me, I was betting on the later part.

“I’m sorry, but you must be mistaken. The other two employees, not related to me, already have a mother, and she’s upstairs. Are you sure you have the right place?” I asked in a falsely concerned voice.

Esme glared at me. “I’m sure I have the right place. It’s the only dive in this town. Carlisle was pretty clear about where Edward was at.”

“Oh, then I know you’ve got the wrong place. See, Edward has a horrible excuse for a family. They’re so bad that they didn’t give a shit whether or not he died. So, we’re his family now, and I was positive that his pathetic father got the message when he was kicked out. I know none of them have the balls to show up a second time.”

“Why, you little bitch. How dare you talk to my mother that way!” the woman, who I’d guessed was Alice, seethed.

“Lady, I’ll talk to her any damn way I want. After the way you people treated my husband, you should be glad I’m in no condition to jump over this counter and give you the ass kicking you deserve,” I said, balling up my fists.

“So you’re the whore who has dug her claws into my baby boy?” Esme asked, looking down her nose at me. “Did you find out about his inheritance? Is that why you trapped him?”

I looked over at Alice. “Is she for real? Is that the only reason you think he’d marry me?”

Alice grimaced in my direction.

I turned back to Esme. “Listen. Not everything is about money, you Stepford wife. I didn’t even know about it until after we were married, but that’s beside the point. What kind of mother are you that you’d actually let your son, whom you seem to be pretending to care so much about now, in a hospital bed—in a coma!—alone?

“And this?” I said, pointing to my enlarged stomach. “This is someone you’ll never get to meet. He’ll grow up to be an amazing person because Edward is an amazing man despite how you and your bastard husband raised him. This child will have more love than Edward ever had because Edward’s finally been given the chance to see what a real family is like.

“We know what it’s like to lose someone who’s important, and we’re not about to let Edward go without a fight. So, if I were you, I’d leave and never come back.”

Angry tears were gathering in my eyes by the end of my speech. I couldn’t believe that the pompous and judgmental woman standing in front of me was Edward’s mother. Who were those people that raised him? Where had they come from? Because I’d never seen so much hate and judgment in my life.

Esme opened her mouth to speak, but another voice cut her off. “You heard my daughter. I think it’s time you left.”

I turned my head and watched my mom walk into the bar. He face was expressionless, letting me know she was moments away from losing her cool. I’d only ever seen that face a few times in my life, and I always knew to steer clear when it came out. I backed up and let Mom step in front of the women standing on the other side of the bar. She was in full mama bear mode, and I was not about to get in her way.

Esme huffed loudly. “How dare you speak to me that way? I don’t know who you think you are, but where I come from people know that you always respect a Cullen. Maybe here in this sorry excuse for a town, you don’t need respect. But I will not be talked down to like I’m some mere commoner.”

“Lady, that’s it,” My mother seethed, leaning dangerously close to Esme. “I’ve heard enough of your bullshit. You lost the right to call Edward your son the moment you made him feel like he was less of a person for joining the Army, which, by the way, is one of the most respectable positions one could choose for a career. And you’re standing here preaching to me about respect? You have the most backwards, skewed, and fucked up idea of what respect is. Respect has nothing to do with money or social status. Instead, it’s about what kind of person you are and what you’re willing to risk to help those who have less than you.

“Edward, despite the lies and crap you tried to spoon feed him as a child, is a wonderful man. He’s someone whom I’ve been proud to call son-in-law and son. He’s my boy now, so you can skip your pathetic, pompous ass out of here and know that he’ll be taken care of. And if you ever darken our doorstep again, I’ll shove my foot so far up your ass, it’ll come out of your mouth. I don’t take too kindly to worthless parents. If you have any doubts about that, go pay a visit to Mrs. McCarthy over on Pear Street. She’ll tell you all about me, and my opinion of how she raised her own son. Now, get the fuck out of here.”

Esme and Alice looked at my mother with terror-filled eyes. They backed away slowly and then walked quickly up the stairs and out the front door of the bar. I started to snicker as the door slammed back on the frame.

No one, and I mean no one, ever won when Sue Swan was pissed.